Episode 90 Noh
Yeon-seok was scared of Manager Lee Jae-heon.
I’ve never imagined it, but I thought it would be scary if I actually saw someone with a dual personality. The sight of someone I knew suddenly changing into a different personality right in front of my eyes made me shrug my shoulders.
The blood that Director Lee Jae-heon shed was also scary. There was definitely color in this world, but there was none, so it was colorless and the blood in it was particularly noticeable. Noh Yeon-seok was scared to see his face so calm, with a wound that could have caused him to collapse from exhaustion.
Lee Jae-heon said he had his limits, and Noh Yeon-seok thought that was true.
But really?
‘Is he that fine?’
Noh Yeon-seok could not find a single trace of pain on that person’s face.
If it were me, I would have cried so hard that my shoulder would have already been hurt and I wouldn’t be able to get up. Isn’t it possible that anyone other than himself would be able to look so fine with such wounds?
Yes, it was fine. It wasn’t just quiet or serene, it just looked ‘fine’.
“If you want to light a fire by yourself until the lighter fuel runs out, do that.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Didn’t I tell you to be more careful if you want to get rid of the intern label?”
The bridge of the nose is slightly wrinkled. Wrinkled eyebrows.
The narrowed eyes and distorted lips, as if trying to be patient when trying to go up, couldn’t hold back. It’s as if his whole body is telling you that he hates you.
When I wondered if he was someone I used to know, he always came back with the face of someone they had seen before. The way we always made fun of each other and called him an old man behind his back.
“….”
Noh Yeon-seok felt an inexplicable feeling of nausea.
‘…scared.’
I had the illusion that there were two faces on that person’s neck, just like something depicted in a religious painting I saw when I was young. It was something that no human being could have.
It was difficult for Noh Yeon-seok to breathe. Just standing under a colorless sky made me stamp my feet with a strange feeling of nervousness, and a sadness that inexplicably resembled self-pity spread throughout my body. Even though I was doing nothing but walking and moving, I felt nauseous and couldn’t open my mouth.
To him, Manager Lee Jae-heon’s appearance was excessively confusing. I felt sick to my stomach, as if I were to put a greasy-smelling hamburger in front of a sick person, and when I got in a car for 12 hours and felt motion sick, I felt nauseous as if I was looking at a colorful monitor. My stomach felt tight and throbbing.
So, I was quite surprised by what Assistant Manager Jeong In-ho said.
“The manager has been getting hurt ever since.”
It really was.
The only one among them who was injured was Manager Lee Jae-heon, and we didn’t even get a single decent scratch, and yet that person tried to hide his injuries. I didn’t try to tell them.
“Why do you think so deeply about it and just do it because you can?”
Immediately after, Assistant Manager Jeong In-ho asked, ‘Are you serious?’ and Manager Lee Jae-heon said a little later that it was a joke, but it was clear to everyone that he was not serious. It was clear that this person thought that was a very natural thing.
Noh Yeon-seok, who harbored a familiar level of malice towards him, wanted to say something, but he said,
“I know that my body is a waste, so let’s not be a hassle.”
“….”
There was no way I could open my mouth to that.
It passed quickly after that. Assistant Manager Jeong In-ho left the place, leading the flower shop owner and the doctor, and the only people left in the small vacant lot were Manager Kang Min-ah, Kwon Yeon-hee, Manager Lee Jae-heon, and himself. There was no one present who did not know what Jung In-ho’s intentions were.
Not long after, Manager Lee Jae-heon washed his face dry and spoke.
“…Yeonseok.”
“yes yes.”
“Well…”
Director Jaeheon Lee continued as if he were holding back something.
“sorry.”
Noh Yeon-seok was able to find the smallest amount of pain and patience in his lower-than-usual voice and frowning face.
He waved his hand in surprise at seeing his face again for the first time.
“Oh no! It’s me. “I kept saying pointless things… and clouding the mood…”
“I was just being sensitive.”
“No, that’s not it…”
I finally blurted out.
“…I’m sorry, Manager.”
However, he himself could not define exactly what he was sorry for.
Others followed my voice and offered their apologies, but Noh Yeon-seok wanted to ask at least once if possible. Who on earth are you apologizing for and for what? What are you apologizing to him for?
