Episode 366
Ha Seong-yoon thought about this from the time he was locked in a study full of purple.
“…Will I die?”
Should I just die this time?
“I’m worried.”
Ha Seong-yoon’s face was calm as he said that.
For him, death was not that special. Of course, the deaths of my patients broke my heart, and seeing the people who died in the other world gave me an instinctive sense of sympathy, but it was still nothing special. For Ha Seong-yoon, death was something he naturally got used to even if he didn’t want to get used to it.
Sometimes, colleagues looked at Ha Seong-yoon as if they were disgusting. Like how can you sort out your emotions so quickly even though your patient is dead? However, Ha Seong-yoon’s eyes had already turned to the death of his parents. Death could not have been a big blow to him as he was crazy.
“….”
It was the same even if it meant his own death.
“…my eyes hurt.”
Ha Seong-yoon closed his eyes from the unbearable fatigue.
But closing my eyes did not bring peace.
In order to find a trace of his parents, he gave his precious doctor’s eye to the monster, and instead of being able to see traces that no one else could see, he lost pitch-black darkness. When he lowered his eyelids, his bright blue glass eyes continued to show him death.
I saw the memories of countless people who died here in room 1201.
‘…Are firefighters the only ones who don’t fall into the trap of ignition monsters? If it weren’t for Han Do-yoon, no one would have escaped from room 1201. We may have had to wait for other teams to come in and save us…’
Ha Seong-yoon figured out No. 1201’s system almost immediately upon arriving here. It was a form that could only be escaped through proper cooperation both inside and outside the picture. Without active action from both sides, they will be trapped in the picture forever and starve to death or burn to death.
Firefighters seemed to be the only ones who didn’t fall into that picture trap. Although the firefighter who previously entered room 1201 died in a fire like Han Do-yoon, unable to immediately figure out the rules, Ha Seong-yoon, who guessed the system through records other than those of previous survivors, was completely drained of energy.
If Ha Seong-yoon himself didn’t move, he couldn’t get out unless he killed the key ring monster.
“…flaw.”
You don’t have to go out.
“I feel like I’m going crazy.”
I felt like killing someone.
I’m not sure who that would be. Could it be his colleagues who would have appeared in the picture by now, or Lee Jae-heon, who always carries the traces of death, or himself, who has become a useless scum? Could it be God who imprisoned me here? And something else….
“….”
Who made me a ‘doctor’?
Ha Seong-yoon sat down at the purple desk in the middle of the study and looked blankly into space.
All you can see is death or a purple world. Sometimes it glowed red, other times it sparkled blue. Hallucinations that could not be called colors were mixed together and seeped into Ha Seong-yoon’s eyes like mud. It stirred the inside of my eyes slowly and heavily.
It was different from the burnout symptoms that In-ho Jeong felt.
“Damn it.”
Ha Seong-yoon was feeling suicidal.
“Why am I here? “What should I do… what should I do…”
I can’t continue my sentence, so I just keep talking nonsense.
I know suicide is stupid. Rather than commit suicide, it would be better to kill the person who made me want to die. Even though the human Ha Seong-yoon was abandoned, the doctor Ha Seong-yoon was full of pride. And now that pride was strangling me. I am disillusioned with the fact that it has gotten to this point, even though I know that I am a bastard who can do better on my own.
Lee Jae-heon was sacrificed. Yoon Garam was neglected. He was neither a good doctor nor a good adult. Still, I had no regrets. We had to return to reality and Jaeheon Lee said he would help us with that. Because you said so first. so.
“….”
Wouldn’t it be okay to die at least once?
“…Just once….”
By following my impulse and killing myself.
I wanted to get a chance to calm my mind.
“A little more…”
so that I can become a good doctor.
So that I can become a good person…
“….”
Ha Seong-yoon, who was muttering repeatedly, burst into laughter. It was a sarcastic laugh that was not typical of him.
“It won’t work.”
Even if he died here, instead of calming down, his mind would only be further broken, and Ha Seong-yoon knew that he couldn’t do that. I couldn’t be broken like Lee Jae-heon, who doesn’t care about my sacrifice or pain. A doctor should not be a patient.
Because I was a human, I wanted to die, and because I was a doctor, I had to live.
“It’s fun…”
In the end, Ha Seong-yoon needed help.
Kill me or save me.
“….”
Ha Seong-yoon silently placed his forehead on his clasped hands.
Revisiting the most carefree times of his childhood caused him unexpected confusion.
* * *
Meanwhile, unlike Ha Seong-yoon, who froze without even being able to do anything, Hong Gyeong-jun and Jeong In-ho were almost ready to leave. Even if you didn’t know the exact rules of this place, solving a few puzzles was easy enough with two competent people involved.
