Episode 148
“….”
Lee Jae-heon couldn’t understand the person named Jeong In-ho.
‘Wouldn’t that guy be relieved if I died?’
To be more honest, I didn’t really want to understand. Therefore, I never once tried to seriously understand and sympathize with Jeong In-ho and all of his companions.
“…Should I apologize?”
“…I’m not sure.”
“….”
That was because Lee Jae-heon disliked a person named Jeong In-ho.
‘What are you asking me to do?’
As expected, Jeong In-ho was arrogant.
Recalling memories of a past life did not mean that memories of the present life would disappear. Although the situation has now been covered up with ‘actually, it was all my acting!’, Lee Jae-heon before recalling the memories of his past life is also saying that the origin itself is the same as the current Lee Jae-heon.
The original Lee Jae-heon was an old man, no matter what anyone said. To put it bluntly, he was an old man with a vicious spirit who even gave up a lot of sleep in the morning and went to work early for the joy of craving someone else. He couldn’t have been completely unaware of Assistant Manager Jeong In-ho’s disdain for him.
Even Lee Jae-heon, who had no memory of his previous life, instinctively knew that that guy was ignoring me.
“First of all… I will apologize.”
And by nature, old-timers were a race of people who felt unbearable humiliation when they thought their authority was ignored. In the meantime, there was no way I could look favorably on this guy named In-ho Jeong.
‘Anyway, you seem like a picky bastard.’
Lee Jae-heon, who sighed and hid his thoughts from his face, continued calmly.
“It is true that I did not give you much consideration. “Actually, there is a little difference between what you and I think.”
“…I know. “Thanks to you, you look like a zombie.”
“So there are some things where empathy itself is not possible. I don’t know how my future self will sound if I say this. “I guess you didn’t seem to be very sad about my death.”
In fact, the bad relationship between Jung In-ho and Lee Jae-heon was quite long, and it has been a long time since their first impressions of each other were ruined. They say that in order to fix a ruined first impression, you have to meet face-to-face and talk again several times, but there’s no way Lee Jae-heon or Jung In-ho would have that kind of sincerity.
He had become accustomed to what he had been craving for so long, and the person named Jung In-ho was also a very unpleasant and irritating person to Lee Jae-heon.
“…everyone feels sad when someone they know dies…”
“But I wasn’t a good person.”
What did I say in the last episode?
After a short thought, he said something that ‘Jaeheon Lee’ would say at this point.
“…I was always in your way. Stupid, annoying and one-dimensional.”
“….”
“To be honest, it may be true that I don’t see you as people. However, I thought that other people would not see me as a person either.”
It was probably a familiar sentence.
This is because it was a line that came out when an abandoned dog monster attacked and Jung In-ho came to help him, and they had a fight because they did not agree on what each other wanted.
“I never thought I would be in your life.”
Lee Jae-heon sighed inwardly as he recalled that time.
‘Secondly, is it because of jealousy?’
This is why I hate the main character in front of me.
This is what Lee Jae-heon realized after examining his own condition with minimal objectivity through one regression, and he seemed to feel a kind of inferiority complex towards the main character, Jeong In-ho.
“I’ve always thought of myself as… some kind of villain.”
“…Did you do any role playing when you were that age?”
“It’s a funny thing to say, but it’s probably not wrong. “I thought that kind of role suited me.”
“That’s a really funny thing to say.”
“Even now, my thoughts are not much different.”
Needless to say, both Lee Jae-heon in his past life and Lee Jae-heon in his current life were villains with bad mouths.
In his past life, he received a pretty worthy fate thanks to his abilities, but he ultimately collapsed as a villain, and in this life, isn’t he a third-rate villain who will be forgotten for a moment of pleasure?
Of course, such an ending would have been a blessing in disguise, but it was none of Lee Jae-heon’s business, as he was extremely childish and cruel by nature. He basically had a talent for being hostile toward others who had what he didn’t have.
“So, wouldn’t he be someone who can get hurt a few times or even die?”
“…I really don’t know why I’m listening to this stupid story again, Manager…”
“I’m just telling you what I think. “That future… I think my future self may have caused a conflict with In-ho Jeong over this.”
Lee Jae-heon even went as far as to dislike the protagonist itself, without any other reasons. Just existing itself is stressful.
‘Actually, this was the biggest problem.’
Based on his memories of his past life, Lee Jae-heon hates the ‘main character’, but that bastard somehow touched those memories of his past life.