And just at that moment, Director Kang Min-ah spoke as if she was breathing out her breath.
“The manager kept getting hurt because of us, but we didn’t do anything.”
That was Kang Min-ah’s guilt.
‘…Then what about me?’
What on earth am I sorry to him for?
Confusion arises.
Have you been swearing at Director Lee Jae-heon all this time? No, to be honest, it was that person’s fault, so Noh Yeon-seok had no reason to bear the guilt.
Didn’t do anything like Director Kang Min-ah said? Of course, that is true, but if it were true, it would have become clear the moment I heard those words.
As I was biting my lip because I couldn’t find a clear answer, I heard the manager’s voice, which I had already become accustomed to for a while, in my ears.
“It’s okay, this was the most efficient.”
…efficiency?
“…yes?”
“…uh?”
“….”
“No, I’m not saying you’re bad… it was my choice anyway…”
Director Lee Jae-heon’s words had some parts that did not fit from a physiological aspect, let alone an ethical one.
He talked as if he were a machine or an animal, and Noh Yeon-seok could not understand it.
Even Manager Lee Jae-heon seemed to realize that something was wrong only after seeing their reaction. That was quite an embarrassing sight for Noh Yeon-seok, who lived with minimal self-esteem.
“It’s just the situation… everyone has become sensitive because the situation is like this.”
“….”
“I’m a little tired too, so Yeon-seok was just being sarcastic, and that’s just… something like that. “If you’re having a hard time, it’s hard to think kind thoughts.”
Beyond the words that are excuses no matter who hears them,
“The words were not polite, but the people who heard them may have been a little annoyed.”
“…Did I show that I was annoyed?”
“…uh?”
“I’m sorry.”
Until I apologized again for my clumsy consolation.
Noh Yeon-seok couldn’t figure out what exactly he was feeling guilty about.
It certainly seems like I feel sorry for that person. I did something wrong and I know it. Among the many reasons, Noh Yeon-seok was unable to find the clear source of the heart that seemed to be grasping and shaking.
He said anything to find out the reason, and said,
“I was actually just ignoring the advice the manager gave me on a regular basis…”
Lee Jae-heon said.
“…Then do you listen to that?”
“…yes?”
“That’s all old school…”
Then he opened his eyes wide.
“…ah.”
“….”
“…Let’s just move on.”
Then he averted his gaze as if he had made a mistake.
Noh Yeon-seok simply nodded at Manager Lee Jae-heon’s seemingly vague words, but he couldn’t help but feel more complicated and confused than that.
‘…Are you saying it was all an act?’
The fact that he asked whether there was a need to listen to his own ‘advice’ meant that Manager Lee Jae-heon also knew how he was seen by others. It also meant that it was meant to be so.
Then why?
“Anyway… Since we both made mistakes equally, let’s stop thinking about unnecessary things and take a good rest until the rest of the group returns.”
“….”
…But then, is Manager Lee Jae-heon really a bad person?
‘If he had been a really bad person, he wouldn’t have saved us.’
He has been helping them ever since he came to this world. Even though he was in danger of dying more than once, he saved them all, especially the case of Chief Kang Min-ah. Moreover, didn’t they also save the flower shop owner and the doctor?
In the process, Director Lee Jae-heon was always injured, and even when he collapsed or lost consciousness, he hid or did not disclose the indescribable pain.
“The students there. “It looks like he’s been following us since a while ago.”
“….”
“Can we talk for a moment?”
He was also kind to his young students.
“I think we’re still young. Wouldn’t it be better if we were together rather than alone?”
“…That…”
“The seat won’t be bad either. “It’s dark and it’s better to be together than to go somewhere else.”
It wasn’t a very explicit emotion.
Director Lee Jae-heon’s face was a little stiff due to his unique clumsiness and stiffness, and his tone and voice were not very friendly. Maybe it looked like he was trying to hold back the sarcasm he had become accustomed to.
But it clearly contained consideration and concern for the other person.
“Wouldn’t it be dangerous if it got darker?”
And suddenly I realized.
Manager Jaeheon Lee is a good person. He was a good and kind person, but for some reason he pretended to be bad, and we were fooled by that and cursed at him. Also, it was not the fault of Noh Yeon-seok or others.
But yeah.
“….”
That person is afraid.
