Episode 392
If you think about it, Jaeheon Lee has never been angry.
Occasionally, he would frown, click his tongue, or yell, but no one could tell that he was sincere. Lee Jae-heon’s ‘sincerity’ was limited to the occasional blank gaze chasing the empty space or a tired, expressionless expression.
Use a light tone of speech, twist your face this way and that, raise your voice, or joke around so that people don’t feel distant from you.
Aside from his acting, he was basically a person with few emotional ups and downs.
“What the hell am I…!”
A face that looks as white as if it were crying like this.
I’ve never seen it before.
“What does my death have to do with Jeong In-ho?”
“Say that now…!”
“What difference will it make if I die? Nothing changes! “I am only one person and I can be consumed as much as I want!”
I wanted to get angry at something that didn’t make sense, but Lee Jae-heon’s betrayed voice came first.
“Exactly what number is this?”
“….”
At some point, In-ho Jeong stopped telling Jae-heon Lee, ‘Me and that person died several times.’ That was because it only stimulated Lee Jae-heon’s guilt and did not help the outcome in any way.
Lee Jae-heon, who found the answer in Jeong In-ho’s silence, let out a small, short breath. It seemed absurd and it seemed difficult to accept this situation. The dark gray gaze was fixed on Jeong In-ho and rarely left. In-ho Jeong did not avoid it.
“…but we can’t let the manager die.”
What I said to persuade Hong Gyeong-jun came out.
Whenever Jaeheon Lee looked at the swimming pool, he turned white as if he was reminded of his trauma. Nevertheless, although I did a good job of asking, I couldn’t believe that Lee Jae-heon’s death had not had its share of mental impact. Jeong In-ho did not raise him to the fourth floor if possible. It was a crazy idea to place Lee Jae-heon, who had the face of a corpse, near the swimming pool.
Jaeheon Lee, unaware of Jung Inho’s speed, spoke calmly.
“Whatever that is.”
“Every time something like this happens, I become disillusioned with the manager. I really…”
Jeong In-ho let out a breath that sounded like a lament.
Actually, I didn’t hate Lee Jae-heon. I was just disillusioned with this situation, which couldn’t see a proper ending unless someone, especially Lee Jae-heon, died.
“I’m like, right now…”
Still, I couldn’t stop blaming Lee Jae-heon.
After looking aimlessly at the musty tiles in the bathroom where he came in to talk with Lee Jae-heon, Jeong In-ho continued.
“Is that what you want to say to me now?”
“what?”
“I’m struggling because I don’t want to see the manager die, so what should I do if you blame me for that? You have no idea what problems will arise after the manager dies. So you keep acting like you’re already dead.”
How many times have I promised not to die, and how many times have I ended up dying? What is the reason for dying when you know that there will be people left behind after you die?
Jaeheon Lee seemed to feel betrayed by the fact that his original purpose of killing the final boss had changed and that he had hidden it. However, Jeong In-ho has already felt betrayed by Lee Jae-heon several times.
‘I said I wouldn’t die.’
I said I wouldn’t come forward blindly. He had promised so, but in the end, Lee Jae-heon turned his eyes to the death of another person and threw himself first.
“I feel trapped in a time called failure.”
Nevertheless, the reason why In-ho Jeong did not give up everything as he had shown in the previous garden was because he saw the possibility that Jae-heon Lee could survive even in such failure.
When Lee Jae-heon fell into the sinkhole, Jeong In-ho was confident that he would hear of his death. However, despite the many hardships and threats, Lee Jae-heon came back alive, and Jeong In-ho was not even needed in the process. Jaeheon Lee was a person who could survive any adversity.
“But it’s strange.”
Whenever I was with Jung In-ho, Lee Jae-heon died.
“At this point, I started to feel nauseous.”
Unlike before, instead of skepticism, anger rose.
Does God know the true nature of Jung In-ho and punish Lee Jae-heon for sin? It may sound absurd, but Jeong In-ho was so consumed by evil that he even thought about it in vain. It felt as if the world was whispering in my ear, ‘You can never be ordinary like everyone else.’
I was irritated to the core.
