Episode 62
How many times will I have to do this when I grow up?
* * *
In the world of my previous life, pain and injury were not valued, but that was the trend of society, so it was not an absolute value.
If we were to make an analogy based on common sense in today’s life, it would be similar to expecting adults to become adults to a certain degree. When I get to that age, I will be able to figure out my future path, earn my own money, and not cry like a child if I fall for a moment… That’s the expectation.
The values in the previous world were also similar.
“…Employee Kwon is surprisingly mentally weak.”
Kwon Yeon-hee frowned excessively and asked at Lee Jae-heon’s words.
“…Is that what you want to say to me who just stopped crying?”
“Your already scruffy face has turned into a completely steamed bun.”
“You’re making fun of me for crying now.”
“Think about it, how old are you when you start crying in front of others? “My nephew doesn’t cry because of his pride.”
“I got scolded for being worse than my nephew…”
Lee Jae-heon didn’t seem to be truly shocked and was probably embarrassed to think that he had just cried, so he kept his mouth shut at that point.
‘When will I get out of being a chick?’
Lee Jae-heon didn’t get angry at lesser things because they had their own finite aspects, so instead of getting angry, he just missed the trends of his past life.
In my past life, even though physiological tears and screams due to pain were okay, if I cried as if the world was going to end because it was a little painful, I was treated like an idiot. If you attach value to pain and injury and inject emotions into it, you are treated as unadulterated or lacking in some way. If I were to use common sense in today’s life, it felt like watching someone overly immersed in a movie or animation.
However, to put it in reverse, it also meant that even in that trend, there were people who valued pain and injury. Just as not all people in the world are the same. And Jaeheon Lee had to control those people so that they could work efficiently.
Because that’s all labor.
“…Well, okay. Is our team’s youngest member coming to his senses? “Are you able to breathe now?”
“Manager, stop bothering Yeon-seok….”
“It’s outrageous that you criticize the manager’s pure concern like this.”
Lee Jae-heon, who was looking at Noh Yeon-seok, who still looked dazed, wiped the corners of his mouth and continued speaking.
“…If you are having a hard time, tell me.”
This much consideration could have been given to the chick.
It was like that in my past life too. I couldn’t sympathize with why they were crying in despair, but I understood the reason.
To that end, Jaeheon Lee identified the individual’s tendencies. Is it a person for whom empathic support works better or a person for whom consequential rewards work better? Or maybe you’re someone who needs both and needs a bit of a complicated conversation. Should we approach it with a short-term plan or a long-term plan? If you know the cause and process and change the sequence, you can change the result.
‘It’s much more immediate, especially if you’re mentally focused.’
To put it worst, it was shallow brainwashing, and to put it better, it was effective consolation.
In fact, if the current world was the same as in his previous life, Lee Jae-heon would not have bothered to put an expression on his face. I would not have tried to use softer words and tone.
However, according to today’s common sense, the word ‘brainwashing’ did not have a good connotation. Rather, the word ‘comfort’ was better to hear, and while the former felt like a mad scientist, the latter seemed to have a sweet and thoughtful personality. It was a difference in perception.
‘Besides… honestly, I didn’t ruin a child with drugs, so this is just a simple consolation.’
And it’s still too early to look like a crazy person brainwashing others.
‘It’s something we can proceed with after joining the detectives.’
Until then, I had to maintain at least a vague image of a good person.
“….”
“Manager, how should I store this?”
“I don’t know… But since it’s a fruit, you should put it in the shade.”
What’s going on in my life?
Jaeheon Lee suddenly felt tired along with the question from the protagonist who wanted to spit out information. It was the fatigue that had always clung to my limbs since I came to the other side of the world.
“Oh man. “Is this fruit?”
“First of all, since it was picked from a tree, it must be a fruit.”
I also had this thought along with the feeling of despair that had slowly become a habit: ‘It’s hard to make a living.’
‘I’m going to die like this.’
It was because there were so many headaches.
Originally, the shelter should have been roughly built around this afternoon, but all the time was spent consoling the spirits of the group, and they couldn’t even talk about it. Dali Jeong seemed to have noticed it, but since he didn’t say it out loud, it seemed like he didn’t want to work right away.
