Episode 325
Park Da-hoon’s explanation wasn’t that long.
‘Actually, to summarize, there’s nothing particularly long about it.’
The speaker, Park Da-hoon, spoke so rambling that I had no choice but to summarize.
Sensing something ominous, he went up the mountain behind and found that everyone except Munsan-gun was dead, and even Park Da-young was presumed to have committed suicide. It is said that Park Da-hoon, who had already suffered a mental breakdown, killed Munsan-gun in order to return, then went to the garden and killed Azalea and two kindergarten students.
“So I’ll go there…”
“I think we can go there.”
“….”
“I understand enough.”
In the end, he probably committed suicide.
‘Like Dayoung Park.’
In the last episode, the context didn’t seem to be much different whether Park Da-young committed suicide or Park Da-hoon chose that ending. Thanks to her younger brother, Park Da-young knew that she would return when she died, and Park Da-hoon only focused on the condition that everyone, even the ‘last survivor,’ had to die.
‘If that’s the case, I’m not sure if Park Da-young and the other survivors, who actually have no memory of the previous episode, can be seen as the same people as the previous episode… Is this thought because I can’t shake off the culture of my past life?’
Since this is a world where death occurs only once, what was important in the world of past lives was the mind, not the body. The reason identity was judged based on the presence or absence of memory was probably due to the inability to break away from the way of thinking of the previous world.
‘…ah.’
Lee Jae-heon wiped the corner of his mouth as his stream of consciousness once again diverted to another path.
“I understand for now.”
“…I…”
“I think it’s okay.”
“….”
“I’m saying this sincerely, so please believe me.”
Except for the fact that Park Da-hoon’s mentality was weak, there didn’t seem to be any problems.
‘It is true that everyone had to die in order to return anyway… That doesn’t mean that any of the people Park Da-hoon killed remembers that time, so there won’t be any resentment.’
Even if it comes to mind, Munsan-gun is a person who can’t even blame Song In-myeong, and Jindal-rae is also indifferent to himself, so he won’t care much, and the two kids may be a little scared, but if you yell at them a few times, they will easily get over it. They have dozens of screws missing. It was okay. If you think about the aftermath, there is no problem at all.
‘Honestly, wasn’t that a good thing?’
If the team members from the previous life had been in the same conditions and situations, they would have naturally killed the other surviving members. Wouldn’t that give us time to manage personnel again and sort out the situation? This was much more efficient because it meant going back to the way it was before the work started, making up for lost opportunities. Considering their performance, it was advantageous to kill everyone and even commit suicide until the last survivor.
“….”
That’s right.
‘I forgot that I shouldn’t praise something like this.’
I forgot for a moment, but ‘Lee Jae-heon’ was a person who valued ethics in his own way. Ethics and morals in this world were very old-fashioned and frustrating concepts for Lee Jae-heon, who remembered his past life, but based on this soft world, Lee Jae-heon himself was such an asshole. It was necessary to be careful so that the chicks did not feel unreasonable rejection.
Park Da-hoon, who looked pale, perhaps uneasy about the silence that followed because he had spent a bit of time thinking, and Park Da-young, who was also fidgety, secretly called to him.
“Hey man…”
“…Ah.”
As if he had only just realized that the children in front of him were anxious, he let out an exclamation and immediately put an apologetic look on his face. Even though I spent more time distracting myself these days, I still had the ability to act this lightly.
“I’m sorry I have a lot to think about.”
“…No, rather, I… I’m sorry.”
“There is no need to apologize for sounding like everyone is dying.”
“But I killed someone…”
“I said it’s okay.”
I thought it might have turned out to be a decent chick, but it turned out to be a damp chick, as it was just born and wasn’t even soft. It’s like a newborn baby whose fur hasn’t even dried.
“Of course, I’m not saying that murder was a good thing.”
In this case, it would be better for the other person’s mind and body to scold them, even if only mildly. In fact, Park Da-hoon is so clever that he is very good at self-justification if he gets support from outside, but if he keeps saying it’s okay, people ask, ‘Is that just empty talk?’ He doubted it, but in the end, he was someone who wouldn’t really believe what Jaeheon Lee said.
