Episode 345
And of course, Jeong In-ho burst into anger.
“Are you crazy?!”
He grabbed the back of his neck when he saw Lee Jae-heon and Ha Seong-yoon and Yoon Gar-ram looking at me blankly.
‘You were collecting medicine from the pharmacy without telling other survivors.’
It wasn’t something Jung In-ho, who had been out of his mind, would say, but what on earth were these crazy people doing without others knowing?
“Why do you decide that on your own…! Why did Mr. Garam Yoon keep his mouth shut again?!”
“It’s too bad Garam was bought by us a long time ago. “Give up, Assistant Manager Jeong.”
“Holy shit I asked a stupid question. Garam Yoon would have followed the two people’s opinions because
he liked them…” Garam Yoon said with a soft smile.
“What are you saying? If I don’t trust these two people, then who can I trust?”
“This is probably a situation where there is no one you can communicate with.”
Jeong In-ho felt an indescribable sense of guilt.
‘What happened while I was distracted?’
There were many reasons why he had been sober for so long. First of all, he was so tired that he couldn’t survive without being dazed, monsters couldn’t enter the garden, so there was no need for the survivors to be on high alert, and even if Jeong In-ho himself didn’t care, he was relieved because there were many people who were good at their work.
Moreover, I had no idea that Ha Seong-yoon would go along with Lee Jae-heon’s crazy actions.
“Are you out of your mind, Ha Seong-yoon…? Is this really true? Is that really true?”
“I know it’s not true, but in a way it’s true.”
“If the manager is divided on the basis of that ‘certain meaning,’ then what’s the use?”
“Revival of a poor doctor who is about to go crazy?”
“Wait a minute, who do you feel sorry for?”
“At least it has meaning in preventing a terrible situation that would occur if I go crazy.”
“Are you a bomb about to explode?”
“I’m so glad you found out now, Jeong In-ho.”
“….”
Jeong In-ho closed his mouth.
“…That…”
To be honest, Jeong In-ho, who had been out of his mind, had no right to say anything.
Even now, after hearing Lee Jae-heon and Ha Seong-yoon’s confessions of conscience, In-ho Jeong still has no motivation to resolve this situation.
‘How do I solve this?’
The moment I had that thought.
‘Do I have to solve it?’
This leads to the thought:
Inho Jeong’s recent condition was explained in the two sentences above. When I reflexively think about solving a problem, the troublesome things that will happen in the process immediately come to mind, and past failures hold me back and eat away at my brain. When I took on a task, the tiring process and the result of failure anyway filled my head and I couldn’t shake off the lethargy.
“….”
In the end, Lee Jae-heon will die again in a place where Jeong In-ho cannot see.
“Deputy Jeong.”
At that time, Jaeheon Lee spoke up.
“I’m really fine.”
The absurdity and anger that rose up for a moment overcame the lethargy that had bound my body.
“yes?”
“There’s nothing to look at with such a bitter expression, right? No, just. “There’s no need to worry about it.”
“…Are you saying that?”
“I’m not going to the pharmacy anymore anyway.”
“I can’t believe it.”
“I had no choice but to go this time because of the plaster monster… I already saved up a lot, so Ha Seong-yoon said it would be okay for me too. “This won’t happen again, so don’t feel uncomfortable.”
“How big of a deal must you have done to save up so much? Ha Seong-yoon was not seriously injured, so the most he could do was a strength recovery drug, and the manager would have taken care of the rest. “This isn’t something that can be done by telling people not to feel uncomfortable.”
“Don’t worry, I’m not doing it anymore?”
“Ha…”
“You seem a little excited.”
“….”
Lee Jae-heon was right.
‘…I didn’t know that saying it’s okay would sound so disgusting.’
As soon as he heard ‘It’s okay’ from that calm and shameless face again, Jeong In-ho felt the back of his neck getting hot. It was his fault that he kept talking even though he had no right to say anything, as he had done nothing and only made the survivors feel bad. Jeong In-ho couldn’t hear Lee Jae-heon’s words ‘It’s okay’ straight away.