‘Well, even if that’s not the case…’
Employee Yeonhee Kwon’s case was truly unexpected.
I thought there would be some basic stress that a chick living on a peaceful cushion would experience after being thrown out into the wild, but it was because Employee Kwon’s condition was worse than expected. Didn’t this happen even though I said I was taking care of where and what I was missing?
In addition, if you think about the guilt or disappointment he gave during the comforting that was not done in a hurry, it seems that Lee Jae-heon had a considerable sense of debt. I don’t understand why I suddenly felt such debt after having been doing well so far.
While he felt uncomfortable about his immediate plan being canceled, there was one more important thing for him to do.
‘If I dream this time, how can I wake up again?’
A lucid dream whose cause is unknown.
That was Jaeheon Lee’s biggest worry recently.
“…How about you take a break, sir? “It must not have been easy to move in that condition.”
“But didn’t he come back in good condition?”
“I don’t know how you can say something like that when you’re covered in blood.”
Doctor Ha Seong-yoon, who had suddenly returned to his usual self, patted his own front lip with a smile and continued speaking. The right answer was to leave it alone without touching it.
“Unless you want to escalate things.”
“…It’s really gross.”
When I said nice things to them, saying that they would look after me because I was vomiting blood without their knowledge, I meant to tell them to get some rest.
‘No one would know that, though.’
Lee Jae-heon sighed and sat down in a corner.
Although the clothes were in a very tattered state, the front part was clean. When I first vomited up the water from the dream lake, it wasn’t this dirty, so anyone with enough insight would have noticed that I had coughed up blood more than once in the meantime. While he was just pretending not to know, if doctor Ha Seong-yoon mentioned this, no one would ignore it.
As I thought about it, the situation felt even more serious.
‘This isn’t just sleepwalking. ‘If I just slept like I do now, I wouldn’t be dreaming.’
In addition, if the dream itself is vivid, it can be overlooked as if it is just that, but it is a different story when part of the dream appears in reality. Since this is a world where mental power has visible effects, has even dreams changed this much? Is that really the only reason? So why don’t other monsters appear in my dreams? Even when I thought about whether there was a case like this in the novel, it didn’t come to mind.
Is this because the crazy main character wasn’t properly described, or because it was a novel I read out of obligation and didn’t read it carefully and couldn’t remember, or because I read it but forgot, or because it wasn’t really meant to be in this world…. “
.. ..”
Lee Jae-heon glanced at Ha Seong-yoon, who was looking at the glass apple with calm eyes, and spoke as if nothing had happened.
“…Ah, the fire is getting weaker. “Someone tear up the box over there and put it in.”
“I will do it.”
Jaeheon Lee frowned vaguely as he watched Dayoung Park running towards the bonfire as if she had been waiting, but then straightened it again. It seemed like he had heard something from his younger brother, Park Da-hoon, as he was acting more irritably than expected.
‘…Or were you awake at dawn?’
In fact, it was strange that there was no guard standing in this situation. Since everyone was so tired and seemed to have lost their senses, I left it alone with the mindset of ‘just let it all go away’, but I was confident that Lee Jae-heon would wake up on his own if something went wrong. Everything was ruined because of the lucid dream.
Still, as long as you wake up from a lucid dream, it won’t be a problem since your sleep will be light…
‘There may have been someone who was awake.’
Lee Jae-heon is not the only one with sensitive nerves. Moreover, in the early morning, Jaeheon Lee was out of his mind due to the pain in his intestines for the first time in a long time. This meant that it was not impossible that someone had followed the detective and followed him and secretly heard the story.
Since he couldn’t even close his mouth at that, Lee Jae-heon blinked slowly and spoke.
“…Ok, thanks.”
“….”
At those words, student Park Da-young rolled her eyes here and there and wiggled her hands as if she was trying to find something to say, then bowed her head slightly and walked back to her younger brother at a brisk pace. The funny thing was that Park Da-hoon, the wall behind whom she was hiding, also could not make proper eye contact with Lee Jae-heon.
Lee Jae-heon, who once again felt strangely tired, resumed the thoughts he had just left off.
