[Side story] Two-arm scale (12)
“Lortel.”
I felt like I sat quietly and waited for about 10 minutes.
Lortel, who was lying wrapped in a blanket on the other side of the bed, would occasionally twitch his body like a live fish that had just been caught.
Every time I looked back on a memory, I would twist my body as if someone had touched an electrode, and I would close my eyes tightly because I could not imagine what that would feel like.
“I’ll bring you another glass of cold water…”
I had already gulped down all the cold water I had brought earlier. I, too, am in a position where I can’t help but feel thirsty.
In the end, I had no choice but to pick up the teapot and head back to the first floor lobby.
“I… I mean the clothes you just mentioned…”
“…Yes?”
“It’s a little late, but could you prepare some women’s clothes of the appropriate size? I’ll pay for it.”
When I said that to the inn staff, the staff member stared into space for a moment and suddenly nodded.
What on earth is going on in that room that Lortel and I share, to the point where our good clothes are torn and unusable, and we need new ones?
From the perspective of a young female employee, she cannot help but feel embarrassed as this is a situation where all kinds of imaginations are going on.
“Well… Then… I’ll prepare clothes that are similar in size to mine…”
After a strange question-and-answer session with the staff, Lortel returned to the room and found Lortel, who had come to his senses, sitting on the bed.
Anyone who has only seen Lortel always commanding people as the leader might burst out laughing when they see Lortel now.
Her completely matted auburn hair still retained its fiery color even in the darkness and moonlight.
However, his confident and bright eyes are always fixed on the floor, and he is holding tightly to the blanket wrapped around his body.
My red face felt like it was going to burst at any moment, so I quickly poured some cold water and handed it to her.
Lortel gulped down the cold water in an unbecoming fit, then sighed and calmed down for a moment.
And after a time gap of about 3 seconds, he cupped his face again and pushed his head against the wall.
After being cursed by Slog, he showed off all kinds of cuteness and acted cute in Los Taylor’s territory. Even the way he smiled innocently and nuzzled Lucy’s face, or the way he followed Jenika by her collar and gave her a look of respect.
I can still see him making short noises and begging me to pat his head… and even remembering the fact that I saw all of Lortel’s secret notes… I’m sure he feels like
biting his tongue right now.
“Yes… Slog Keldlux…”
After fighting for about 30 more minutes, Lortel, who was finally able to speak in an adult tone, nodded.
I explained everything that happened while Lortel was incapacitated.
Slog The entire story of what Keldlux had done, without exception.
Now, the only person who can control the large Elte Company is Lortel Kecheln.
Behind him are the Duke of Rosstaylor, the Imperial Family of Cloel, and even the Saint Cloeron.
It is a weight class that can be said to have become a proper power in this commercial city.
Nevertheless, Lortel Kecheln did not look happy or relieved. All I did was wrap my blanket around me and lower my head with a confused look on my face for a moment.
“…”
“You’re not happy as expected.”
“Right now… I’m having a hard time sorting out my emotions… I’m not the type of person who can’t sort out my emotions sluggishly with things like this, but maybe the effects of the curse are still there…”
Lortel held the blanket tightly and wrapped his arms around her shoulders.
Unlike the appearance of always wearing expensive clothes and accessories, he does not appear to be wearing a single thread.
A person before being a merchant.
When you put down what you wear, it becomes clear that even Lortel, who is said to be the devil who sold his soul for gold, is just a human like everyone else.
“…I think your feelings are complicated.”
“well. Actually, it’s not a situation that needs to be that complicated. “It’s just…”
Only then did Lortel seem to have regained some of his original appearance. He smiles awkwardly.
“I was wondering if I could stimulate my senior’s protective instinct if I hesitate and show myself weak like this.”
He flashes a sinister smile and acts like a fox like always. I
could have smiled in vain at that sight…
but I didn’t.
“…”
“…I guess it was a bit remiss of me to think that I could gloss over it like this…”
“When things are hard, it’s better to just say they’re hard. From experience.”
