Episode 196
It was already known that Lee Jae-heon was not in good condition.
‘I guess that person is at his limit too.’
In the last episode, Jang Seo-ah looked at Lee Jae-heon and called him a zombie. Even from a child’s intuitive perspective, it meant that Lee Jae-heon’s physical condition was that bad.
Even if it wasn’t a physical factor, the problem was a problem. After being taken away by the green algae monster, Lee Jae-heon often confessed that he felt an uncontrollable urge to kill, and he always dreamed that he had to die from the green algae monster to wake up. Although he seemed to be holding it in well, there were times when he showed irrational behavior. At first, I could see that he was trying to control himself, but now he had reached a level where he couldn’t even recognize it.
‘In that state, it served as bait for the green algae monster…’
I expected that no matter how well I hit it, it wouldn’t be sane.
But that doesn’t mean I wanted to hear this story.
“babe.”
“….”
“…Look at me. huh?”
I didn’t want to see it like this.
“Honey, I’m calling you….”
It was an unfamiliar voice.
Before being surprised by the title, Jeong In-ho was startled by the soft and affectionate voice that he had never thought could come from the mouth of a person named Lee Jae-heon. With just a few short words, it was seen how much Lee Jae-heon cares and loves the person he sees as nothing.
“…Ah….”
Jaeheon Lee was looking at the green algae monster.
‘Was it structured like this?’
Perhaps the green algae monster had the knack of becoming someone’s precious person.
President Choi Jeong-man, who lost his son Choi Min-hong, went on a rampage like a monster. Jeong In-ho didn’t know what exactly he saw and felt that made his face distort like a vicious demon instead of its usual docile expression, but looking at Lee Jae-heon now, he seemed to know. They were seeing their loved ones in the green algae monster.
That was quite a shocking story even for Jung In-ho.
“Are you mad because I pretended not to know? Then I apologize. I’m sorry. sorry. But fuck, I need to think about my position as well.”
“….”
“When did you say you wanted to live longer?”
“…Boss.”
“What if you, and no one else… save me…”
Lee Jae-heon must have also had someone precious to him and someone he loved.
“He died like that in front of my eyes…”
There must have been people who died in front of his eyes.
“What if you die like that? “Then how can I live?”
In the end, Lee Jae-heon would have been the one who stayed like that.
Those times piled up and created a person named ‘Lee Jae-heon’, but Jung In-ho forgot about it for a while. It was just that it felt like this person fell from the sky at some point. It was a reminder that Jaeheon Lee was also human.
One day, I remembered what Jaeheon Lee said. There is a kind of motivation behind the scenes. Lee Jae-heon was the only one among his classmates to survive and joined all the survivors, including the next rider, Jeong In-ho. That ultimately meant that everyone who survived with Lee Jae-heon died. I’ve been going through this since I was young, so it must have been multiple times, not just once.
How miserable that would be. Would it be possible to live through something like that multiple times?
“I just…”
“…Manager.”
“I wanted to die with you.”
He should have been angry and asked why he would think such a ridiculous idea, but Jung In-ho couldn’t bear it. Even though the green algae monster was right in front of them, they felt like they couldn’t say anything or move.
“I wanted to live with you guys….”
I wanted to live with ‘you guys’.
“….”
Lee Jae-heon was also a person who could think like that.
“…I want to live….”
He was a person who could live while envisioning a future rather than death.
Jeong In-ho suddenly felt confused and made a bewildered expression without realizing it. My heart dropped as if I had heard something I shouldn’t have heard, and the hand that was holding Lee Jae-heon’s shoulder no longer had any strength. I didn’t know what to do with the other side of the person I regarded as a talisman.
Jaeheon Lee also had someone he loved. There were people I wanted to live with. But in the end, everyone who was around him died, and his lover, who was the only one who survived, ended his life. I don’t know what the order was, but at least I could tell that Lee Jae-heon survived alone and continued to live his life.
So why?
“…Ha….”
“….”
“…They say I really did something so wrong.”
Why has this person stayed alive until now?
