Episode 105
Kwon Yeon-hee was a person who was quite good at speaking.
If there was a meeting, he was the one who hosted it, and if he was locked in a room, he was the first person to speak out. By nature, I liked being around other people and enjoyed talking.
However, because of that, Kwon Yeon-hee had a cautious side. She had not hesitated to criticize others since she was young, and she knew that her kindness could be poisonous. When I was in elementary school, there was a time when I introduced my friends to a classmate who was quiet and wanted to become friends, but a conflict arose.
The most important thing for Kwon Yeon-hee was not to cross the line.
“…I guess the manager likes kids more than I thought.”
Maybe that’s why I couldn’t readily say what I wanted to say.
“I? A child? why?”
“You’re pretending it’s not like that again… We all just saw it and you’re trying to comfort that baby. “He was very skilled.”
“That’s just something you do. There’s no reason to like it or not. “Then should I have cursed at the newborn baby?”
“I heard you always take it out every time something like this happens.”
I felt my mouth tighten with a forced smile. It was a very unfamiliar situation for Kwon Yeon-hee, who smiles a lot and has simple thoughts, but even so, her expression did not become as soft as usual.
For no reason, I recited the conversation I had with Assistant Manager Jeong In-ho.
“So… do you have a nephew?”
“suddenly?”
“No, um. “When I searched, I heard that there are married brothers.”
“What kind of person with nothing to do searches for something like that?”
“Huh….”
I decided not to say that the ‘guy with nothing to do’ was Jeong In-ho.
Even though the content was all posted on the Internet, it would not be pleasant to know that someone deliberately tried to find it. In times like this, it was better to just pretend I heard it somewhere.
Director Lee Jae-heon, who was looking at Kwon Yeon-hee, who was laughing insincerely, with bitter eyes, soon opened his mouth.
“I have about three nephews. “One from my sister’s side and two from my brother’s side.”
“Uh…”
Kwon Yeon-hee was suddenly surprised at those words and asked back.
“Crazy manager, are you the youngest? “The youngest of the three?”
“…Do you really have to say it like that?”
“Oh uh oh. I see, ah….”
If you think about it carefully, it wasn’t something that was really surprising. Kwon Yeon-hee, who knows various information, knew at least what kind of business Lee Jae-heon’s family did, and the one who currently inherited the family business is the older sister. And I also knew that the person who left for the affiliated company was Lee Jae-heon’s older brother.
But apart from that, I never thought to combine all this information. That’s because, to Kwon Yeon-hee, Manager Lee Jae-heon was just an old guy from another department, and there wasn’t a very close relationship between that company and the company they worked for. To be exact, I just didn’t have that much interest.
“Wow, but no. “It’s really surprising… you’re the youngest.”
“Are you going to keep calling me the youngest? “I am now over 40. 40.”
“Oh yes. sorry.”
Kwon Yeon-hee swallowed her laughter because the frowning frown of her eyebrows was unknowingly funny. If I had seen that face at work, I would have run away, but for now, the atmosphere has only calmed down.
“Then, manager… do you have any plans to get married? “Everyone else in the family is married.”
“I don’t have anything in particular, but marriage.”
He swept the corners of his mouth as if to cover them and continued speaking.
“Isn’t that what marriage is all about? Meeting someone who doesn’t make me excited, but makes me feel comfortable… something like that. “Do it with like-minded people.”
“You have a much healthier mindset than you might think.”
“I’m slowly climbing up, employee Kwon.”
“….”
“…I’d like to talk about something late at night…”
Director Lee Jae-heon clicked his tongue.
“You have to find someone who can endure the worst times, whether it’s a relationship or something else.”
“…when it’s the worst?”
“No one knows when the other person is at his best. You have to see when that person fell into the abyss and lost everything he had. “Confession is something I do when I feel like I can endure it.”
“Uh…”
Kwon Yeon-hee looked at Lee Jae-heon with a strange gaze.
“I don’t think these are words that would come out of the mouth of a single person, Manager.”