Lee Jae-heon’s wife was a novel writer on the side, and she liked to create characters based on real people around her. The character ‘Jeong In-ho’ created by his wife took many characteristics from Lee Jae-heon himself and one of his juniors whom he disliked very much.
Therefore, Jung In-ho’s existence itself could be seen as a land mine for Lee Jae-heon.
“Now that I’ve mentioned it, I… have never attached great meaning to my death. If you just die, you die. “That’s it.”
“I’m truly speechless.”
“So I thought that even if I died, I would be quickly forgotten. Listening to you now, I think I made quite a big mistake, but I don’t know. Even now, it doesn’t really hit me…”
He trailed off his words, which flowed a little quickly, as if he was nervous. He clasped his hands together or touched them to show that he was feeling uncomfortable with the current situation, and then clasped his hands together and averted his gaze to the other side, as if he had belatedly realized his condition.
Anyway, whether Lee Jae-heon truly understood Jung In-ho or sympathized with him or not, in the end he had to make the other person feel better. As long as there was a topic called ‘return’, the direction he had to go was very clear.
“So I did everything… I know it’s ridiculous, but I wanted to figure it out somehow.”
“…why.”
“Because I have the ability and you are weak.”
In any case, it was enough to give the feeling that all the things that were thought to be mere scraps were meaningful times, and that ‘the situation was solved with the knowledge gained through regression.’
Jaeheon Lee calmly lowered his voice. After coughing up blood once, his voice was quite cracked.
“Because I deserve to die and be forgotten so quickly…” “
….”
“I believed that if anyone should be consumed, it should be me. Isn’t that the case? “Every efficient task involves consuming the least valuable but situationally appropriate materials first.”
“…I really want to cry every time the word efficiency comes out of the manager’s mouth.”
It was a light remark, like a joke, but the expression on his face was anything but.
Jeong In-ho was gradually getting tired of talking with Lee Jae-heon, but the reason he was able to hold on until now was because he revealed his secret. Because I informed Lee Jae-heon of his regression.
That would be quite comforting, so I could push a little further here.
“Even now, my thoughts are not much different, Jeong In-ho. “You are still a little older, but if you spend some time here, you will be able to understand me.”
“Don’t try to persuade me because you suddenly feel like this is the right time.”
“…I was just saying that you don’t have to worry….”
Up to this point, the flow of the conversation was really similar to ‘before’.
‘For the most part, only the nuances have changed, but the content remains the same.’
Lee Jae-heon showed a faintly sour expression but continued to avoid eye contact.
And there was no way the main character, Jung In-ho, didn’t know that. By now, you’re probably letting go of your frustration by wondering if you’ll fail again. You might want to die halfway.
“There is no particular big problem. Even if it looks like it hurts a lot and you can’t use your hands anymore, that’s not the case. “I don’t do anything I can’t handle.”
“….”
“I always do my best to find the best efficiency.”
But I had no intention of making it that far.
“…still.”
It would be better to play it at this point.
“…My well-being is with Mr. Jeong In-ho….”
“….”
“If you say he has a great influence on other people….”
Jeong In-ho’s expression hardened at that shallow voice.
At first glance, it felt like it was solidified with a bad meaning, but Lee Jae-heon, who knew the other person, could tell. He must have been feeling a glimmer of hope or a wavering sense of resignation in Lee Jae-heon’s words.
Lee Jae-heon, who confirmed this discreetly, hesitated several times before continuing.
“…I will take care.”
“…What?”
Jeong In-ho asked in disbelief, and Lee Jae-heon answered the vague question.
“Yours and mine. To make it a little less distracting… uh….”
“So.”
“…Okay, wouldn’t it be okay if you just take care of yourself?”
“how?”
“how? Ha, my. Okay, can I meet your standards? Or are you going to punish me so much that it doesn’t really work like it used to?”
Lee Jae-heon closed his eyes and wiped his face as if he was tired, but did not hide his awkwardness. The fact that he said something like this meant that it was extremely unusual and impossible for Lee Jae-heon.
He continued, feeling that it would be a shame for it to end at this level.
“…Anyway, thank you for your hard work.”
“…Why…”
“You were mumbling about failure and all, but I guess it wasn’t completely meaningless. “At least you will know what will happen in the future.”
“….”
“And there’s no guarantee that only Jeong In-ho will remember the situation from before… is there any? Maybe there will come a day when I and others will remember those days. “I don’t know why this happened in the first place, but there’s no way it’s just you.”
That’s how I laid the groundwork.
‘I’ll just pretend to remember it later.’