If Jung In-ho had been in the same situation as Lee Jae-heon, I honestly wouldn’t say it was a good idea, but he would have committed suicide nonetheless. If it meant that all the people I cared about would die and I would end up entering this damn world with new people, it would have been better for me to die.
But why? Is there any need to live like an old manager and get criticized? Even though I would have to be dragged back to the other side and witness someone else’s death anyway?
“…Boss. “Wake up, if this goes on…”
“Was I that bad?” “I also wanted to have a good time with everyone when they die.”
“Boss…!”
Was there a reason you had to stay alive?
“What is a predetermined fate, what is a lifespan, what the fuck…”
“….”
“I don’t know when I started to feel so responsible and stay alive like this. Why are you saying I shouldn’t die, huh? What more should I do? Please talk to me, someone please talk to me….”
A predetermined fate and lifespan. responsibility. You must not die.
“….”
Jeong In-ho recalled the things he had heard and seen.
Ha Seong-yoon said that it was one police officer who made Lee Jae-heon like this. He told me that there was a main character in this world and that it was Jeong In-ho. Jeong In-ho had a role to play, and this was being passed down in the behind-the-scenes world as if it were a genealogy.
Last time, In-ho Jeong took on all of Jae-heon Lee’s injuries and shared the auditory hallucinations he heard. The voice said to me and to Lee Jae-heon, ‘He doesn’t die easily.’ Lee Jae-heon believed that he should suffer and be sacrificed in someone’s place. Everyone around him died and he was the only one left.
That’s how Jaeheon Lee met Inho Jeong.
“…Fuck really.”
Lee Jae-heon forcefully pushed Jeong In-ho, who was trying to help him up.
“….”
Jeong In-ho had no strength to endure as he stretched out his hand and dropped it, so he was pushed away. I wanted to say something, but nothing came out. So I took a step or two back.
Jaeheon Lee spoke to the green algae monster about something inside it.
“If you made that face… you shouldn’t be held responsible.”
Even though the green algae monster approached Lee Jae-heon, Jeong In-ho could not move.
I could feel the presence of people running towards me from afar. They must have been the ones who returned the survivors they encountered while looking for Lee Jae-heon and returned to the pavilion. Kang Min-ah, Noh Yeon-seok, Kwon Yeon-hee…. The impatient voices of people Jung In-ho knew well were heard, but Jung In-ho’s mind was just blank.
“….”
The green algae monster that had been dragging Jiik’s feet calmly bent down and made eye contact with Lee Jae-heon. Although it was a monster without eyes, I thought that the eyes of the green algae monster and Lee Jae-heon met each other. Perhaps it wasn’t just his illusion.
Lee Jae-heon’s neck, which had been spotted by the vines it had pushed out, was ripped off with a sharp crack.
“…I love you too.”
Only then did I come to my senses. Perhaps Lee Jae-heon is the person who lost everything he loved….
“….”
The main character.
Could it have been…?
“ah…?”
Have you ever had a time like me?
* * *
“…So…”
“….”
“Are you saying that In-ho Jeong died and returned to the past?”
“…I think so, yes.”
“So, people who should have died originally are alive….”
“Because I tried to do something. “I wanted to change it somehow.”
Lee Jae-heon was silent after hearing Jeong In-ho’s confession.
“….”
Was that really the reaction of someone hearing such a wild story for the first time?
I couldn’t remember the expression.
* * *
‘I didn’t plan on telling you this far.’
Lee Jae-heon, who was struggling to hold on to his senses, muttered inwardly.
I had a very rough guess that it would turn out like this. To be precise, it was something that Ha Seong-yoon had guessed since the misunderstanding in the previous episode that he made a big mistake about. They thought that there was something absurd about the genealogy passed down from generation to generation in the hidden world, and they mistakenly thought that Lee Jae-heon’s past life was a senior just above ‘Lee Jae-heon’.
Moreover, Jaeheon Lee even said unrealistic things about it, such as saying that he was the main character and that the world chose him. Although it may not be certain, there was enough room to judge that ‘Lee Jae-heon’ had also experienced the regression that he had experienced, as ‘Lee Jae-heon’ could be considered a senior just above Jeong In-ho.
‘That doesn’t mean you can go back now, though.’