“So that’s the end of what you’re talking about, huh? Is it over?”
“Ah, I’m sorry…!”
In the end, Kwon Yeon-hee had to get hit on the forehead like intern Noh Yeon-seok did, but at least she was feeling better than before, so she just kept her mouth shut. In fact, it didn’t hurt that much, but it seemed like he was being cruel for no reason.
She gently wiped her forehead, which was not in pain, and then asked carefully.
“…Then, did you have something like that, Manager?”
“what.”
“First love… something like that.”
“….”
Lee Jae-heon’s gaze suddenly sank.
“…It did exist.”
And in the blink of an eye, it was back to normal.
When Kwon Yeon-hee saw that, a thought suddenly occurred to her.
‘…Did I make a mistake?’
Lee Jae-heon, who was talking about the worst and all, seemed to be talking about someone while thinking about it, but if you think about it, it wasn’t a particularly good topic to talk about. We don’t know what a love story like this would mean to Lee Jae-heon, who doesn’t have much time to spare.
Manager Lee Jae-heon, perhaps aware of Kwon Yeon-hee’s reaction, asked with a playful expression on his face.
“Well then, does our employee Kwon have a good romantic history? “Do you have anything to share to kill time?”
“…What is better than me…”
So she also swallowed her doubts.
“Isn’t Mina’s side more interesting? A younger man’s heart-pounding love challenge seen right before your eyes…! “I didn’t look at you like that, Yeon-seok, but you seem to have a pretty reckless side.”
“Him? really? When did you do that? Nonsense.”
“Why can’t I trust the manager, even though he is an intern in his own department? My already tender heart will be hurt. “You keep looking at the manager, how much do you want him to do?”
“Well, what’s more… What’s the point of saying something to the manager? huh?”
After that, we just talked nonsense for a while.
Director Lee Jae-heon was leaning against a tree, and Kwon Yeon-hee was sitting on a large stone. The sky was just black, so it was hard to tell how much time had passed.
But for Kwon Yeon-hee, it felt like quite a long time.
‘…I want to apologize…’
I didn’t know when to say it.
Of course, Kwon Yeon-hee was not a person who was stingy with apologies. She believed that all humans are flawed and that they can be corrected. I have never once thought that an apology, which allowed me to make up for my shortcomings, was unpleasant or hurt my pride.
But this was the first time in my life that I had apologized for something so wrong.
“….”
I turned away from the person who risked his life to protect me.
At the time, she couldn’t think of anything. Although it is true that we should be concerned when a person vomits blood, it felt as if Director Lee Jae-heon was not a person at that time. Since it was not a human being, spitting blood was considered okay.
So I ran away and left him behind. I saw you obviously fending off monsters, and I know you’ve been hurt for that reason. Kwon Yeon-hee was scared by Director Lee Jae-heon, who was not even a monster, and ran away.
If I were human, I shouldn’t have been like this.
“…I…”
Just as I was about to open my mouth,
“Do I really need to do that?”
“…yes?”
“I’m sorry.”
“….”
“I was going to say it now.”
Jaeheon Lee spat out his words.
“why?”
why?
“….”
Why are you sorry?
Why do you say that and ask why you are apologizing?
“…But…”
“Is that really necessary?”
“….”
“…I don’t understand.”
Lee Jae-heon suddenly approached and stood in front of Kwon Yeon-hee, who kept her mouth shut.
He looked at her sitting on the stone with one of her bright red legs folded, and Kwon Yeon-hee suddenly remembered the first time she saw a dog-like monster. It was the same posture he used to comfort her when she was crying after seeing that.
And then I say it.
“I think you may be misunderstanding.”
“…What.”
“I’m stronger and more indifferent than I think.”
It was a mechanical yet tired voice.
“They’re not small, weak, and soft like you guys.”
It felt unfair, so I shot back.
“We’re not that small, weak or soft either.”
“No, you will cry if you are betrayed.”
“….”
“If I leave you and disappear without a word. If there’s blood dripping or a limb is broken, they scream. “If someone dies, I’ll go crazy again because I’m weak.”
