#556. can you give up
* * *
There was a brief commotion.
The moment I saw Limon wake up.
The process from Hasneti to trying to sing.
But the commotion was over before it even began.
Hasneti just kept his mouth shut when Limon said that he was fine, so there was nothing to make a fuss about.
“…Is your body okay now?”
Still, the anxiety remains.
Looking at Hasnetty’s quiet question, Limon smiled.
“why? Worried that you’ll wake up for a moment like a half-bird and then fall back to sleep forever?”
“….”
“Don’t worry, Pharaoh. I was just tired and fell asleep a little.”
It seems like nothing.
Limon speaking lightly.
Still, Hasneti couldn’t be happier.
He had the physical strength and mental strength to fight seven days and nights without sleeping.
The fact that he was so exhausted that he lost consciousness all day showed how fiercely he had fought in one night.
and.
Silence passed.
I had a lot to say.
Even after seeing him wake up, instead of disappearing, the feeling of guilt swelled even more.
And just by having a brief conversation, the tightening heart as if facing a bomb prevented Hasneti from opening her mouth.
didn’t want to say
I just wanted to be silent.
I hoped this time would last forever.
At least I can stay by his side until the silence is broken.
But there were enough regrets.
Because I knew the end was sudden.
And because I didn’t want to regret it any more.
with clenched fists.
Hasneti opened her mouth.
“…sorry.”
“What are you sorry about?”
“Everything.”
“Hmm.”
Even after hearing an unexpected apology.
Limon wasn’t particularly surprised.
I just said it casually while watching Jigsy Hasneti.
“Honestly, it is a bit unexpected. I was prepared to suffer all night as punishment for such an unauthorized act.”
“…”
“I’m sure he’s not a close friend… Did you hear anything from the blue guy?”
“Yes.”
“What did the blue guy say?”
while I was losing consciousness.
Hasneti answered everything to Limon, who pointed out the circumstances exactly as he had seen.
The conversation I had with Yuna-kyung.
even the mistakes he made.
The guilt and regret that filled my heart.
Looking at Hasneti, who lowered his head slightly and confided everything from beginning to end, Limon let out a slight sigh.
“Blue said a lot of useless things.”
“It is not a useless word.”
“If you hadn’t heard that, would you have continued to bully me?”
“….”
Before talking to Yuna-kyung.
If you didn’t know his heart, you knew that he would have been able to imprison him so that he wouldn’t act as you like again.
Take a moment to look at Hasneti, who can’t even answer and keeps silent.
Limon scratched his cheek.
“So what will Pharaoh do now?”
“I…”
A brief hesitation.
To say something that stings like swallowing a thorn just by thinking about it, but it must be said.
Hasneti bowed her head.
He spoke quietly.
“…I will give up on you.”
“give up?”
“Because I don’t deserve you.”
Since when was it wrong?
I don’t know the answer.
But I knew what was wrong.
Rose, Li Qingyu, Ainsha, Maia, Yekatrice, Charlotte, and Sword Art.
From the time I tried to bind him with promises and coercion instead of trying to win his heart out of fear of losing him again.
On the subject of seeking struggle.
From the point of giving up the fight.
Because he knew that he had lost the right to look at, hope for, and love him, let alone have Limon for himself.
Hasneti closed her eyes.
“You may leave if you wish.”
“….”
“Anything else you want, tell me.”
Whether it’s a stake in Apophis.
Whether it is the eternal dominion of Egypt.
Or if you want to get down on your knees and bow your head.
Limon was willing to listen to anything he wanted.
Because that was the minimum compensation she could give for him who was unilaterally betrayed even though he believed in himself to the end.
After watching her like that, I was silent for a long time.
Limon asked, tilting his head.
“You’re saying you’d do it if I told you to quit the Pharaoh’s entourage right away and never appear in front of me again?”
“…Yes.”
“Hmm…”
A short silence.
and.
agree.
“I see.”
Hasneti was taken aback.
Why?
A simple word.
It’s a meaningless word.
It was because the moment I heard Limon’s calming voice, I felt a chill run down my spine.
As if I had made some irreversible mistake.
I had already made up my mind to give up on him, so why do I feel this way?
Before she could find out why.
A calm voice was heard.
“Then take off this bandage. It’s uncomfortable because it’s wrapped up so tightly.”
“I will call the attendants slaves.”
Although taken aback by the unexpected words, Hasneti responded immediately.
And once again I was bewildered.
“Why do you call slaves?”
“…?”
“I asked Pharaoh.”
“That’s…”
A slightly tilted head.
A tone of affirmation.
It was only then that Hasneti, realizing the true intention of the request, hesitated.
Limon chuckled.
“why? Isn’t that familiar to Pharaoh?”
“….”
“You said you would listen to anything I said, but you wouldn’t say no, right?”
On the subject of stripping yourself off every day, what are you hesitating about now?
Hearing what Limon said with a refreshing smile on his face, Hasneti closed his eyes.
Just the thought of putting this hand on him again, which had soiled him until now, made me feel guilty.
However, knowing that he had no choice anyway, Hasneti had no choice but to reach out to Limon.
So….
Squeaky.
From Limon’s outstretched hand.
Follow that wrist and cuff to the shoulder.
Just like handling glass crafts that break when touched.
Hasneti felt the soreness as she carefully removed the bandage to avoid touching her bare skin as much as possible.
It was unbelievable that only a day had passed, and even though it had healed, the scars remained on the clean skin that was originally flawless.
And the bloodstains still evident on the bandages pressed sharply against her heart.
to her like that.
Limon said quietly.
“All Pharaohs make mistakes.”