“You probably already know that murder is something that cannot be forgiven. It is an outrageous sin to artificially end a life that only has one chance. It’s the same with murder….”
“….”
“It’s the same with dying with one’s own hands.”
When I turned my gaze from Da-Hoon Park to Da-Young Park, I saw his head drooping. Since he was a very spirited child and had no memory of it, he probably wasn’t actually sorry, but it seemed like he was pretending to reflect.
‘But the important thing is not to be too harsh here.’
I sympathized with those two because they were blaming themselves, but that doesn’t mean we should dismiss that as a complete fact. The reason he agreed to the Park siblings’ self-blame was to break their stubbornness and get into it, not because he really thought they were bad.
‘What’s wrong with only killing a few people…’
Lee Jae-heon continued after a pause.
“…But you also know that I have no right to blame you for this, right?”
‘Lee Jae-heon’ sighed as he saw the two of them slowly raising their heads. It was a sigh of frustration rather than anger or disappointment at Park Da-hoon’s sin or Park Da-young’s mistake.
“It is natural to value life, but I am not an honorable person who can scold you. “I don’t know what kind of great person you think I am, but you should know that I am not as good a person as you expect.”
“Ah, uncle… but…”
“It’s been over 10 years since I lasted in the other side of the world.”
He looked dry and tired.
“Have I never killed someone before?”
The words were said in a heavy, self-blaming way, pretending to be calm, but I knew that the Park siblings would actually like these words. In direct contrast to their pale, anxious faces, I was able to see the siblings whose eyes were shining for a moment.
‘That’s disgusting for a chick.’
Even in a situation like this, we can pretend to be innocent and say, ‘We don’t know anything.’ As expected, in the original work, they were like the Park siblings who survived by maintaining their selfishness for a long time.
Lee Jae-heon continued speaking as if he did not know what these two were up to.
“If you have a history of murder, I have one too. Suicide? I have no emotion anymore. “There are still many things I haven’t told you or other survivors… but I have experienced more than you can imagine.”
“….”
“Of course, I am in no way advocating murder, but if you want to get scolded, go find another adult. I can never scold you or disappoint you. Regardless of ethics or morality, I no longer feel the need to do so. “We’ve come too far for that.”
“…Uncle….”
“I don’t even know why I have to say this….”
I could feel the Park siblings internally cheering at those words.
‘They can’t help but be happy because they say they will never be disappointed in themselves.’
Having said this, no matter how much ‘Lee Jae-heon’ said out of self-reproach, the Park siblings will eventually take a more active role in the future. Even if they hurt someone or even kill someone, Jaeheon Lee would never blame them if it was for the sake of the survivor team.
‘It can’t be better than this because it means that I can’t even just verbally blame you, but that I’m truly not disappointed.’
For the Park siblings, who were very lacking in affection, not only were they able to avoid an immediate crisis, but their future was guaranteed. Even if other adults may be uncomfortable with the Park siblings, the most ideal ‘adult’ for them is Lee Jae-heon, so they could not care much about other people’s opinions.
“…I’m sorry I’m not as good an adult as I thought.”
But you shouldn’t go there.
“…So all I can do is… worry.”
“…Who should I call?”
“Because you are still young.”
If you think it’s a warning, show your concern first so that they don’t feel rejected. The Park siblings had to be careful in this area because their trust in adults had been through the bottom for a long time.
“Even if it’s me, you have more… opportunities. “I know that the more time I spend in this world, the more crazy I will become, but it is also true that the longer it is delayed, the better.”
“…We’re okay.”
“I’m doing this because if it’s okay, it shouldn’t be. It’s not okay, really. What do you think the average lifespan of survivors in the underworld is? Even among survivors who never enter the underworld again, there are many who become distraught and commit suicide after a single experience. “It’s natural to be worried about you in the behind-the-scenes world that has such a big impact on individuals.”
“But if you want to hold on… there’s nothing you can do.”
“That is correct. That’s true, but it doesn’t have to be that way.”
He made an awkward expression, as if he was so tired that he couldn’t hide his worries.
“…You just…”
“….”
“…Haa…”
The Park siblings’ shoulders trembled as they covered their faces with their hands and sighed. I don’t know if that was a calculated action, but at least he would have known that ‘Lee Jae-heon is feeling great sadness over the actions of the Park siblings that he said he did in the last episode.’