“… Manager, you will cry if one of us dies…”
“I guess so.”
Then he said.
“But that’s it. “It doesn’t leave any significant scars.”
“….”
“I’m the bad one because your death doesn’t leave a scar, at least here. “I can never say that you are all bad.”
yes?
Director Lee Jae-heon, who said that, had an expression that matched the honorifics he sometimes heard.
It’s as cold as an elevator, and it moves with the same amount of wear and tear remaining. There was a disorder within that could not be expressed with Kwon Yeon-hee’s insignificant experience. It was something so complex that I could never have imagined it could all be contained within one person.
He truly felt sorry for us and was also curious because he did not understand.
“But I’m already like this.”
“….”
“There are already people who live like this, and it just so happens to be right in front of you. “Why can’t you think of using someone who is so anxious to save you all?”
They say they write.
“…That….”
He clearly said, ‘I intend to write it.’
Looking at yourself.
“That… you can’t do that.”
You’re acting like you’re an object.
“You shouldn’t do that….”
“….”
“Why do you say that? Why?”
We have never once looked at you and thought of you as a doll that would hurt instead of an object. There is no one who is so mean as to curse someone who is still alive and tell them to suffer more.
I’m sure everyone wants to thank you and say they’re sorry.
“Why do you want us to hate you so much?”
In fact, you always try to get away from us.
I kept thinking it was strange. Manager Lee Jae-heon often made a face that was completely different from his usual mood, and there was a sense of discomfort that he could not hide in his words. Kwon Yeon-hee realized a long time ago that he was a different person from the ‘Lee Jae-heon’ she knew.
But that conclusion left her even more confused.
“They say mean things on purpose and get annoyed. They come back looking like zombies and laugh like it’s nothing… That’s not right. “Why do you say that?”
“….”
“You didn’t tell me once, you didn’t say anything. Where did you get hurt, how much did it hurt, and why did you have to do that? I can tell from the way I occasionally talk to In-ho Jeong that these people know everything except us. “We don’t deserve to know.”
“Are you angry?”
“I’m really angry. I don’t think the manager sees us as grown adults. No, I don’t think they see me as a person. “I always treat you like a glass that’s about to break.”
I shouldn’t be like this. I shouldn’t be this angry, looking into the eyes of the person I ignored in front of the person who got hurt like this because of me.
Something that wasn’t a sigh, a cry, or anger crawled out from inside the crushing mush.
“… Manager, how many times do we have to tell you that you’re not a bad person…?”
Do I really need to tell you that you are a person and not an object?
“I really know I shouldn’t have done this…”
“I’m sorry.”
“….”
“So, I’m not bad.”
I couldn’t say anything.
Yes actually. Anger is given by someone who has done something right, and an apology is given by someone who has done something wrong. In order for Kwon Yeon-hee, who was angry, to not become a criminal, Lee Jae-heon had to become a villain.
I made it that way.
“I’m sorry for leading the situation to this point without telling you anything. It’s clearly a mistake and it’s worth getting angry. “I forgot for a moment that it is difficult to experience an information gap as a member of a team.”
“…It’s not like that…”
“I’ve been here before.”
“….”
“I’ve been to this world.”
I was out of breath.
“I’ve been here many times. With people other than you.”
“…Uh….”
“So I know a little more. So I can do better. It’s not because you’re bad that I get hurt, but because it’s better for me to get hurt instead, so it’s like this. “Because I suffer less, suffer less, and survive better than you.”
“….”
“It’s efficient this way, so of course I stepped in.”
It was a ridiculous story.
“So there’s no need to apologize.”
“….”
“…Still, if you’re sorry, I’ll be grateful.”
so.
“…I am.”
Because I don’t know exactly where it doesn’t make sense.
“The real me…”
“Yes.”
“…I really don’t know if that’s what it is….”
“….”
“….”
So many things were wrong that I couldn’t even apologize.
In the end, I can’t fix anything.
