Episode 171
For Lee Jae-heon, ‘riches and fame’ was very simple.
As the word goes, ‘having a lot of wealth, having a high status, becoming valuable, and making your name shine in the world.’ Anyway, I am rich and powerful and no one can replace me. In this way, Lee Jae-heon’s ‘wealth and fame’ was to eat well and live at least as well as I did.
And it was much easier than the public thought.
“It’s easy to do.”
“….”
“What you can’t do is difficult.”
These were the words he used in his past life.
At times like that, my junior asked.
“…What can you do and what can’t you do?”
Then the person from his past life answered.
“This cannot be done if only God could do it.”
For example, creating a utopia.
Turning back time. Controlling nature at will. Bringing a mentally dead person into an ideal state. To restore my family, whom I lost in the most miserable way, to their happiest times.
The junior said:
“Then what does your senior want to do?”
He answered willingly.
“Being happy.”
“…is that something that can be done?”
“It cannot be done.”
“….”
“If it were God, it would be possible, but not me.”
What was your junior’s expression like at that time?
“That’s why I chose it, junior.”
“…aha.”
“Because that is the greatest happiness a human can choose.”
“I think I understand now.”
Jaeheon Lee didn’t bother remembering things he didn’t need. This was because he had so much to keep in his head that there was no free space to store unnecessary information.
That’s what I’m saying.
“We will never go down the same path.”
“I know.”
“It couldn’t have been like this…”
I couldn’t remember the expression on his face when he heard me say that.
I couldn’t remember the face.
“That’s sad.”
“lie.”
Yes, it wasn’t necessary.
* * *
“Teacher.”
“…Ah, Minhong.”
Munsan-gun lightly hugged Choi Min-hong, who returned to his arms after a long time.
“Why are you so sleepy? Shall we sleep?”
“hug me.”
“okay.”
Although he was already holding it, Munsan-gun did not tell him about it. Although I didn’t spend that long with Choi Min-hong, there were still things I felt while living in such a harsh environment. Minhong needed words of positivity, not negativity.
This time, Munsan asked, holding the child quite tightly.
“I heard you were playing with your brother and sister over there. It was fun?”
“huh. Leave it here with your hand like this. If I hit this first, I win.”
“I see.”
To be honest, I didn’t fully understand it, but I felt a little relieved because I felt like I had a lot of fun.
“….”
And immediately, the area around the solar plexus became heavy.
‘…Is it okay for it to stay like this?’
Munsan-gun’s eyes landed on students In-ho Jeong and Da-hoon Park, who were having a conversation not far away.
“So I should try it at least once. “You’ve done a lot.”
“I didn’t do much. The situation is not urgent enough to ask people like you…”
“It’s because I want to try. Park Da-young also said she wanted to do it.”
“It’s difficult.”
“We’ll do it together. “If you take turns, it’s less stressful.”
It seemed like they were talking about keeping watch.
“But it would be better if there was an adult involved.”
“Everyone was tired today. We didn’t do anything…”
“You also picked up firewood. “Then how about doing it with me?”
At Jeong In-ho’s words, student Park Da-hoon’s face hardened. Munsan-gun noticed that Park Da-hoon and Park Da-young, who looked at them with anxious eyes, did not really like a person named Jeong In-ho.
Student Park Da-hoon, who hesitated for a moment, answered.
“…no, I do not want.”
“okay.”
“….”
“I knew you would say that.”
At that moment, Munsan-gun’s heart dropped.
‘…The expression on his face was so…’
It didn’t look like a human.
In-ho Jeong, whom Munsan-gun saw, was a very round man. Her hair is round, her eyes are round, and even the smile on her lips is round. I could feel the smooth curves just by looking at the attitude and tone of voice towards others.
But that didn’t mean he was weak or soft. Munsan-gun used to get very anxious when Jeong In-ho made that kind of expression and a neat smile that looked like it had been baked like porcelain.