“Then what shall we do, Manager? Will we all return to reality with the manager dead? We always look at the manager who has become a mannequin in the company. In reality, there is no guarantee that if you die, you will return to the way you are now, and the probability is low. “Return is an ability that can only be granted in the other world.”
“Hey, Mr. Jeong In-ho.”
Jaeheon Lee was seen grinding his teeth.
“I was the one who should have died in the first place.”
“…Can you please just stop saying that? “My head hurts already.”
“Didn’t you get a rough idea? Now the main character is you, not me. There is no need for two main characters. That’s why my colleagues keep coming to kill me. Yes, that’s what God wants! “I hope for that too!!”
“Boss.”
“I know you don’t want me to die. So I tried to keep living. “He refrains from hurting my body as much as possible, and makes stupid faces out of fear of me being stressed out, and when he worries, I receive whatever he is worried about!”
“So are you asking me to kill you now? “Are you talking like that?”
“At least you shouldn’t have done something crazy like keep turning back time just because of me!”
Lee Jae-heon’s eyes were red, as if it was very difficult for him to accept that he had suffered so many regressions. He looked like he was going crazy because he was truly aggrieved and confused.
“I died because of that. “Did you just abandon the last episode because you were distracted by my death?”
“I didn’t abandon it…”
“No matter what, if you die, you can return, so it all seems like a joke, right? How many more people have died and how many more regressions have occurred because Mr. In-Ho Jeong is tied to me alone? Ha Seong-yoon I guess I didn’t even see him going crazy. “I don’t think you can see that the returnees are on the verge of crying because they are desperately trying to gather information and want to somehow kill the monster and return to reality!”
Lee Jae-heon gave meaning to things that In-ho Jeong was not paying attention to at all. If time goes back anyway, they won’t remember anything, so why bother?
Lee Jae-heon frowned and twisted his lips, as if he had realized Jeong In-ho’s intentions.
“Anyway, you think that as long as you succeed, you’ll be fine.”
“Is that wrong?”
“To some extent, that’s true. I also hope that you will succeed in escaping, and it is true that the probability increases as you return. That’s right. That’s true, but….”
“….”
“…But….”
As if the lips that had been pulled up with effort had reached their limit, the corners of the mouth that were quivering lowered and closed the mouth tightly.
Lee Jae-heon’s eyes were slightly shaken, as if he was unfamiliar with struggling with strong emotions for the first time in a long time. Soon his gaze turned downward. I could see him clumsily covering his face with both hands.
There was no sound of crying.
“…Did I ruin Jeong In-ho?”
However, Jung In-ho’s heart also sank at those words.
“…no.”
“….”
“No, it’s not like that.”
“I hope so.”
Jaeheon Lee removed his hands from his face.
“I’m starting to regret the time I spent living.”
His face was still dry.
There wasn’t a single tear and the blood had completely disappeared.
“I’m sorry if my attitude was… bad.”
Lee Jae-heon continued speaking as if making an appeal.
“…Yeah, I guess I was bad. Because In-ho Jeong is a rational person. “He’s a smart person.”
“…Boss.”
“But… then shouldn’t I do this?”
It was a voice filled with emotion.
“If you’re dying from exhaustion, please just rest. Don’t sprinkle ashes on the finished rice and tell it to rest. Who asked you to faithfully play the role of the main character? How many times have I told you to simply see it as an opportunity and a means to an end? “I said it was a right without obligation, and I never told you to shovel it in.”
Jeong In-ho was listening to him blankly.
“…I was seeing it as a means, but…”
“If you only saw it as a means, why are you making that face? Wasn’t In-ho Jeong the one who was distracted by the means? “Look in the mirror and see what kind of face you have right now.”
“I thought you had a normal face.”
“I don’t think you can see any sticky notes.”
Lee Jae-heon frowned slowly, as if the anger he had pushed away was coming back, and spoke as if he was chewing.
“If I had been used more actively, this would have been over quickly. Looking at the instructions given to the survivors, it seems like they already figured out how to kill the art teacher… didn’t they keep saying that? Why are you trying to take the long way back? “Why do you keep excluding me from important parts?”
“That’s because I don’t want the manager to die…”
“I understand your desire to take me back to reality with you. But this is a world where even if your limbs are blown off or your body is cut in half, you can survive with just your mental strength. “What we need to do is to use the tool called Lee Jae-heon more actively so as not to die.”