As he remained silent like that, the Park siblings watched him. I was grateful that he worried about us so much, but at the same time, I felt sorry that he had made my heart heavy.
“Oh man….”
“I’m sorry. sorry.”
Apologizing without even meaning to.
‘It seems they have already finished rationalizing themselves.’
For a group of guys who had been on the edge of their seats for several days, the change in attitude was so quick that even Lee Jae-heon was surprised.
To summarize, ‘Huh? You say it’s okay? Are you the same as us? It’s a mentality of ‘Then we didn’t do anything wrong, right?’
‘Since Lee Jae-heon shows such concern, he may not be able to ostracize other adults or commit a crime outright, but at least he can act more efficiently within the secret world. ‘It’s not a bad result.’
Did you say that a crisis is an opportunity? Lee Jae-heon, who had the opportunity to raise the wet chick to the middle chick again, made a firm determination. I’m going to make these chicks of mine act as people.
“….”
However, I am a little worried about division among the team members as it is….
‘It would be better to at least make them feel guilty.’
Lee Jae-heon, who removed his hands from his face and looked at the siblings acting like someone who had worked hard to control his facial expressions, noticed that Park Da-hoon and Park Da-young were looking timid. It may not be 100%, but it was a pretty funny situation for Lee Jae-heon, who knew that at least 70% of it was acting.
“…sorry.”
“what.”
“We…”
Yes, since they are such clever people, we had to prevent a situation from becoming difficult to manage.
‘If this side evolves in a strange direction like Kang Min-ah later, it will be a headache.’
Among the employees in my previous life, there were often people like that. These are problem children whose damp fur, if left to dry, evolves into a pigeon or a rainbow bird instead of a well-grown chicken. It was too risky to keep those guys in my hands and it made Lee Jae-heon’s head pound. If something like that were to happen to the Park siblings, I would inevitably lament, so it was better to prevent the danger in advance.
Lee Jae-heon continued by saying, ‘I’m not particularly qualified to speak, and I don’t know if this is necessary, but I’m worried about you, so I’m making a suggestion.’
“…Azalea from Munsan-gun and two kindergarten students… Is that correct?”
“yes yes.”
“….”
And in fact, the fact that they were able to rationalize it so quickly after harming the three adults and the elderly who cared for them meant that the Park siblings were quite unique even in this soft world.
‘No matter how much you don’t feel like you did it, it’s still unique.’
If it were a case like Ha Seong-yoon where you only see it, Lee Jae-heon would probably do the same, but Park Da-hoon was an intermediate case between Ha Seong-yoon and Jeong In-ho, who completely regressed. He felt anxious about trying to shake off the guilt as quickly as he was now, so he had to keep this in mind at the beginning.
Jaeheon Lee continued speaking with a bit of anxiety.
“…Then please help those people more.”
“…Ah…”
“Even though it is true that you did not kill him and that he is no longer there, the sin does not disappear as long as there are people who remember what happened then. At least that’s what I think.”
“….”
Park Da-hoon’s expression, which had been lively, slowly hardened, perhaps because he felt embarrassed and guilty for rationalizing it so quickly. Seeing that, Jaeheon Lee felt a little relieved.
‘Yes, that’s right. ‘The other side of the world must have been at fault as well.’
Since the underworld specializes in making people more emotional or impulsive, I may have been overly immersed in the excitement of being able to escape the weight of guilt. They are not as naive as they are quick-witted, but they still have a bit of innocence left in them, so it was good to be careful about their every word.
“The good thing about this kind of regression is that it gives the person involved an opportunity to apologize.”
“…Shall I apologize?”
“More later.”
“….”
“It’s not as crowded as it is now, but it’s more leisurely. “When everyone finds out everything… it would be better to apologize then. It is difficult to express appropriate sincerity in the atonement made in the other world.”
“What is appropriate sincerity?”
Jaeheon Lee, who was fiddling with his mouth, answered that question.
“An apology from someone who has committed a crime should not contain emotion.”
“….”
“People don’t know about that, but….”
Lee Jae-heon’s face showed a hint of fatigue.
“Because it’s a bigger sin.”
(Continued in the next part)