That was my guilt.
* * *
And Lee Jae-heon also knew that.
‘My snout, my snout is going crazy, damn it.’
Jaeheon Lee had often been the object of fear in his past life, so he had an incredible talent for recognizing negative emotions toward himself. Of course, it was similar in this life as well.
Therefore, I knew that intern Noh Yeon-seok had a subtle fear of me after entering the underworld. Every time Jaeheon Lee’s tone changes and his expression changes, he becomes less talkative, he turns pale when he sees the blood I spilled, or he tries not to talk to me as much as possible.
So Jaeheon Lee didn’t talk to him either. Whenever there was a need to mention Noh Yeon-seok, he called out Chief Kang, whom he liked and depended on, as much as possible, and also completely understood that this chick did not want to open her mouth.
Even in my past life, I had that level of mercy.
‘But you’re blowing this up here…’
I’m sure I’ve had a taste for it.
Jaeheon Lee thought so and nodded internally. I didn’t recover properly, but I was very hectic, probably because I had done a lot of things. Although it may be because my head was spinning due to the influence of the other side of the world.
Still, in the world of my previous life, there was a way to deal with this condition, but in this world, there was no such thing as there was no immunity to pain. To be honest, when I think back to my past life, I was surprised at how poorly they tried to correct my mental abnormality through counseling. The level of drug treatment is also poor….
“….”
Oh no. That’s not the problem now.
‘We need to fix this before the chick’s mentality explodes.’
Feeling a sense of duty, Jaeheon Lee hurriedly opened his mouth before the other person could say anything.
“are you okay.”
“…that.”
“I’m fine, I’m really fine.”
“I’m sorry….”
“What is there to be sorry for?”
I have consistently said that the important thing in the underworld is mental power, but there are different types of mental power. To be honest, Lee Jae-heon’s mental strength, which was accustomed to various abnormalities, could not be compared to that of other chicks.
In the end, what is being chipped away at in the underworld is, strictly speaking, a ‘healthy mind’. The more mentally ill a person like Lee Jae-heon is, the easier it is to adapt to the underworld, and the fact that he couldn’t hear the wind blowing on spider legs at work was in the same vein. It was probably convenient because there was no need to be tempted by monsters.
Unfortunately, intern Noh Yeon-seok was the one with the healthiest spirit among the chicks gathered so far. It may be because he simply has a weak mentality, but he also had a big stake in suffering even more because he was the closest person to what is commonly referred to as ‘normal’ in this world.
‘So I tried to make you crazy in a more healthy way.’
In the end, these chicks have to become adults someday, so I tried to raise them as mentally ill without turning them completely crazy. I thought it would be much better if Lee Jae-heon was by my side and slowly adjusted my situation, rather than suddenly experiencing great pain and completely collapsing.
Among them, the main character was gradually learning the maturity shown in the original novel, President Yoon and the doctor were originally mentally ill, and Director Kang and Employee Kwon were also gradually finding their place… ‘He’s not there yet.
‘
In terms of swimming, this friend was still getting used to the temperature of the pool water. However, if you suddenly fall into the sea, your mentality will naturally go out, and if you lose your mentality like that, how can you recover from it?
If Jaeheon Lee was dead, he would just die once and return, but this bastard is alive. There is a high probability that the protagonist will return with the memories he had before returning, so there is no justification for Lee Jae-heon to die pretending to be crazy over his colleague’s death.
Above all else, I didn’t want to die just because one chick had a mental breakdown.
“Yeonseok, I’m really fine.”
Lee Jae-heon, who was in a mild panic, didn’t know how his words would sound.
“It can be scary, right? “You have nothing to be sorry for.”
“….”
“Oh look. You are thinking wrong now. I was bad. You didn’t do anything wrong, I did everything wrong. “I’m the one who’s bad, but Yeon-seok, you have no reason to feel guilty.”
“…something like that. not.”
“No wonder you were scared of me.”
That’s because it was like that in my past life too.
Originally, in order to avoid being broken, it was easier to hate others other than myself, and Lee Jae-heon was a villain acknowledged by others. If I hated him instead of myself, everyone could be at ease.
Because it’s natural for me to hurt others in order to survive.
“Why are you sorry for something that’s obvious?”
So you should do the same.