What was not easy was that two opposite people worked together. Jeong In-ho slowly spoke with his unique neat smile on his face.
“You’re doing a good job. “I don’t think I’ve ever been to an escape room cafe.”
I looked here and there, but I couldn’t find any motivation in Jeong In-ho, as I could hear in his voice. Hong Gyeong-jun felt a surge of annoyance as he looked at the relaxed figure as if it didn’t matter what happened.
“I’ve been there for work.”
“Then why on earth do you usually do that? “I think the manager is very anxious that he might die.”
“It’s been so long since I wasted my time here. “I don’t think Lee Jae-heon or Kim Yeon-woo are dead, but they need to get out quickly.”
“When you see a situation like that, people usually say it’s ruined, right?”
How can it be so annoying?
Hong Gyeong-jun growled in a sarcastic voice.
“I know too, so shut up, Jeong In-ho. Do you think I’m solving a puzzle because I don’t know I’m in a mess? “I’m still going crazy because I can’t really understand anything, so please stop bothering me.”
“It’s easier to give up.”
“Don’t be a dick, just search harder and see what you find.”
“They say it’s easier to give up.”
“….”
Hong Gyeong-jun bit his lip.
Anyway, Jeong In-ho calmly walked through the burning room and unlocked the drawer with the number he had just figured out. He held up a key that was shining golden inside.
“Oh, the key came out. I guess I just need to find something I can open with this.”
“…Mr. Jeong In-ho.”
“Say yes.”
“….”
With both hands on the table. Hong Gyeong-jun, who was tapping his fingers on the table nervously or impatiently, asked after a moment of silence.
“Aren’t you worried about Lee Jae-heon?”
“I’m worried.”
“What about Kim Yeon-woo?”
“I’m worried.”
“I don’t think it’s a lie.”
“I have always been truthful.”
“A truly dangerous seed.”
“Is that still the case?”
“Mr. Jeong In-ho is a dangerous person.”
Hong Gyeong-jun continued speaking with Jeong In-ho still behind him.
“I lack empathy. Even if you say you’re worried, it doesn’t seem like you’re used to that feeling. “When we feel frustrated, anxious, or experience relational discomfort, we are immature in how to resolve it.”
“I don’t know anything else, but I don’t want to be criticized by Detective Hong for my personal relationship.”
“Jung In-ho likes Kim Yeon-woo.”
“….”
Jeong In-ho looked at Hong Gyeong-jun with a sour expression.
“You have a knack for saying strange things, Detective.”
“…I wasn’t talking about liking in an erotic sense.”
“Yes, that’s right.”
Jeong In-ho said, looking away from Hong Gyeong-jun’s back.
“I like Kim Yeon-woo as a person.”
“I like it on a human level.”
“Then did it seem like you wanted me to be in a relationship with Kim Yeon-woo?”
“You don’t like Kim Yeon-woo as a person. “It’s like putting your favorite book out of a large bookshelf out of reach because you don’t feel like taking it out… That’s how you just look at it.”
“….”
“You don’t deny this.”
As if he had gained some confidence, Hong Gyeong-jun closed his eyes as if he was in pain. He dropped his hand that was on the table and wiped his face.
“Have you ever cared for someone in your life?”
Hong Gyeong-jun was calculating something.
“Have you ever loved someone? I won’t ask you about your family life as this is a sensitive topic for everyone. But from what I see, In-ho Jeong, even though you admire goodness, you don’t know how to follow it. To be precise, it’s closer to trying to feel the need to be good.”
“….”
“What do you think is correct? How did you come to your conclusion about justice? What perspective did you want to look at this crowded world? Mr. Inho Jeong is emotionally immature at making the right choices. It’s always been like that. “You knew you needed good, but you didn’t feel proud of it.”
“….”
“It would have been better if no one was by Jeong In-ho’s side. “If it weren’t for Ha Sung-yoon, Lee Jae-heon, or even Kim Yeon-woo, I wouldn’t have been so anxious.”
Jeong In-ho, who had been quiet for a long time, opened his mouth.
“I’m having a hard time talking today.”
“I think it’s because I’m anxious.”
“Are you anxious?”
“And ominous.”
“Then would you like to calm down?”
“It seems difficult.”
“Um…”
Jeong In-ho continued.
“Why did you think that?”
“What.”
“There should be no one next to me.”
“….”
Hong Gyeong-jun, who was tapping his fingers while resting his hand on the table, answered.
“That way, I would have followed the line even out of a sense of duty.”
“…I?”
“…I think it probably was.”
Hong Gyeong-jun spoke again.
“You long for goodness and know its necessity. Mr. Jeong In-ho, who is insensitive to the emotional side, seemed to have a weak obsessive-compulsive disorder in that area.”
“is that so?”
“At least when we first met.”