In fact, if you think about Lortel’s life, it is not something that can be talked about so easily.
This city is full of beasts that are eager to discover Lortel’s weaknesses. Showing weakness in such a place is nothing but an act of self-destruction.
That’s why it became a habit for Lortel to hide his weaknesses.
Even when she is confused, embarrassed, and wants to wander, she acts like a sly fox to others, and it is not difficult to imagine what her life must have been like.
“Rather than it being difficult… I don’t know… I’m just afraid.”
Covered in a blanket on the bed, she looks at her white feet sticking out between the blankets.
If you look up at the starlight softly streaming in through the window, you will see the moon hanging at the end of your eyelashes.
There is only me in front of my eyes.
Since they have already seen each other, Lortel reveals his weaknesses without hesitation.
“As I struggle to survive on this old deck, it feels like I’m walking through fog. “Of course I don’t know where this place is, and I can’t even tell the difference between a friend and a friend, so I have to be wary of every pretender I hear.”
Then, when he lowers his head, he looks like a piece of glasswork ready to break at any moment.
“If you walk around swinging your weapon at everyone like that, you will often cut off the heads of people who could have been your people. “There is no exception just because it is a slog.”
“…”
“It happened quite often. “Until I met you.”
The emotion I saw on Slog’s face as he closed his eyes and was bleeding was ‘admiration’.
No matter what happens, Lortel will never trust Slog.
She is a girl who has endured her entire life in a city where betrayal and trickery are the norm. Slog also understood that fact so clearly that it made his bones tingle.
“It’s so stupid. “You end up being eaten away by loneliness as you push everything away with your own hands.”
It is rare to see Lortel mocking himself. Because I am a person who is in a position where I have to show that I am unwavering at all times and places.
“Still, I couldn’t help it. “Because I had to survive.”
It wouldn’t have been the first slog.
As Lortel walked down the path covered with gold coins, he eliminated the possibility of countless people who might have become true companions or friends with whom he could sincerely communicate.
And it’s probably not just a story that applies to Lortel.
That might be natural in this city of merchants.
One wrong decision causes blood to spill. The world of commerce is like that.
“In this city, no matter what you do, you can’t escape loneliness and taxes.”
He spoke jokingly while holding his knee.
I raise the corners of my mouth with a smile, but the empty aftertaste is filled with bitterness.
It’s night. It was far away when the sun rose.
This long, long darkness would feel even longer to Lortel today.
I have run along the road, losing many people, but I never get used to that sense of loss and loneliness. Human beings are like that.
That’s why Lortel buries his head in his lap. As of now, she doesn’t know how many more people like Slog she will have to live with burying in the ground.
“Seniors.”
I could feel it just by that short name calling me.
Lortel, who has laid down a lot of things, has the power to convey emotions with just a weak breath at the end of a sentence.
This is different from the way he slyly teases others like a fox and occasionally smiles like a fool.
Lortel’s expression is not visible as he is burying his head. Only the hair flowing between the nape of the neck falls down without any force.
There is a big difference between Lortel before and now. The fact is that there is someone by your side now.
“Can you give me a hug just once?”
It was a faint voice, like the fading light of a lighthouse.
When it comes to myself, I consciously raise my eyebrows. However, you can read the subtle tension at the end of the subdued voice.
I feel a sense of danger, as if I’m going to burst out laughing at any moment, saying it’s a joke and just teasing me.
However, even if 1 second or 5 seconds pass… Lortel does not run away through the escape route called ‘joke’.
Just quietly burying your head in gentle silence.
There is a more effective cure than you might think for the chronic disease called loneliness that has followed you persistently throughout your life.
It feels like someone is by your side.
The assurance that you no longer have to spend long, dark nights lying alone.
This is probably what Lortel is most craving now.
The presence of someone you can emotionally rely on is found in the most difficult times.
That’s why… we can’t take Lortel’s attitude lightly, as he doesn’t just blurt out the end of his words and say it’s a joke.