‘There is no suitable solution.’
This was the most fundamental problem.
I don’t know the identity of the lucid dreams I have at night. Did you have that dream because you fell asleep in the other world? Or because it was the first evening I experienced regression? So what is the reason?
‘It would be great if I could wake up at the right time like a normal dream…’
In any case, this world was a side world. A world influenced by the mind at 200%. Can it be said that such vivid lucid dreams in such a world are not influenced by the mind? If I just wait, will I be able to wake up right away if my body feels uncomfortable or an external stimulus comes in? Is it like that ordinary dream?
Jaeheon Lee predicted that the probability of that happening would be very low. There was no way I could be sure that if I just waited and woke up like that, a year would have passed and something like this wouldn’t happen.
‘The most urgent thing is how to wake up from a dream.’
It was something that could not be helped.
What is the cause of why I started dreaming like this and what can I do to stop dreaming?
As of now, Jaeheon Lee couldn’t be sure of anything. In any case, isn’t it urgent to deal with what’s right in front of you first? He had to decide in advance what he would do in the dream.
‘First of all, it makes no sense to wait at all.’
It would be nice if it could happen if I waited, but my intuition told me it wouldn’t happen that easily. In that case, it would be most certain that I would receive a great physical shock within the dream as I had done so far, but what was important was what I would decide.
‘Shock. ‘It’s shocking.’
These were very unfamiliar words to Lee Jae-heon.
In his previous life, he had the regenerative ability to not die immediately even if his head was blown off, but he died hundreds or thousands of times. As his body was weak in this life, his mind seemed to have become quite weak, but even so, Lee Jae-heon did not have much aversion to dying from physical shock. To that extent, I got used to it.
‘Then… should I hit my head on a tree? ‘Will I hold my breath until I die?’
However, for the former, I was afraid that my sleeping body would wake up and act like a woodpecker, as if I was really sleepwalking, and for the latter, I was afraid that my sleeping body would also stop breathing. I was also anxious about what the outcome would be if I died in my sleep. It’s not like I’m a lost child stuck between timelines like in a novel, damn it.
So, just like I had a similar worry before, the conclusion is definitely that I will die…
“….”
To be honest, I was annoyed at this point.
‘What kind of beat are you supposed to dance to?’
Isn’t it a ridiculous condition to be told to escape from a dream by thinking of death, which will have no effect on reality, when you know absolutely nothing? Even if he died in any case, it was only a matter of time before the current party would eventually find out about his condition.
Student Park Da-hoon had already caught him going out for a night out, and Detective Hong Gyeong-jun, who he met at that time, even witnessed blood flowing from Jae-heon Lee’s mouth and nose. Isn’t this a situation where someone might have been awake during the early hours of the morning?
What that means is,
‘It’s no longer possible to make people think I’m fine.’
To be honest, it was funny that blood came out of my mouth and I wasn’t a patient.
“Manager, are you very tired?”
“It’s okay.”
“…Ah yes….”
Lee Jae-heon glanced at Kwon Yeon-hee’s puffy eyes and avoided her gaze. Seeing him like that, she approached Kang Min-ah. It seemed like he was saying something, but Jaeheon Lee was just busy wrapping his head around it.
‘It’s a pain in the ass.’
Among the group, there was a man whose main profession was a doctor, and Detective Hong Gyeong-jun also went through a difficult process to get to his position, so there was no way he could have thought that Lee Jae-heon’s condition was normal. There are already a lot of external injuries.
In order to vomit blood in the first place, blood must be contained in the intestines. lungs, stomach, bronchi, etc. Unless they filled a syringe with blood and stabbed it into their intestines, they would have had to have suffered internal injuries to explain their current condition. Or suffer from a related disease.
‘Of course, if you insist that it’s an influence from the other side, it’s not something that can’t be ignored, but that’s a bit much.’
It was unreasonable in many different senses.
I wasn’t injured or sick, so I ended up being influenced by the other side of the world? So why doesn’t this happen to other people?
The only difference with the survivors is that Lee Jae-heon is a psychopath who cannot be compared to them, but in this case, his image as crazy only strengthened. In short, isn’t he a crazy person recognized by the underworld?