That’s right, even before Lee Jae-heon died, even before Jeong In-ho died, even when he prayed for his death instead of him…
“It’s okay.”
“….”
“It’s an injury that won’t get better anyway, so it’s good to take advantage of it like this.”
“…Really bullshit….”
“Uh-huh, you don’t believe me?”
The image of Lee Jae-heon, who had become a plaster monster, overlapped with the man in front of me.
“It’s really okay.”
“Boss.”
“It didn’t hurt that much.”
A clear voice floats into my ear, as if a piece of glass were digging into my ear.
‘It’s okay, it doesn’t hurt.’
‘Run away.’
‘Because it’s a monster anyway.’
“….”
At that moment, my breath caught.
“…Why…”
We obviously die and come back to life and live in a new time, but why are we hearing the same words as before? I couldn’t understand why Lee Jae-heon was saying the same thing back then.
Ultimately, it is the starting point.
“….”
“…Um, what….”
Lee Jae-heon, who was wiping the corners of his mouth, continued.
“I wanted to say that I wasn’t overdoing anything.”
“…I guess so.”
“Looking at Jeong In-ho’s expression, it doesn’t seem like he thinks so… Anyway, I’m sorry if I surprised you. However, I could not tell this plan to Jeong In-ho, who was in a daze.”
“That is correct.”
“I keep talking, but it’s okay.”
“yes.”
“you also.”
“….”
As Jeong In-ho closed his mouth, Lee Jae-heon continued speaking with a calm face.
“No one has anything to say about taking a break.”
“…is that so.”
“Oh, except Ha Seong-yoon. “Please stop mistreating Mr. Jeong In-ho.”
Ha Seong-yoon smiled softly at Lee Jae-heon’s words and naturally avoided eye contact. No matter how much he thought about Jeong In-ho’s behavior, who had been living without his senses, he seemed to be unhappy, but even at this moment, he couldn’t shake off his helplessness and couldn’t blame Ha Seong-yoon.
I’m sure it’s sad and annoying that they had an accident, but that’s right.
“…sorry.”
But what can I do?
Jeong In-ho was afraid of the failure that lay ahead of him. Lee Jae-heon, who will die before I can see him, and the life I will let go of because of him, am scared.
“There’s nothing to be sorry about. “I’m sorry for not telling you in advance…”
“No. “I didn’t do anything well either.”
“….”
When Lee Jae-heon closed his mouth, Ha Seong-yoon, who had been quietly watching the two, spoke.
“It looks like the situation has been roughly resolved, so we’ll be leaving now.”
“I’m sorry for the accident, Jeong In-ho.”
Ha Seong-yoon and Yoon Gar-ram naturally left the simple building with identical faces, and in the end, only Lee Jae-heon and Jeong In-ho remained in the room.
“….”
Jeong In-ho couldn’t understand what on earth I wanted to do.
Did they want to blame Lee Jae-heon for shedding blood again without people knowing? Did you want to reprimand Ha Seong-yoon and Yoon Gar-ram for going along with his plan despite knowing that Lee Jae-heon was a victim? Or maybe I wanted to meet face to face and have a more honest conversation like this and say, ‘Can you please stop?’
‘…Stupid bastard.’
Ultimately, it is the starting point. Ultimately, it is the starting point. Ultimately, it is the starting point. Ultimately, it is the starting point. I returned to the same spot again. The same situation happened.
No matter what Jung In-ho does, it has no value and there is no change whatsoever. In the place where you struggle, only muddy water remains, like a swarm of insects.
As I was thinking about that, I heard Lee Jae-heon sigh.
“Inho.”
“….”
“It’s not wrong to run away.”
Jeong In-ho raised his head and looked at Lee Jae-heon.
“You just didn’t want me to get sick. Even though it was hectic and difficult, I wanted to fix the accident caused by this crazy bastard Lee Jae-heon. But when I looked at it, I realized I didn’t have the resources to do that.”