Of course, it is still true that there is regression, but it didn’t really matter because we were just going to push it with the setting of ‘generations were transferred and the regression ability was transferred to the main character.’
Then, this would explain why Jae-heon Lee has endured without committing suicide and why he has played the role of an old man manager. Until now, he had been living because he was semi-forced to not die, and acting as an old man manager was an image created so that there would be no problem with dying for the next generation. According to Ha Seong-yoon and Jeong In-ho’s illusions, an unknown police officer would have corrected ‘Lee Jae-heon’ to behave that way.
Crunch-.
“….”
Thinking about it again, there really are a lot of people in the world with good imagination.
“…Ugh.”
Blood came out from inside. I couldn’t tell where exactly it came from.
‘How many minutes have passed?’
Even if it hadn’t been like this, he would have been able to visually see how much time had passed, but unfortunately, right now, Jaeheon Lee was focusing all his strength on not losing his mind from the surging pain.
If Lee Jae-heon completely accepted death here, his already damaged body would not be able to endure any longer and he would die. As he has always done, the reason Lee Jae-heon is alive is simply because he is putting his life on the line with his exceptional mental strength. However, if he died here, Jeong In-ho would regress once more, let alone Lee Jae-heon.
‘That won’t work.’
Didn’t they come this far in the first place because they didn’t want to ruin the main character’s mind any further and wanted to end it all at once? If you return now to die, you will be neither porridge nor rice. Jaeheon Lee worked hard to strengthen his fading consciousness.
The sight before my eyes was so disgusting that it irritated me.
“―….”
“….”
It seemed like he was saying something, but there was no way I could understand what the monster was saying. In fact, even if someone spoke, I couldn’t understand it.
The green algae monster climbed on top of me and planted vines everywhere. A vine protruding from somewhere on the monster’s body dug into the skin with its small but dense teeth and drew out blood like a needle. Lee Jae-heon couldn’t even take a breath due to his greed, breaking his muscles and damaging his blood vessels to fill his stomach. My brain burned white from the extreme pain.
Beep- I hear this tinnitus.
“…Ugh huh.”
Even my vision was consumed in silence by the foreign object digging into my eyeball.
“….”
Then I suddenly remembered the first time I faced death.
I was curious about that when I was young. If I die now, what effect will it have? We will eventually come back to life, but is it true that we have a soul? Where on earth do people who face complete death go? What is so urgent that life is dying, and what is so fair that it makes the remaining people cry several times.
I don’t know anything.
“Boss.”
I really didn’t know anything.
“Manager, manager….”
“….”
“…I’m sorry.”
This must be an auditory hallucination.
“We can do better.”
It was probably an auditory hallucination.
It is said that people’s fear comes from the unknown, but among all the smart people in the world, both in the past and present, none have figured out exactly what death is. At least that’s what I know.
Even when I was young and became an adult, I sometimes asked the air. When the vitality of the body ceases and the soul escapes, is it called death? So, is there an afterlife they can go to? What about heaven? What about hell? Or is it possible to gain new life by drinking the water of oblivion?
No one knows anything about death.
“Still, I hope you don’t die…”
“….”
“I wish you did…”
Those who have faced complete death throw themselves into a pitch-black pit from which no one has ever returned. People don’t even try to find out for themselves because they know that if they go into that hole, they can’t come back. What results it will bring and how it will affect me. And that’s because we have no idea what’s going on behind the scenes.
It was because I didn’t know the end.
“Ha…”
All the deaths I remember had no effect on my life.
The only empty spot they left was left watching over me. Will I become like that someday? I was very sad and broke down and cried like an animal. If I leave with a nail stuck inside my throat, will I be left with a strange void?
I don’t know.
“Why is everyone trying to kill themselves?…”
“….”
I just don’t know everything, but I feel like I’m going crazy from the pain and unfairness.
no. How can a person hurt so much just because he or she is a little broken? No, it hurts so much now that I don’t even know it hurts. no no. Perhaps a doctor somewhere watching this common death gave him an anesthetic?
