Episode 24
His consideration was overly selfish.
* * *
Jeong In-ho is very suspicious.
That wasn’t that strange.
As an adult, you should know how to navigate the path ahead on your own, and Jeong In-ho, who has a lot of quirks in his nature, has always received the harsh looks of many.
In order for him to play his part as a member of society, he had to put in a lot of effort.
I changed my values. I changed my behavior. I fixed my expression.
He liked other people’s affection, but he was also suspicious, so observing others became a habit.
As a result, I realized the losses and gains hidden in affection, and created my own norms accordingly.
Be suspicious, but don’t show it. Even if you don’t believe in the goodness of humans, let’s accept affection obediently.
Jeong In-ho, who went through a confusing adolescence, began to put on his sincere exterior.
To him, Manager Lee Jae-heon was of a race that was difficult to understand.
‘Why waste useless emotions?’
Waste of emotions.
In his own way, Jeong In-ho loved efficient things, to the point that if Lee Jae-heon himself heard this word, he would tremble and say it was ‘gross.’
In his view, there was no one who was as inefficient and unlikable as Director Lee Jae-heon.
In-ho Jeong disliked Director Jae-heon Lee on a human level.
It would be nice if he could realize the worthlessness of the other person and ignore them, but Lee Jae-heon was too wealthy to just turn his head away.
I had too much money, too much mental space, and too much emotion to spend arbitrarily.
No matter how much I hated it, I couldn’t completely ignore Director Lee Jae-heon.
He was, as they say, an old man and a parachute.
In other words, even though he had a dirty personality, he was my superior, and this would have been the same even if Lee Jae-heon had not been a ‘manager’.
In any case, Jeong In-ho, who managed to rise to the position of assistant manager of a large company, could not go against Manager Lee Jae-heon’s wishes.
Of course, whenever he had the chance, he did something that was annoying several times, but apart from that, he was unable to look at Director Lee Jae-heon on an equal level.
So I hated it. Jeong In-ho felt an instinctive discomfort that went beyond being worthless and pathetic.
Even though he just smiled awkwardly when his co-workers unanimously enjoyed talking behind the manager’s back, In-ho Jeong clearly hated Manager Jae-heon Lee.
For a very long time.
However, he couldn’t remember when it started, and Jeong In-ho didn’t find it strange.
Well, you don’t need that many reasons to dislike people.
And at some point, I started to think it was strange.
“…Deputy Jeong?”
“…Oh, Manager.”
When Manager Lee Jae-heon appears in a place he shouldn’t be.
“Uh uh. okay. for a moment.”
“Oh yes….”
“Did Assistant Manager Jeong live here? “Okay, just wait a moment.”
When he saves a child from no one else and calls an ambulance in a hurry. When I paid no attention to the bottle of alcohol I bought with my own money and the broken watch on my wrist. When human life was more important than expensive alcohol and watches.
In response, In-ho Jeong began to reflect on why I hated Director Jae-heon Lee.
“….”
In the midst of the confusion, he looked around, pretending to be calm.
The neighborhood where Jeong In-ho lives is what is commonly called an undeveloped area.
The cement floor was all swollen. A street tree with roots sticking out. A broken bump with only traces left.
It’s definitely old and worn out here and there, but there’s no benefit to doing anything about it, so it’s an area that’s only slightly better than Daldongne, which is managed just enough to allow people to live there.
No matter how much alcohol he buys, why did Manager Lee Jae-heon come all the way here?
If I knew his personality, I wouldn’t have even looked at his expensive car for fear of getting a scratch on it.
Perhaps the very existence of this village was disgusting or pitiful, and they ignored it and eventually erased it from their memories.
Nevertheless, Manager Lee Jae-heon came to this run-down neighborhood and saved the child, throwing away the alcohol that seemed to be the reason he had come here.
Unlike his usual appearance of screaming at the slightest scratch, he didn’t even pay attention to the shattered watch. It seemed like he didn’t recognize it at all.
‘…blood.’
This is because blood, which is nothing else, is soaking his arm, but even that is not mentioned.
At that time, In-ho Jeong rewrote the values of others for the first time.
The watches that Director Lee Jae-heon collected were all expensive and sturdy, but nothing compared to the rough, unmaintained cement floor.
If he just fell, all kinds of sand and stone fragments would dig into his wounds and cause pain, but there was no way Manager Lee Jae-heon was okay, as he fell backwards with the weight of the child he was holding.
His palms were a mess of various foreign substances and freshly leaked blood.
The glass of the watch must have been hit by a protruding stone and broke and became lodged in the hands and wrists. It was so bad that most people would frown because they could not see with their eyes open.
It wasn’t a very serious wound, but it was a minor but cruel sight that would evoke sympathy.