“….”
“At that time, In-ho Jeong was very bad at relying on others and perhaps because he was more comfortable being alone, he seemed to have a sense of duty to take responsibility, lead and protect someone.”
Hong Gyeong-jun’s voice grew louder.
Jung In-ho, whom no one trusted, gave off a dangerous atmosphere that Hong Kyung-jun could not get close to. Jet-black eyes without a single ray of light and a smile as straight as a doll. A dangerous molecule like a crow that had interactions with people, but preferred to loiter around rather than form more than a moderate relationship. That was the Jung In-ho of the past.
However, as he began to trust and rely on people, one by one, starting with Lee Jae-heon, Jeong In-ho’s expression changed. His eyes, which were as black as paper, were filled with vivid emotions, and his smile, which was shiny like a machine, was overflowing with life. I thought that someone who had something to rely on could change that much.
I was amazed and anxious.
“…Did you want to see me struggle? Did you want to see me become so miserable, seeing everything I couldn’t see in the distance? “I will only do good deeds if there is no one to support me?”
“Yes, I thought so.”
“You mean to fight?”
Hong Gyeong-jun, who had been keeping his back turned, turned and looked at Jeong In-ho.
He was glaring at Jeong In-ho.
“You know that good is necessary, but you do not feel proud. When you feel tired, exhausted, burdened by the weight of your burden, and run away from reality, like now, what you feel will be disillusionment. Disillusionment leads to regret and makes people crazy. “If people like you go crazy in a world like this, the ones who get hurt and die are the citizens I have to protect…!”
“….”
“So I was on guard. I am still on guard. There was never a single moment when I wasn’t wary of In-ho Jeong. Why? Every time I see you, an alarm bell goes off in my head. That thing will kill someone someday. “It’s going to hurt me and make me sick, so I have to stop it before it happens!”
Jeong In-ho rolled his eyes and smiled at Hong Gyeong-jun’s excited face.
“Am I not someone who needs to be protected?”
“no.”
“…oh.”
Jeong In-ho asked, his smile gone.
“then?”
“…He is the one who needs to be protected. “It’s not right to force and oppress someone who has not committed or planned a crime just because I feel dangerous…” “That’s the truth, to the point where it’s annoying.
”
“That’s how I learned it. So, even though I am an asshole, I feel a sense of responsibility to protect Mr. Jung In-ho while being wary of him. We weren’t at first, but now we feel like colleagues. “I’ve seen you get desperate in front of your precious people time and time again, and I’ve seen you break down despite your efforts.”
“…I didn’t know you would evaluate me that way.”
Jeong In-ho smiled awkwardly, as if he didn’t know what expression to make.
This situation, where the person who had been scolding and pushing me until just now suddenly referred to me as a ‘colleague’ was so absurd and ridiculous… I felt relieved.
The two fell silent for a moment. Jeong In-ho and Hong Gyeong-jun both needed time to organize their thoughts. People who were accustomed to following reason rather than emotion welcomed the silence that came.
“….”
“….”
Jeong In-ho was the first to open his mouth.
“…Detective.”
“yes.”
“I don’t think you’re doing this because you want to fight me while the room is burning.”
“I even wanted to fight.”
“What do you want to say to me?”
Jeong In-ho looked into Hong Gyeong-jun’s eyes.
“What were you sure about?”
“….”
“…I’m out of my mind, so I think I’ll let it out now.”
“That’s good.”
Hong Gyeong-jun asked.
“What on earth do you believe and act so confidently?”
“Are you arguing?”
“Do you understand now?”
Jeong In-ho laughed as he heard back what he said when he was locked in the room.
“You speak in a fun way.”
“I’m not having fun.”
“It seems so.”
“I need an answer.”
“….”
“Before I go crazy and start to doubt, guard, and oppress all my colleagues… I need to be sure. Do you understand?”
“…Please ask a more specific question.”
“….”
“Detective Hong Gyeong-jun?”
At Jeong In-ho’s urging, Hong Gyeong-jun hesitated and opened his mouth. It’s as if he feels like a crazy person saying these things and has a hard time getting the words out.
“What I want to ask is…”
“Yes.”
“….”
Hong Gyeong-jun, who hesitated for a while, asked.
“What on earth do you believe in and what do you keep to yourself…” “
….”
“Can you give up like that?”
Hong Gyeong-jun asked with confidence, even though he felt disillusioned with himself for asking such a question.
“Act like you have another opportunity.”
Maybe it was a plea.
A desperate plea to be given a chance.
“Ah…”
I tried to hide it further.
“It’s shameful.”
Suddenly, Jeong In-ho felt a little creepy about this situation.
It’s as if someone pushed my back and urged me to spit out the truth… and that’s exactly what happened.
(Continued in the next part)