‘If things had gone according to the original plan, I might have welcomed that kind of reaction…’
Since I decided to change my route after meeting Detective Hong, I couldn’t be seen as a fool who exceeded my expectations. This means that even though he is mentally ill, it must be within an acceptable range, but the image of a crazy person recognized by the underworld did not belong to that category.
Therefore, as much as possible, the previous hemoptysis had to be attributed to an internal physical injury.
‘But… this is a bit like that too.’
How on earth can such an injury be plausibly explained?
It would have been difficult to explain Lee Jae-heon’s current condition if he had suffered internal injuries that caused him to cough up blood. If blood was contained in the intestines, there should have been at least an occasional act of spitting out blood, such as coughing intermittently due to physiological vomiting.
It is difficult for a human to squeeze out a cup of blood. It is even difficult to cause that much blood to bleed from the inside rather than the outside, and to keep that blood intact. If he had been vomiting blood to that point in the first place, the fact that Jaeheon Lee was able to walk on his own two feet is something that cannot be explained by modern medicine. At that point, it wouldn’t be strange at all if he died or fainted.
Unlike the novel, the inconvenience of having a medical expert in the party was that they couldn’t talk nonsense. Jaeheon Lee had to create a plausible cause and effect.
It was really a pain in the ass.
“….”
“Chief, would you like some water? “You haven’t had any water since you took that.”
“Uh… okay, thank you.”
“…Not much to say…”
Chief Kang returned to his seat with a puzzled expression upon Lee Jae-heon’s words, but Lee Jae-heon, who had a complicated mind, did not notice that. I just continued thinking after taking a few sips of water from the bottle.
Lee Jae-heon, who roughly passed the water, soon made up his mind.
‘The method of suicide remains drowning.’
That was the easiest choice.
Anyway, I was caught hemorrhaging blood by a detective who would join me later. It was only a matter of time before the party found out about it, so if he was going to look like an invalid, it would have been better to show him as he was.
I briefly stroked the corner of my mouth and thought.
‘If a completely new problem arises, it will be more shocking to the chicks.’
Problems like a guy who was sleeping well hitting his head on a tree as if he was sleepwalking or not breathing.
It is convenient for the original problem to be brought to the spotlight once again. How much of a headache would it be if another problem arose when the previous problem was not resolved? For Lee Jae-heon, it was difficult to explain various problems that had no solution in a plausible setting.
I don’t know how to avoid dreaming right now anyway. I don’t know how to wake up quietly without anything happening. If I was going to get hit in the end, I had to know the schedule in advance and prepare to get hit in the least painful way possible.
Nevertheless, the problem was not completely resolved.
‘How on earth to explain this blood is another question.’
Blood was able to casually explain the small amount of lake water that he initially spat out in front of his companions. All I had to do was say that there was a wound in my windpipe or that the nosebleed came out of my mouth, as was the previous excuse. It may not be a perfect explanation, but if you push it hard, people will nod their heads.
However, the amount of blood that Detective Hong saw was not that much. In his own words, he described it as ‘a bottle of mineral water.’ Jaeheon Lee had to wonder where on earth that much blood was flowing out of his body and for what reason.
In this case, the most probable case is….
“….”
Ah.
Green algae monster.
‘…Is there any possibility of putting aside one’s pride at this level?’
Lee Jae-heon was dragged away by the green algae monster during the evening, and he hasn’t told the story yet, so the group doesn’t know what he went through.
Incidentally, if the outside was so tattered, the inside couldn’t have been completely fine.
I subconsciously covered my mouth as if I was going to wipe it.
“….”
“Wow…! “This is so sweet!”
“…Ah, have you eaten already?”
Jaeheon Lee responded to Employee Kwon’s voice, which clearly seemed to be in a good mood. Hearing that excited voice, it seemed like he was making a conscious effort to cheer himself up.
He saw the sky slowly turning black and soon approached the group gathered at the bonfire.
“There was no adult sitting down, so we were all alone.”
“Chief, even my grandfather doesn’t say things like that.”
“Are you going to start a fight?”
The sky will soon be completely black.
There wasn’t too much going on, but it felt like things were becoming more and more twisted.