“Well, in that case, it would be okay for the two of you to take charge of the night watch for once. “Can you do the work for me?”
“…I’ll do better.”
“No, if you’re having a hard time, you can wake anyone up, so don’t feel pressured.”
He looked like a typical ‘good adult’.
“….”
Munsan-gun couldn’t help but realize that it was a made-up face.
If he had had a little more mental composure, he would have sensed danger from Jeong In-ho, but Munsan-gun was pushed to the edge for him to even notice. The sense of danger exuded by Jeong In-ho, who is struggling to maintain his sanity, was judged to be the sense of discomfort emitted by the monster.
“teacher.”
“…Yes, Minhong.”
“I’m going to sleep.”
“okay.”
Without realizing it, he pulled the child in his arms further inside.
“Shall we sleep in your arms?”
“I like that.” The words came out
suddenly
.
“thank you.”
The child looked up at me.
“What?”
“Being by my side.”
“Why is that?”
“I’m scared of being alone…” I can tell you
that Munsan was not a brave or bold person.
It was uncomfortable to speak out loud, but I didn’t have the courage to face hate, so I kept my mouth shut several times. If something wrong is happening right in front of you, you should stop it. While you worry about everything, a lot of things always end up happening. He is a frustrated and indecisive person.
How should Munsan-gun accept this situation?
“…I’m sleepy.”
“You can sleep.”
In a situation where you are being threatened by a murderer and can’t trust anyone.
“….”
His hand gently brushed the child’s short hair. The child fell into a dream quite quickly as they had been sleeping together like this before being discovered by the people gathered here. I was very fortunate that I didn’t feel too much pressure from this situation.
Before he knew it, Munsan-gun’s gaze had landed on the blood-covered man.
‘I would feel better if I died alone.’
It wasn’t easy to do because I thought it was something that probably involved the lives of quite a few people other than myself.
Fortunately or unfortunately, Minhong was not present when Song Inmyeong killed Choi Minhong’s guardian. Since the incident occurred while Munsan-gun lost sight of Choi Min-hong for a moment, he did not witness the terrible incident in front of his eyes. Considering the child’s personality development and future, this may be fortunate, but…
“…What is it?”
“…Ah yes?”
“Please keep watching.”
Oh no.
“…sorry.”
Munsan-gun blamed himself.
“It looked like you had just fallen asleep, but I was worried for no reason. “You must be tired, and I apologize.”
“…You say that very beautifully.”
For someone who calls her ‘pretty’, her face was quite wrinkled. Munsan, who was not very tactful, knew the meaning of that expression. It means, ‘He is not the right person for me.’ Nevertheless, this kind of honesty was more comfortable for Munsan-gun.
There are also things I felt while going back.
“Thank you for the compliment.”
Lee Jae-heon’s eyebrows furrowed even more at those words, but he didn’t seem particularly displeased. It literally seemed like a physiological feeling of distance from someone with whom one could not integrate well.
Munsan-gun unconsciously turned his gaze away from him and looked around. Jeong In-ho and other adults were lying down near the bonfire, and right in front of the fire, two students in school uniform were sitting side by side chatting. This situation could have been scary, but they were brave children. I’m proud of it.
‘Still, it would have been nice to have an environment where adults could be trusted more.’
I truly thought so.
He appears to be a high school student. People say that age is the time to find your own way of life and develop independence, but this was an exception. Those minors deserved to be fully protected in a harsh environment where they could starve for a day and lose their heads if they were not careful.
Lee Jae-heon’s voice came to his ears.
“I chose it myself.”
“…yes?”
“So leave it alone. “If I’m not going to take full responsibility for your life anyway, I should at least teach you how to stand on your own two feet. All you have to do is feel sorry for me.”
“…I…”
“Kids these days are so perceptive.”
Munsan realized that the two students were staring at him.
“….”
“….”
It was a desolate gaze that did not suit his age.