“….”
The precarious appearance is like a candle that seems ready to go out at any moment.
If you ask me if I can leave the room and leave Lortel behind, saying I’m sorry but I can’t…
I can’t help but ask, “Can I do that?”
However, the part of my heart that I hold on to until the end is… of course Yenika.
While hugging Yenika’s shoulders, he even throws in a romantic line (which makes me grit my teeth now that I think about it) that we’ll be quite happy…
and then hugging Lortel’s shoulders… that’s absolute trash. Isn’t it itself?
…Are you prepared to become trash?
Suddenly, the meaningful expression that Merilda had whispered in my ear with a playful expression penetrated deep into my heart.
If you are not prepared to become trash, you must be prepared to take the opposite path.
I shook my head at Lortel, who was in danger of collapsing at any moment, and prepared to quietly leave the room.
Leaving Lortel alone in this dark inn room, he quietly blends in with the crowd of people on the night street.
…. It’s not that easy.
I feel like I’m being strangled by an external force. It’s as if someone is holding a blade to your throat and asking. It’s a situation where you have to make one of two decisions.
My head spins and my thoughts accelerate.
At this point, the very fact of ‘worrying about it’ may be hurtful to the other person.
So, the time I am allowed to worry about is at most 2 to 3 seconds.
All conclusions have to be drawn in that very slight moment of startling and trembling. In a situation so extreme that it seemed unreasonable, I held my breath and looked toward Lortel.
The nape of my neck is bright red.
The color behind my ears has also risen so much that it looks like it’s about to burst. The good news is that the other side was so distracted that they didn’t have time to check my reaction.
When I see that, my composure comes back little by little.
Yes, my way of thinking was wrong from the beginning.
The important thing is not whether I become trash or not.
In the face of Lortel, who mustered up all the courage she had, it was not polite of her to worry about an answer with such self-satisfying thoughts.
The point is, ultimately, what do I think?
Isn’t it right to think carefully about whether I am really conscious of Lortel as a member of the opposite sex, rather than about things like respect or morals?
Anyone in the world can see that Lortel is a good woman.
This is not just about good looks or great economic power.
He has deep insight and an open mind. However, there is also a precarious part of it that feels like it could collapse at any moment if it is not supported by its side. He acts like an infinitely selfish person, but once he is convinced that he is his person, he gives everything, including his liver and gallbladder, which is attractive.
In any case, he is a reliable person to have around you.
I have to admit it.
I think a woman named Lortel is a very attractive person. I can’t deny that.
The life of having to struggle every day to survive is over.
As I take a step back from my stable daily life and look at the favor she offers, I once again realize how heavy her sincerity is.
I was the one who always took a step back. Nevertheless, I think back on Lortel’s single-minded support for me.
I met her for the first time in Sylvania and we went through various hardships together.
There were several times when my life could have been in danger, but she always helped me with a consistent attitude. And he always walked after me, showing his favor towards me without hesitation.
After organizing my thoughts up to this point, I have come to a clear conclusion.
I can never abandon Lortel.
“….”
I swept my face once as if washing my face, pushed it up to my bangs, and then took a deep breath.
And then he got up from his seat and went to the window.
– Shoot, shoot, shoot.
The sound of the waves and gentle breeze of the night sea calms the mind and body.
I quietly looked at the night view outside the window for a while and then quietly called Lortel’s name.
“Lortel”
“Keuhi!”
“…”
Perhaps because he was holding his breath, Lortel shook his shoulders and made a strange sound. I only called his name once, but his reaction was as if he had been punched.
And I was so embarrassed that I even reacted that way, so I couldn’t come up with an answer right away. It’s almost pathetic when you look at it.
It seemed too cruel to ask Lortel anything more here, so I kept my mouth shut and turned around again.
Then, I slowly walked towards Lortel, carefully sat down next to him, and hugged his shoulders.
“Senior Seo…”
I hear my heart pounding.
