Episode 772: I am not human.
What is shame?
Shame is shame.
Even in the dictionary, Katabuta is written as a feeling of shame without any explanation.
The reason why that can be so is.
【This is because shame is a natural emotion.】
As Haiden said, it is a universal emotion that we feel throughout our lives.
People feel shame whether they want to or not.
I have felt this many times too.
‘If you ask me if that represents my life, I don’t know.’
However, the shame I should use is not a simple emotion, but a concept.
The room for interpretation is open.
Start with various attempts.
Doing strange things, taking off your clothes, things like that.
Haiden even invited the villagers to get the job done.
“…I pity your young friend.”
“Is there something wrong with my head?”
“But your body is strong.”
In fact, Haiden disappeared as people flocked to him.
After taking a look, drinks and snacks were left behind.
In a way, it was natural, but I didn’t feel anything special.
That’s right too.
‘I must have done so many crazy things.’
In order to survive in the tower, you had to be prepared to roll over in dog poop.
Whether rolling around in muddy water or rolling forward.
The tower is not a place where you can relax enough to move without worrying about what others think.
Taking off your clothes?
“No matter what you do, you’re better than a sexy guy.”
At least I’m not an exhibitionist.
He is an exhibitionist to the core.
Actually, when I see him do that, I get angry and feel embarrassed for no reason.
Just ignore it and that’s it.
-This body is the sexy member of the Peujing Union! A man who received Gongdu’s will! Brother, are you watching!
How can you not feel embarrassed doing this shit?
This is especially true when they appeal to me to point out and praise myself.
What can I say, that is.
“Uhm. “It feels like I want to pretend I don’t know.”
I don’t know this person.
We’re not part of the group. Don’t look at me.
okay. It feels roughly like this.
Is this correct?
After that, I tried a few more things, but there was no success.
-Crack.
After the bonfire was lit and the villagers were about to return, Haiden secretly appeared.
【You know because you experienced it. You are a fool who does not feel shame for your actions.】
“Whoever calls you a fool, you are a fool. “Is there anyone who has lived as sincerely and sincerely as me?”
【That’s not something a person who is so obsessed with weapons should say.】
Full set of felines.
The seven-colored appearance is now proud!
It’s a change of mindset.
If you are proud of yourself, isn’t it a good idea to look good on the outside?
It’s definitely not because I set mental protection max.
‘Now that I think about it, I think it was because I was embarrassed to have maxed out my mental protection.’
What kind of life have you lived?
I reflect on my past life without realizing it….
What is reflection? Everything I’ve done so far isn’t the best, but it’s not the worst either.
Because I overcame all kinds of trials with the choices I was able to make at that time.
Even if you do it now, there are only things you can do again!
cancer. Anyway.
【It seemed like there was a particularly low skill level.】
“Hmm. I’m tired. “It must have been a huge emotional burden.”
I slowly looked away.
How did this kid know?
Now that I’m a successor, I’m starting to see things I couldn’t see before.
Recent gains in demonization and absolute territory.
Except for two skills, most skills have been leveled to their maximum.
Just two. There was an exception.
[Courtship Dance (A) Lv.5]
[Fatal Pose (C) Lv.7]
It is powerful, but it can be said to be a secret technique that cannot be taken out hastily.
It’s not that I don’t want to write, so I don’t write.
It’s so destructive that it’s just wrapped tightly to be used as a secret trick!
When I glance at Haiden, I see him looking down at me with a pitiful expression.
“Does your expression look strange?”
【I’m wearing a mask.】 Even if I
cover it, you can still see it.
Hey, what’s the point if you’re wearing a mask?
The look in your eyes is irreverent.
I glared at him once and stood up.
“Let’s finish training.”
Training with this guy.
It’s not just for simple shame.
Dealing with concepts.
Properly drawing out and controlling that power is also included in the training.
The power of clashing.
The result of the struggle ultimately depends on how the being has lived and how much the concept represents life.
Those who have lived their lives comfortably without any hardships, and those who have somehow survived in their own way.
It is impossible to answer which of the two lived a better life.
Because that’s what life is like.
However, if you ask which of the two lives is easier to express in one word, it is the latter.
【I will raise my sword for you.】
Hypocrisy.
That was another concept he had.
【Please don’t disappear.】
-Guoooooo!
The guy’s sword moved.
With hypocrisy.
By putting in a force that only appears on the outside, different from the inside.
It was an attack that was neither fast nor slow, but it was sure to be a fatal blow if it was attacked as is.
I didn’t pick up the sword.
instead.
-Wooow!
[Concept anti-hypocrisy!]
Standing in front of him, he moved the concept.
-Quaaang!
The power contained in his sword wavered for a moment, but it struck the body as it was.
“Big!”
The breastplate is crushed and a sharp pain ensues.
He rolled backwards a few times, fell to the ground, and stood up again.
“again.”
Haiden silently raised his sword.
-Quaaang!
-Kwakagak!
-Cow!
Afterwards, they even attack him using concept explosions.
The exchange of attacks continued until dawn.
During the day, to look for clues of shame.
At night, to cover concepts that are already covered.
They pushed so hard, even eliminating break time.
For about a week.
“I guess it’s okay. really.”
Although we have entered the realm of superhumans, as long as we are living beings, we need adequate rest and sleep.