Lee Jae-heon took off the bandage on his arm and looked at the driver who hit the car, wondering when he had been injured.
Jeong In-ho, who was nearby, caught a faint glance at the driver, but Lee Jae-heon’s gaze was incongruously calm and did not show any anger or resentment.
I don’t know why, but even though the alcohol that I valued so much that I came here, the watch that I cherished so much that I would scream if it got even a scratch, and the body that I cherished more than anything were injured.
Jaeheon Lee was silent in all that pain.
‘why?’
My head hurt from all the questions.
He hated pain so much that he jumped at the slightest scratch on the paper.
When did you get injured in the first place? Was the wound severe enough to require a bandage rather than anything else? Why is there no reaction even when the wound opens again?
I looked at Manager Lee Jae-heon for a series of questions, but no answer came out.
And when he finally dragged me to a secluded place, In-ho Jeong could no longer swallow his doubts.
“Don’t go anywhere and tell me what I did today.”
why?
What you did was a good thing in my eyes, not anyone else’s.
No matter how much I thought about it, it was strange. It was strange that he threw away his watch and alcohol to save a child in the first place, and it was also strange that he was so embarrassed and quickly called an ambulance.
Putting all of this aside, aren’t you a person who is more than proud of your own achievements?
Why is it that a person who was condescending about trivial things when he was at work is actually holding back in a situation like now where he needs to be confident?
“Do you understand? “You know it gets annoying when you get strange calls from drivers or parents later, right?”
“Ah… what if this is a strange communication…?”
“Why are you acting innocent? Who knows, they might demand compensation for damage just because they touched it for no reason.”
I couldn’t understand at all.
‘That’s an excuse.’
Jeong In-ho, who was very suspicious, realized that Manager Lee Jae-heon was making excuses.
Of course, he was perceptive and felt a slight distrust of humanity in the manager’s gaze, but even though he was an old man and a parachute, he was not a very stupid person.
Rather, as much as he showed great talent for tightrope walking, wasn’t he at least good at calculating profits? It was ridiculous to talk about compensation for damages now.
“Okay, okay. I’m sorry for nagging you on your day off. “You know I’m saying this with all my thoughts in mind, right?”
“Of course, Manager. “I am listening to everything carefully.”
“I’m going to work tomorrow, but I got cursed at. Assistant Manager Jeong also goes in carefully…”
“Manager.”
Speech, voice, gaze.
Everything was surprisingly similar to Lee Jae-heon’s past, but Jeong In-ho could no longer swallow his doubts as the blood dripped through his covered sleeves.
Lee Jae-heon blinked at the call that clearly had some intention.
“what.”
“When did you hurt your arm?”
“….”
Director Lee Jae-heon remained silent in response to the valid question.
“…I had to go to the hospital yesterday because I got scratched by a protruding nail.”
I made another excuse.
A moment of hesitation. Jeong In-ho noticed it and also vaguely realized its meaning.
He felt that his voice was a little paler than before.
He heard a voice that literally turned white as if the blood was draining from the skin.
In response to Jeong In-ho’s question, Manager Lee Jae-heon suddenly showed a side that was not visible to others and quickly hid it.
From that expert duplicity, Jeong In-ho was able to figure out one absurd fact.
That person, Director Lee Jae-heon, was used to pain.
‘So…’
Why?
“…Oh my god, a nail? “I don’t want the wound to get worse.”
“That’s right… Well, I’m not lucky anyway. “Yesterday and today were just a mess.”
Why are you accustomed to pain?
They exchanged words calmly, but Jeong In-ho could clearly feel it.
Everything up until now has been Lee Jae-heon’s pure acting, not funny excuses. It was a lie that didn’t work.
Inho Jeong’s judgment became more certain as we talked.
“…Oh, the watch is broken.”
“….”
“I was so distracted that I didn’t even notice that my hand was hurt.”
The voice calmed down. The warmth in my gaze disappeared.
Jeong In-ho had already observed too much to not notice that person acting inorganically, even if only for a moment.
Manager Lee Jae-heon asked him again. Force an answer.
“yes?”
“…okay.”
You make a living by acting too.
It was a moment when cheap guesses took on the guise of certainty.
In-ho Jeong worked hard to turn his guess into certainty, but he couldn’t figure out exactly what it was.
From what he found out, Manager Lee Jae-heon was an overly flexible person.
Sometimes it was light enough to fly, and sometimes it was heavy enough to sink.
At times, he seemed short-thinking, like a person who views the world very simply, and at other times, he seemed deep in thought about everything, like a person who had all his worries and confusion.
After wondering how people could be so heartless, I became kind in just one moment.
To put it bluntly, Lee Jae-heon was the type of person Jung In-ho had never seen before. It was the same when I only saw him as ‘Manager Lee Jae-heon’, but questions that were completely different from the confusion until now were slowly eating away at my brain like a centipede.