Anyway, I wonder if I should be this nervous. However, when I listened closely, I realized that it was not my heartbeat.
“…”
Lortel somehow took a deep breath as if he was embarrassed by the pounding sound, but unfortunately, the sound did not stop.
It is quite possible. I gently cupped Lortel’s chin, turned it toward me, and kissed him.
With the other hand, I supported Lortel’s lower back and slowly pushed his center of gravity toward the bed.
Lortel, who was being led by my hand as if possessed by a ghost, looks up at me from the soft blanket.
“Relax your hands.”
As I said that, Lortel seemed to realize that he was holding my forearm tightly.
When Lortel relaxed his grip, a handprint remained on my wrist. He clearly looks nervous.
“Sir Ed… Um… Well… But…”
“…”
“I… I’m asking you to do this, but I… Well… I don’t know what to do…”
I don’t have any experience. If not, it’s understandable that you’re confused. However, it is also ridiculous to give instructions here and there to do this and that.
“Just stay still. I didn’t mean to, but… I know roughly what I want…”
“Yes… um… yes…?”
“…”
Lortel has a good head.
He swallows for a moment as if he understood something just from the tone of my words.
“……”
And then I realize.
I am in a position where I have discovered all of the secret notes that Lortel usually carries around with him. It was something that could not be helped at the time. Because this was a situation that required as much information as possible.
So… it’s inevitable that I found out things I didn’t want to know.
Traces of various thoughts organized on a secret page at the back just in case someone might see them. Since it is quite an old trace, I wonder if I myself had temporarily forgotten its existence. In fact, it was more like a collection of delusions than a memo.
The girlish delusions expressed by Lortel, who has no dating experience, are bound to be somewhat embarrassing to those who do not know the circumstances.
This may make some people laugh out loud. But you can’t laugh at it carelessly. The dreams and romantic fantasies that a girl of that age harbors for the opposite sex… aren’t just things that everyone has imagined at least once, even if it’s just embarrassing to say so.
So, out of consideration for Lortel, I did not mention those notes. But… the situation has come to this, so there will be no other educational material as good as it. Above all, it is your own wish written by yourself.
…It even had details written on the earlobes and how to sweep the back of the neck… Even though it was still a bit broken…
– Boom!
Lortel suddenly stood up, pushed the bed, and swung backwards.
Then, I put my naked body against the back of the bed and started shaking. Only then did he finally remember what destructive details he had written in the notebook all those years ago.
“…ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss…sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss
…Sep Ed…. To what extent. “It’s actually a positive thing…” If you
react as calmly as possible and say it’s no big deal, the other side won’t lose their composure either.
“Well… then… then…”
“But still. Lortel. Even so… there are no conditions to prepare things like scented candles with the scent of freesia or a bath with floating roses…”
“Gyaak!”
The sight of him swallowing his screams so awkwardly makes you wonder if this is Lortel.
It was pathetic to see him pulling at the blanket and out of breath… but he seemed to be maintaining at least some sense of reason.
The sight of him gasping for breath, his face turning bright red to the limit, and his eyes wide open makes you wonder if this is the merchant who sold his soul for that gold coin.
“And… I mean… Lortel…”
“…”
“I’m sorry, but… I… compare that person’s beauty to a flower, or the light in their eyes to starlight. Or… I’m not good at saying words full of romantic metaphors… That’s… I feel a little sorry…” “
………….. ………………………….”
In short… those lines you wrote down as examples in your notebook It’s a little difficult.
The guy named Ed who exists in Lortel’s delusion seems to be quite good at saying such touching lines, but unfortunately, the real Ed Rothtaylor doesn’t have that great of a vocabulary… I could try, but
… when I think about it, it’s not that great. Rather, it feels like killing Lortel twice.
“………….”
“…………. Senior Ed…”
“…”
“……. ..please kill me….”
…I’m sorry, but that’s difficult.
This world is full of storms…
Even if it’s hard, shouldn’t we survive first?