“How can I trust you, manager?”
“It seems like there was quite a bit of distrust between us.”
“It seems to have gotten bigger recently.”
mentality? Yes, that can happen.
Lee Jae-heon’s mental strength was a strength recognized by all survivors. Didn’t he show that strength several times in the park? Even though his legs were so damaged that he should not have been able to stand up, he was able to walk without any problems, and although he vomited blood profusely as if his internal organs were all damaged, it was only a temporary phenomenon, and even when his upper body was crushed by a green algae monster, he was able to breathe.
However, if you ask whether the current Lee Jae-heon can survive with his mental strength, well, no.
“…If that’s the case, you shouldn’t have died, Manager.”
“…Even if I die anyway…!”
“Then why do you act like you have no regrets in front of me, as if the rest of us are nothing… making it impossible for me to even make the right judgment. why. why.”
“….”
“There is something I heard from the manager while going back in time several times. I kept hearing those simple, selfish thoughts about your reckless sacrifice. Yes, you are really selfish. But even though I know that I will remember the death of a bastard like you again, I jump and jump and jump again… and die, and die, and die, over and over again.”
“….”
“You can’t do that.”
The reason why Jeong In-ho wanted to save Lee Jae-heon was valid. Lee Jae-heon was not a person who deserved to die so miserably. For the sake of his own and others’ mental health, Lee Jae-heon had to stay alive and return to reality together.
Of course, if you use Lee Jae-heon, killing the art teacher will be much easier. For some reason, he was obsessed with Lee Jae-heon, and Lee Jae-heon was a man of ability who had been in and out of the underworld many times. If we used him as bait and led him to the swimming pool, we would definitely be able to kill the monster. There was no need for other survivors to sweat and shed blood.
But in that case, Jaeheon Lee would definitely die. When he smelled the dark water and the taste, he stiffened as if it had been decided.
“Couldn’t you at least show your will to live?”
Even after seeing that, there was no way I wanted to use Lee Jae-heon.
“….”
“….”
Only after a while did Jaeheon Lee open his mouth.
“…Why shouldn’t we do that?”
that.
It didn’t look like he was hurt.
“why…?”
A question that resembles colorlessness.
“….”
It was as if all the sincere anger had subsided and only ashes remained. Lee Jae-heon’s muttering was calm and gentle, like the sound of water drops ringing in an empty cave.
So it looked more dangerous.
“I’m comfortable with that.”
“…Boss?”
“This is correct. “This is natural to me… but everyone looks at me like I’m crazy.”
He muttered like a sigh.
“And he’s crazy.”
It was the voice of a person who had not woken up from a dream but had fallen into the abyss of reality.
“I can’t help it because I’m crazy. I feel so comfortable with this. “I can’t remember a time when I didn’t act like this because it was convenient.”
“…It shouldn’t be that comfortable.”
“Well, if you were as cool-headed as some of your former colleagues, there would be more I could have done. “Jung In-ho also changes time and abandons people as he pleases, so why can’t I do the same?”
“….”
“But Mr. Jeong In-ho, I am no longer a regressor.”
Eyes mixed with fatigue and confusion looked straight at Jeong In-ho.
“I’m no different from those people over there who don’t know anything and just keep repeating it.”
He was pouring out his thoughts in confusion.
“This time, which In-ho Jeong can throw away at any time, is the present and the last for me. I hate to see these poor people get hurt, even though I know there’s another chance. I hate to see you die. Jeong In-ho probably feels the same way as me, but what can I do? I am very familiar with this method. He’s crazy… and a son of a bitch. “How can I be so kind?”
This was Lee Jae-heon’s sincerity.
A sincerity that you didn’t even know existed because you kept it so tightly hidden.
“You endured a lot. This is a good thing…” “
….”
“…Why is no one telling me that I did a good job…”
At that moment, In-ho Jeong felt like he had been hit on the head.
“…ah.”
It is only now that I realize that Jaeheon Lee has always done his ‘best’.
It was because I realized that he was not a god or a talisman, but just a broken human being.
(Continued in the next part)