The whisper made my insides tremble and I heard tinnitus.
Is my current motion sickness due to falling into this damn colorless world, or is it because of Lee Jae-heon himself, who resembles such a colorless color?
Jeong In-ho, who had lost his composure, decided that he could no longer be defined.
Nevertheless, whenever we lose our senses, we see Manager Lee Jae-heon coming back with injuries one by one…
“…You son of a bitch.”
It was so complicated that it made me angry.
In the end, Jeong In-ho returned to the group as Lee Jae-heon had expected.
There was no other way.
It was too dark to follow Director Lee Jae-heon, who had no idea where he was taken.
I had a lighter, but it wasn’t enough to light the way, and more than anything, I wasn’t sure that I would be able to save him even if I found him.
Jeong In-ho’s stamina was already depleted after running and walking all day, so he would be lucky if he didn’t become prey to the monster.
Of course, it was the same for Director Lee Jae-heon.
‘No, it’s actually worse.’
The monsters had no intention of doing anything to him, so they burned and tore his legs, and Director Lee Jae-heon willingly accepted them and moved on his own.
It was a wonderful sight even for Jeong In-ho, who was cynical about everything. However, even though this is a world where one has the power to move with just one’s mental power, in the case of Director Lee Jae-heon, no matter how much he thought about it, he had reached his limit.
How long can such a person last against such a large monster?
But I couldn’t help it.
There was no time or confidence to turn back time, and as Director Lee Jae-heon said, the only person who could protect the group now that he was gone was In-ho Jeong.
Moreover….
“….”
Manager Lee Jae-heon clearly said, ‘Let’s talk again after I wake up.’
“…I won’t die.”
It was a promise of sorts, and even when he was dragged away, Director Lee Jae-heon did not utter a word of apology.
There was a degree of thinking that it was simply due to his bad personality.
I decided that he would not be so evil that he would go to death without even a single apology after putting people at ease.
Unless Manager Lee Jae-heon is a devil or something.
No matter how much I thought about it, I didn’t think that Director Lee Jae-heon would be able to come back alive after getting to that point, but still.
Wasn’t Manager Lee Jae-heon still alive and well when he committed such crazy acts?
Even though he was taken away without saying whether he would return or not, Jeong In-ho thought he would come back alive.
To be more precise, I decided to think that way.
“….”
Jeong In-ho approached the crackling bonfire.
“Oh, Mr. Inho. “Are you here?”
“yes.”
Jeong In-ho nodded at Director Kang’s words as he called me.
A heavy feeling of fatigue took hold and pressed hard on his throat, but Jeong In-ho was barely able to speak.
Seeing him like that, Chief Kang opened his eyes a little wider.
The group’s gaze is cleverly divided to look for someone. The siblings were looking at Jeong In-ho with slightly furrowed brows.
After a brief or long period of time, Director Kang Min-ah, who was close to him, spoke.
“…Mr. Inho.”
“yes.”
“That manager…? “Where…”
She spoke very cautiously, but her eyes trembled with anxiety.
“….”
What was contained there was loss.
In-ho Jeong felt that Manager Jae-heon Lee’s value had increased in less than a day.
That’s right, aren’t even the people who usually talk bad about him this worried?
Whatever Director Lee Jae-heon was hiding, it was proof that his nature was useful.
As he thought about his boss’s duplicity, he suddenly couldn’t remember how I usually laughed.
Should I have smiled a little more innocently? Or did he show a light gesture? Maybe he just shrugged his shoulders in a not-so-funny way.
Jeong In-ho felt that he was getting tired quickly.
I once again had the absurd feeling that the colorless world was sucking the brain inside my skull, and I could hear the sound of blood dripping in my ear. I could hear the sounds of alcohol bottles breaking and watch glass breaking on the uneven cement floor.
In the end, Jeong In-ho gave up his calm appearance and just let out a sigh and laughed.
“You were dragged away.”
I couldn’t say anything else other than that.
If it had been Director Lee Jae-heon who was here instead of me, he would have come up with a more plausible excuse. He must have shown skillful acting as he has done so far.
Jeong In-ho couldn’t tell what kind of expression I was making.
“…yes?”
“I was dragged by a toothy vine.”
It seemed like he didn’t have the courage to tell a lie, even in such a situation.
‘Are you sure he won’t die?’
That can’t be possible.
I decided to think that way, but I couldn’t shake off my emotions just by deciding.
Even if you try to think about it, the hallucinations won’t go away.
The bright red death that appeared in my mind to the point of being boring, the colorless gaze, the pale voice, the dripping blood, and the sound of clocks and bottles breaking disturbed my head and interrupted my lie. I could hear a child crying and the sound of a broken engine.