Of course, I didn’t think of everything, but just occasionally asked ‘Huh? Hasn’t there been something like this before?’ Just to get lucky. Shouldn’t that be enough for Lee Jae-heon to make a comeback?
“The other side of the world has a very strong influence on the mind, so if you have the will to remember it, it may come to mind… It will also be helpful if In-ho Jeong finds the reason why he remembers what happened at that time.”
In fact, this was the flow I had in mind from the time I first returned.
I didn’t know that I would use this for the main character’s mental healing, but I still wanted to create a context so that Lee Jae-heon could also use the information from the previous episode.
‘Because if I keep remembering the main character, it will be difficult to change my behavior.’
If the main character was the only one who remembered the previous timeline, it would be difficult for Lee Jae-heon to change the course of his actions on his own. Fortunately, this time, I spent time in a dream for the first time, but there was no stimulation or change, so intact history cannot be changed.
He wanted to use this piece of cake somehow.
“So, I will help you too.”
“….”
“I won’t die. I’m serious. I don’t know if a disaster will strike, but even if it gets to that point, I won’t give up. “Why don’t we just try to survive as much as possible and come back to you?”
“…Ah…”
Hearing Lee Jae-heon’s words, Jeong In-ho slowly blinked several times.
“…Wait a minute are you crying now?”
“….”
“Uh…? uh? No, I said I would do well, but why are you crying?…”
The main character shed tears.
I felt a familiar feeling of déjà vu, but it meant that I had somehow solved the immediate situation.
* * *
“….”
I was clinging to someone.
His hands hung on his waist and he desperately tried to keep from falling. Because I knew that if I left it like this, I would fall into the depths and die.
It was also like a reflex caused by fear. Just like when a person screams when the pain is so bad, or like a person who gets scared when they step on a thorn and takes off their foot, I ended up clinging to it without realizing it. If I had been in my right mind, I wouldn’t have acted so stupid.
I wanted Kang Min-ah to live.
“…Director….”
That’s how Manager Lee Jae-heon died.
“Manager, manager….”
“….”
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry I caught you. “I shouldn’t have done that, and I’m sorry.”
“….”
“I killed the manager….”
I couldn’t remember anything in detail. The fear-stricken brain refused to recognize reality, so when Kang Min-ah came to her senses, only a few things came to mind.
It’s just that Manager Lee Jae-heon suffered because she clung to him.
“The manager took the pain for me when I was in pain….”
He was a truly horrible idiot who made no sense.
Kang Min-ah, terrified, clung to Director Lee Jae-heon for her life, and while trying to catch her, he almost fell off a cliff. Even so, he prayed to the killer to save Kang Min-ah, who he barely caught. I prayed that even though I must have felt really nauseous.
Instead of torturing myself, please don’t drop me.
“I should have died.”
“….”
“I should have let go first and fallen down the cliff. Then the manager wouldn’t have been so sick. “It was like I was constantly asking that person to make a sacrifice.”
At work, he suffered a serious injury to his leg by a monster while trying to catch Kang Min-ah. This time too, it wasn’t much different. Director Lee Jae-heon chose the option of being tortured by the killer to save Kang Min-ah.
Oh how disgusting it was. This means that one wishes pain to the target of one’s murderous intentions. How miserable must it have been for oneself to beg for life in that way. Even Kang Min-ah, who was just listening, feels so sick and despairing when she thinks back on that conversation…
“It’s because of me.”
All of that was a sacrifice for Kang Min-ah.
“If only I hadn’t been there, if I had been more mature… the manager wouldn’t have died like that.”
“….”
“Right?”
To that question,
“…uh….”
I said.
Kang Min-ah felt a hint of fear.
“…What is this…?”
“please.”
“What are you? “What are you saying? I… I’ve never experienced anything like that.”
“Please, please.”
“Don’t ask me to do that…!”
As I stepped back out of instinctive rejection, Inyoung, who looked just like me, reached out and hugged me. The obsession with his trembling fingertips made it feel more like a restraint than a hug.
‘It’ was like Kang Min-ah in everything, but not completely the same. It couldn’t be the same as Kang Min-ah, who was much stronger and seemed more desperate than her. It couldn’t be the same as Kang Min-ah, who had never gone through what the other person went through.
But it felt like it wasn’t too far away…
“…I’m sorry…”
“…”
“I killed that person.”
I couldn’t refuse any longer.
“You will kill him.”
Kang Min-ah was right.
This is Kang Min-ah, who has neither evolved nor degenerated yet.
* * *
“…Ah.”
It was a strange dream.
(Continued in the next part)