“…Ah….”
“From what I can see, you have a hard time by nature. Please talk to me instead of wasting time alone.”
“….”
“They’re not that bad.”
Munsan-gun’s face turned red.
“…sorry.”
This person knew everything about his suspicions.
Maybe it wasn’t just Lee Jae-heon. I don’t know why, but most of the people gathered here seem to be quick-witted, so maybe everyone except this dull Munsan-gun knew. Even so, the anxiety and doubts that had built up so far did not disappear, but I was feeling alone.
“I’m embarrassed because it’s never a good thing to be suspicious of someone. “It’s an excuse, but I guess this happens naturally because I don’t have confidence in myself.”
“…No, really, why are you saying it so nicely…”
“Yes?”
“It’s done. There is no one who cares about such things except that black guy over there and the pale doctor. “Isn’t it okay to just show off a little bit until you’re confident?”
“yes? No, that’s a bit…”
“It’s petty, so don’t say anything and just leave it alone. “Time will tell.”
Seeing the man say that and close his eyes again, Munsan-gun pursed his lips. Lee Jae-heon’s hands, leaning against a tree with his arms crossed, were tattered with blood and blisters. Anyone could see that these were the hands of a person who stood on the front lines and protected others.
In the end, Munsan couldn’t swallow his doubts and asked.
“Are you okay?”
Whether Song In-myeong’s words are true or not.
“Even after getting hurt like that… do you still want to stay with these people?”
“…Are you arguing now?”
“Oh, I’m sorry. “It’s not that, I’m just… curious…”
Anyway, it was the perfect environment for a person named Lee Jae-heon, who was as injured as me, to blame someone.
Sick people tend to be sensitive, and if there is a clear cause, it is easy for them to resent it. Considering these people’s stories and Song In-myeong’s sarcasm, it was easy to see that Lee Jae-heon gave up his body for them. And in some ways, it really seemed like freedom was being suppressed.
Not to mention the person named Jung In-ho, his gaze was always on Lee Jae-heon, pretending not to be a woman named Kang Min-ah. If they were worried about his physical condition, Munsan-gun had nothing to say, but what was in their eyes was not just concern, but a kind of obsession. The gaze of a doctor named Ha Seong-yoon was also formidable.
“…I was just wondering if you were okay.”
Lee Jae-heon, as seen by Munsan-gun, was a good person, and the people surrounding him showed a strange obsession even though his limbs were intact. Even if it wasn’t Song In-myeong’s words, he couldn’t help but feel a sense of discomfort.
“Because there is no suitable treatment method.”
“I did it because I liked it. “There is no such thing as good or bad.”
“….”
“…The person named Song In-myeong seemed to be of quite poor quality.”
At the words of Lee Jae-heon, who suddenly opened his eyes, Munsan-gun turned to him. As expected of someone who had a vague idea of what Munsan-gun was worried about, he seemed to understand the author, Song In-myeong, even if he did not say it. It surprisingly put Munsan-gun’s mind at ease.
Lee Jae-heon, who turned his gaze away from Munsan-gun, continued speaking.
“They said there was another team of survivors besides us. “It’s the same with what my friend Song In-myeong said and the information our kids found out.”
“…Yes, I knew.”
Choi Min-hong’s guardian, who was originally alive and well, was caught and killed while trying to inform the detective there of the killer’s existence.
“So I’m thinking of going to visit. “I’m going to take all the other kids to see their faces.”
“….”
“Would you like to go with me?”
Munsan-gun was the type of person who had no confidence in himself.
Therefore, others could not arbitrarily impose standards on themselves. How could I, a terrible idiot who couldn’t even judge myself, criticize or praise another person? Even if Munsan saw the differences between the two groups of survivors with his own eyes, he wouldn’t be convinced.
But I couldn’t say I didn’t like it.
“…yes.”
He also partially acknowledged that time solves problems.
In the end, you will have to make a choice.