The faces of his companions turned pale one by one through his calm gaze, and as they did so, their otherwise normal voices began to crack harshly and flow out, as if they were stuck somewhere.
“I don’t know where you were taken.”
“….”
“…I don’t know.”
Puzzle, surprise, despair, astonishment, fear.
Numerous emotions passed over the colorful faces, but the most impressive thing was the two students in school uniform who Director Lee Jae-heon had personally brought into the group.
Those two little ones in black school uniforms.
The emotion faintly revealed on their faces was clear resentment.
“…You were dragged away?”
“Did you get dragged away?”
A hardened voice.
Hands holding tightly. Distorted eyebrows and trembling pupils as if anxious.
Beneath the basic courtesy overlaid, there was anger towards ‘Assistant Manager Jeong In-ho, who allowed Director Lee Jae-heon to be dragged away.’
The accusatory gaze that he pretended not to be pierced his insides as he collapsed from fatigue.
Jeong In-ho felt an inexplicable disgust at this, but he was too weak to cry and too scared to laugh, so he just twisted his lips.
I feel frustrated, as if the ashes left over from burning trees in a forest fire are blocking my throat.
Suddenly I wanted to spit it out.
“…It’s my fault.”
It’s your fault.
“It was dark, so I was distracted for a moment…”
“….”
“I didn’t even see the vines tied to his legs.”
Because of your mistake, Director Lee Jae-heon died at that time.
‘It’s because of you.’
Jeong In-ho laughed at his own thought and twisted his lips, unable to laugh or cry.
Because of its nature to cling to the strong. The cleverness of not trusting people but wanting to borrow their power.
Lee Jae-heon, who was trying to save his group at all costs, probably died because of his foolish behavior of pretending to be weak by turning his youth into a weapon. Kang Min-ah must have died when intern Noh Yeon-seok died.
As Jaeheon Lee expected at the company, someone’s death brings resentment among those who survived.
Since the resentment cannot be directed at the dead person, it is directed at the living person, and the resentment held by the living person is directed at another person, and as far away as possible, if not at the person himself.
In order not to collapse, they look for someone to pass on their sins to.
It’s an amazing story, but it’s a cruel and immature story about Jeong In-ho, who tried to uphold good standards for the weak even if he couldn’t do it all along.
He found someone to blame, and the target was a minor brother and sister, and he was not willing to deny it.
To Jeong In-ho, they were like enemies he could not accept.
“sorry.”
“…Mr. Inho.”
“sorry.”
“No, no….”
Beatle.
Director Kang Min-ah stood up with a tearful voice.
Director Kang, who had spent the longest time with him, quickly walked over and took him in his arms.
Then, the hand that slowly patted him was trembling but gentle, and the faces of my co-workers behind him did not contain any resentment.
There was only sadness and hesitation.
Jeong In-ho didn’t have the confidence to check the faces of anyone other than him, so he raised his hand and hugged Chief Kang.
My bloody, swollen fingertips touched my dusty suit.
After taking a moment to catch my breath,
“….”
I felt a calm warmth within the faint cold.
Although it was a contact between people of the opposite sex, it didn’t feel the slightest bit of sexuality, just a comforting hand that could be shown because they were human.
The consideration that can be shown because they know each other’s humanity was tinged at the end.
Jeong In-ho closed his eyes as he looked at Director Kang’s fragile voice that kept soothing him as if he was talking to himself, the sad group who looked at us with all kinds of emotions, and the bonfire that swayed and illuminated them.
I closed my eyes and let out a deep sigh.
“I’m sorry…”
No tears came out.
‘Because no one died.’
So, when the sun rises.
After this terrible darkness recedes and a colorless white sky appears like a picture.
If you see Director Lee Jae-heon’s body with your own two eyes intact without relying on a bonfire or lighter. If you confirm that death.
“It’s okay, it’s okay.”
“….”
“It’s going to be okay….”
Only then did I try to cry.
Even in the face of death, it was too difficult to bear it like it is now.
* * *
“Huh, huh…”
Lee Jae-heon, who was exhausted from running and was leaning against a tree to catch his breath, blinked at a thought that suddenly occurred to him.
“….”
You’re not fighting because I’m not there, right?
‘I’m too worried about the chicks fighting to say no.’
Strangely, the siblings were dependent on Lee Jae-heon, and of course I liked that kind of subtlety, but a part of me felt uneasy as I remembered the strange battle of wits they had with the main character.
Isn’t this what it felt like to abandon a child by the water’s edge?
Lee Jae-heon, who hesitated for a moment and expressed his confusion, checked the clump of vines he had been chasing to see how long he had rested, and then started moving his feet again. He had a pipe firmly held in one hand.
Lee Jae-heon cursed at the terrible smell of blood.
“…I’m going crazy.”
Have I got to this point and have to raise children?
really?