I’m tired from not sleeping for a long time, but I’m still rolling around.
I feel exhausted both physically and mentally.
“Yes.”
“It’s okay so I’m with you.”
He did not recover from his wounds through Deokchun.
I trusted my own regenerative ability and trained repeatedly.
Of course I couldn’t eat, and I could barely drink water using my water skill.
If you don’t drink that, you’ll die.
If there is any consolation.
‘I’ve definitely become more proficient.’
If you do anything, you will get better.
Whether it’s exercise, skill, or concept, nothing changes.
-Huung.
– Tongue.
The sword he threw by surprise lightly hit my breastplate.
Normally, I would have been hit and thrown out.
【It’s not bad at this level.】
It wasn’t anymore.
Because the concept contained in the sword was offset by the half-bone.
It would be a different story if Heiden had given his all, but that’s okay.
Neither I nor Heiden wanted to rise to that level in a short period of time.
In reality, it may be impossible.
“If we use other things, we can prevent quite a few things.”
There is no need to just use this.
Since I had demonization and absolute territory, it was correct to think that if I utilized these, I could block almost all conceptual attacks.
I was satisfied with it, but I couldn’t like it all.
“I don’t think I actually practiced being shy properly.”
There was no significant growth here.
shame.
This is largely divided into two types.
【The first is feeling ashamed of yourself. I am like that.】
Like Heiden, shame about one’s own actions.
You may have done something you shouldn’t have done or been disappointed in yourself.
It could be seen as self-loathing, and it was an area that could be dealt with by someone who deeply felt their own ugly side.
Unfortunately, this method didn’t work for me.
If you feel like you need to do something strange, do it.
That’s why it’s honest.
It was safe to say that he had high self-esteem.
There is also self-justification.
So what is the remaining one?
【Shame caused by others, that is the direction you should move in.】 Although
the boundaries are vague, the shame of being afraid of other people’s opinions and evaluations rather than one’s own remains.
Surprisingly, Haiden did not delve into this part.
There is one reason.
【Shame that can be overcome is meaningless.】
It may be embarrassing at first, but you can overcome it.
At first, I was extremely reluctant to let the members know that I was Petit Gongdu, but now I’m continuing to discuss the concept in the members’ chats.
It’s a kind of growth.
‘…I didn’t want to grow up like this.’
For some reason, the area around my eyes felt moist, but it was because dust got into my eyes.
【You know best what you are most ashamed of.】
He also knows.
Because I read my memories once before.
【You know, you tend to hide things like that from yourself. You’re doing well.】
It’s a compliment, but is it because I’m in a bad mood?
【Don’t forget. Even if it is not revealed all the time, if it is revealed when the time is right, that is enough.】
The guy taps my shoulder as if cheering me on.
【Go ahead. There is nothing more to do here.】
“Is this enough?”
I’d be lying if I said I didn’t have any regrets.
If possible, I want to go after I get used to dealing with shame.
Of course, I know I don’t have much time.
The 99th floor was still in chaos.
After a slight lull, worshipers showed signs of movement again.
“Do you have any last words or advice?”
I asked the guy in front of the portal.
I told this story because I felt frustrated because the clue was still not resolved.
He looks at me closely.
【Recall a time when you fought desperately even though your life was not at stake.】
There were many times when you fought desperately, but it was all when your life or someone else’s life was at stake.
Have I ever fought desperately when I didn’t have anything like that?
I thought about it and took a step forward.
Then he gives me something.
When I unconsciously tried to take it, he took his hand away again.
“What?”
【I can help. but. I need your consent.】
It was a very suspicious word, but the choice was quick.
Because it was right to do it if it would help.
I am in no position to hide this or that.
I have already fought the King of Worship and realized that the status quo is not enough.
【After all this preparation, if you die repeatedly from the same enemy, you wouldn’t be human.
Do you agree?】 “I agree.”
It seemed a bit harsh, but I obediently agreed.
Why make an effort if you’re just going to get hurt?
【In that case.】
Sigh.
What he gave me was something like paper, but as soon as I grabbed it, it melted and seeped into me.
I didn’t feel anything special.
There doesn’t seem to be any change?
Just as I was about to look at him with questioning eyes.
-Paang!
“evil! What!”
He pushed me into the portal.
The sudden action reminded me of a ridiculous timing system message.
[Pledges are made under a fair agreement!]
[If I die three times, I am no longer a person!]
[Some information will be made public when deaths accumulate!]
[Public information: Community nickname Community record]
[Nicknames appear above my head.]
[Deaths left until revealed: (0/3)]
My eyes widened.
Could this be this guy?
Even though it was covered by a mask, his expression was brighter than ever.
【The basis of my shame is hiding.】
He even shakes his body as if he’s going crazy with fun.
【The basis of your shame is hiding it.】
Damn hypocrite.
Are you making a promise that puts your personality on the line?
“Hey, you piece of shit—!”
-Paaaa!
Before I could finish speaking, light enveloped my body.
I remembered.
A time when I fought desperately even though my life was not at stake.
60th floor, Hall of Defeat.
It was a time when if you lost even once, your nickname was stuffed.
I gritted my teeth and fought.
-Puzzle.
And even now.
I ground my teeth.