The fishy water seeping out of my throat was so thick it blocked my breathing. One eyelid fluttered as if tape had been put on it, but it wouldn’t open, and my twisted limbs were trembling as I didn’t know where on earth they were bent. I couldn’t tell if it was because he was in pain or because he was as weak as when he first died. A feeling that is familiar but I don’t want to get used to it covers me like a small snake.
This unfamiliar twisting engulfed my body, but soon the last remaining hearing contained the sound of someone crying.
“Hehehe, manager. Ugh… I’m the manager…!”
She seemed as maddened by this situation as I was.
My head became cloudy and complicated.
“…Stop….”
Okay, okay.
Now that I think about it, where are all our kids?
Was it only Jeong In-ho who arrived? No, no, no. Then you make us so miserable. How delicate and delicate our chicks are. If I go like this, how much I will lament and cry.
If I die like this, wouldn’t those left behind be harsh on Jeong In-ho? On the other hand, wouldn’t Jung In-ho resent the late chicks? No matter how sick I was, we were always together, but I wonder if that empty feeling of waking up every day and seeing my empty space is a good thing. These innocent, good chicks will lament my death, as they have done throughout time. How sad I will cry over the loss of even the voice I used to hear.
I have seen many deaths, but I have never seen my own death through the eyes of others, so I had no idea whether these subtle things would soon be forgotten by those I would never meet again and those I would leave behind. I didn’t want my current breakup to have too much of an impact like the death I experienced.
“No, no, this is not possible. No ah….”
“… Manager. Manager… Manager.”
ah.
This is Garam Yoon.
“…Why are you trying to die….”
How could that calm person break down like this?
“Can you hear me…? Can you hear my voice? Can you see me? huh?”
“Get out of the way, boss, get out of the way, you monster!”
“Can you hear me now…!”
I don’t know if it’s fortunate, but it didn’t seem like the kids would fight among themselves even if I left.
Actually, it’s a little disappointing. It seemed like things were finally working out. Even if I die like this, I will come back to life, or even if I face eternal death, I haven’t lived a good enough life to go to heaven, but in the end, I felt a little, a little bit regretful that I had to leave behind someone who would miss me.
Even if I think about it, it’s unfair to die like this…
“….”
…What should I do with my flower bed when I die?
“…sorry.”
Without me… who will give my kids an allowance?
“Sorry.”
Who will take me on a trip? Who takes care of you when you get sick? Who listens to me when I’m sad and angry? who?
I decided to be there for my family when they were having a hard time. We all decided to live in one house for the rest of our lives, just like we have been doing up until now. That wasn’t a joke. I was really saving money in my bank account while thinking about you and my kids for retirement.
“I…”
If I die without you.
“…I have to stay….”
My fingertips are numb and my vision is blurry.
His last breath, wearing a mysterious mask, burned thickly.
I ran out of soap at home. Was there any rice left in the rice bowl? I want to live more. I bought a car. I was planning to take the kids to see flowers. I did it. head hurts. I’m scared, save me hungry. What am I talking about? I’m sleepy. I will buy it. What if I die?
I have to go home. A pretty gift box was in the car on the way home. I have to give you that. I was going to give it to you. I also wrote a letter praising you. Wait a minute, a gift? Why did you buy it? It was my birthday. Someone’s…?
“…better. “I…”
“…”
“I said I would… do better… and stay…”
He congratulated me by giving me cake first. I was trying to make it a surprise. You have no idea how long I have been waiting for this day.
I mean, what was I going to do? After lighting a candle, singing a song, and giving a hug.
“…I’m sorry….”
After lighting a candle and singing a song, I hugged you with a bright smile.
And then…
“….”
Ah
, I opened my mouth.
“…―.”
…Bleep—….
* * *
Ivory ceiling.
“….”
Yellow and red light enters my eyes.
A bed with white, fluffy blankets. A dark brown wooden table next to it. Above it was a thin and narrow glass vase. A bunch of gorgeous red flowers inside. A few flower petals fell below. Finally, intense lighting filled the ceiling.
Lee Jae-heon muttered in a large, vain room.
“…I almost went back.”
When I opened my eyes, I had escaped from the other side of the world.
It’s hard to make a living.