“…That…”
“With that alone, you have come a long way. “I can’t say that’s enough because I’m not you, but that doesn’t mean what you’ve done is gone.”
“….”
“It is the same even if the time when the dead person was alive disappears.”
Lee Jae-heon continued speaking while leaning his back against the wall.
“Even if no one remembers… it remains with you in the end.”
Jeong In-ho was just blankly listening to Lee Jae-heon’s story.
“At first I thought you were a colder, more inhumane bastard.”
“…are you looking at me like that?”
“I thought it would be like that, at least for ‘Director Jaeheon Lee.’ You know, our relationship was very bad. I don’t blame you for that, because that was my intention… but there was a big difference between the way In-ho Jeong looked at me and the way the other employees looked at me. “No matter how much of a bastard your boss is, it’s not easy to just ignore and despise his/her rank and environment, right?”
“Are you scolding me?”
“As I said before, I’m not blaming you or scolding you. “I’m just talking about how I saw Jeong In-ho.”
Jaeheon Lee laughed lowly.
“So I thought I could throw it away too.”
“…No matter how bad my personality is, I don’t abandon people.”
“It’s a different story in the other world. “At the slightest conflict, we try to kill each other, I wish that person I had a bad relationship with would die instead of me, and I hate someone so much that I go crazy. I thought that would be the case with In-ho Jeong.”
“….”
“But it held up better than I thought?”
There was a hint of playfulness in his voice.
“Jung In-ho has a strong sense of responsibility. I have a yearning for goodness and try to protect it. “I can’t stand feeling sorry for myself, but I’m having a hard time experiencing all kinds of confusion in the other world.”
“…that me. Boss.”
“Sorry.”
Soon the playfulness subsided.
“I’m sorry.”
“….”
“…I wish I had been a little more careful.”
“…What could you have been more cautious about?”
“It’s because I feel like I’ve put an excessive burden on Mr. Jeong In-ho.”
Jaeheon Lee blinked his eyes slowly.
“That position is Inho. There is no need to remember and change everything. It’s just that you were given that opportunity, it’s not your responsibility. That’s how I and the noblemen above me lived, so there’s no need for you to live like that. “We were a little greedy…”
“Greedy.”
“Yes, not responsibility… but greed.”
Jeong In-ho saw that Lee Jae-heon’s eyes were bright gray.
“The fact that you became the main character is a simple situation and there is no need to think deeply about it. There’s no need to blame yourself for not having an umbrella when it rains. There is no need to blame natural disasters. Do you understand?”
“….”
“If it’s really hard, I’ll come back again….”
Lee Jae-heon, who was saying something, trailed off and leaned his head back.
He continued speaking as naturally as if he had not said anything just now.
“I don’t overdo it.”
“…You do it.”
“Then he had the greed to do so, unlike you.”
“Boss.”
“Don’t think of my pain as some kind of noble sacrifice. I think I think it’s a dog that I don’t hear. “All my actions are ultimately driven by my greed.”
“But it hurt for us.”
“You don’t have to feel guilty about me being an asshole.”
Jaeheon Lee smiled faintly.
“Thank you, though.”
“…What…”
“Thank you for being so concerned.”
“….”
“…Thank you for your effort.”
He said, getting up from his seat.
“I just feel like I’ve never said thank you.”
Jaeheon Lee finished speaking in passing and went out of the simple building.
“….”
Jeong In-ho, who was left alone, blinked his eyes.
‘If it’s really hard, I’ll come back again…’
Jeong In-ho seemed to know what Lee Jae-heon wanted to say.
And for a moment, Jeong In-ho was hoping that Lee Jae-heon would do the same. Even though I couldn’t hear the exact words, even briefly. It was just like that. It was irresponsible.
“…Thank you.”
He muttered softly.
Do I really deserve Jaeheon Lee’s gratitude?
(Continued in the next part)