“…”
“So I understand that Pharaoh was blinded by desire for a while and was trying to force himself to have me.”
In the first place, Hasneti went mad with lust because she ignored the competition and secretly hugged Rose and other princesses.
I have no intention of blaming her for being a little too obsessed with him.
Hasneti was able to forget the guilt a little at Limon’s frank words.
So it was.
The reason why she was even more shocked by Limon’s words that followed.
“But I’m disappointed in Pharaoh.”
“…!”
Hasneti was taken aback.
It wasn’t just that I was shocked as if I had hit my chest with a hammer at the words I had already prepared for but didn’t want to hear the most.
Because of the agitation, his hand, which had been unwrapping the bandage, was disturbed and ended up touching Limon’s bare skin.
Maybe it’s because I’m afraid of being misunderstood.
Hasneti removed her hand as if it had been burned.
But Limon didn’t care.
He didn’t continue quickly and just continued talking while holding out his hand to the other side as if asking what he was doing.
“Do you know why I jumped into that trap instead of Pharaoh?”
“…to save me.”
“So that’s why.”
“…”
“That’s because the pharaoh thought it was necessary for this country.”
Looking at Hasneti, who hesitantly began to carefully remove the bandages.
Limon continued.
“Pharaoh is definitely a tyrant.”
“It is supported by the people, but that is because it spreads the goods plundered in the war to overflowing food and energy.”
“I don’t know how to be selective and I’m only interested in war, and I even neglected it because I was distracted by my concubine.”
“He’s not a good king even if he yields a hundred times.”
If it had been said by someone else, I would have ignored it with a cold face as always.
Just the fact that it was Limon who said it made me feel as if I was stabbing myself in the chest with a knife, and at the same time it was painful and embarrassing enough to make me want to run away.
Even so, she couldn’t bear to run away and continued to remove the bandages.
said Limon.
“But at least this country needs a pharaoh.”
Since he is not interested in governing, he does not know how to bestow good luck, but rather does not engage in tyranny.
Although they only know war, they do not cause massacres and are not stingy in giving because they are not interested in money.
being stronger than anything.
For that one reason alone, Hasneti was qualified as a king.
It was because the king was the existence of a king who had to become a murderer who protects the people, even if he was lecherous and violent, rather than a person of character who had no ability to feed the people.
Especially in this Africa.
“Are you sorry for making me your concubine and harassing you?”
“…okay.”
“Thank you for being considerate, but I don’t really care about that.”
It would be a lie if I said I wasn’t embarrassed.
In particular, being teased in front of his disciples will be remembered as a shame he will never forget for the rest of his life.
But he is the guardian of mankind.
Whether it’s assassination, conspiracy, or crossdressing.
To him, who could do anything and did anything to protect humanity, this much was something he would end up scratching his cheek.
Rather, the problem is different.
“My disappointment is that the pharaoh has given up being king.”
“…”
“What if I really leave like this? What about Pharaoh’s country?”
If Limon disappears.
Unable to stop the Sword Master, Egypt collapses.
And Africa, which has lost its steadfast center of Egypt, will be encroached upon by the world federation, becoming more of a mess than it is now.
There’s no way you wouldn’t know that.
To Hasneti, who tried to let go of herself, swayed by mere guilt or affection.
Limon said languidly.
“That’s why I risked my life instead of Pharaoh.”
“…”
“But now you’re just going to quit everything? To the Pharaoh, were I and Egypt so insignificant that they could be thrown away on a fleeting whim?”
“…not like that.”
“If not, what is it?”
Hasneti couldn’t say anything.
It was because I could feel it through the languidly subdued voice.
Limon, who never showed any displeasure, only smiled bitterly no matter what was done to him.
this moment.
he’s obviously
that you are angry.
“So Pharaoh, look me in the eyes and say it straight again.”
Limon held out his hand.
And with a slightly bowed head.
While avoiding his eyes the whole time, he wrapped her cheeks with both hands and forced her to look at him.
smiled coldly.
“—Can you really give up on me?”
to his question.
Hasneti couldn’t answer.
The heat soared just by touching the cheek.
A sore throat that dries up just by looking at the wound-covered skin that was revealed when the bandage was removed.
His heart beat as if it would burst when he received the alluring smile and provocative gaze because it was cold.
Because he was making her realize the truth she had been ignoring in her dizzying vertigo.
“More than anything else, he said he would kick me out now that he had played with me like that until now. Do you think I will accept that?”
Proud of the country. The clan.
Even if you give up everything.
That he could no longer give up.
Like an addict who can’t forget the pleasure even decades after he’s been off drugs.
While teasing him, the touch, body temperature, scent, and voice that were even inscribed with her instincts, above all, her eyes would follow her all her life.
So she asked
“…what do you want me to do?”
Is it because of excitement?
Is it because of fear?
warble.
“I’m asking something obvious.”
“of course?”
“There’s only one thing a pharaoh can and should do anyway, isn’t it?”
Limon finally let go of Hasneti’s cheek.
Instead, sit on the bed.
said languidly.
“Win the war.”
“…”
“Then I’ll give you a ‘prize’.”
You can make fun of yourself or play with them as you please.
If you want to get yourself instead.
Or if you want to ask for forgiveness.
Suppress the civil war in the vassal country, expel the peacekeepers led by the three sword masters from this continent, and dedicate the victory to yourself.
An absurd statement for anyone to see.
Hearing that ‘command’ he dared not refuse.
Hasneti was silent.
And I thought.
Until now, she had been playing with him by binding him with promises.
no i believed it
However, even though it can run away at any time, it is a bird that stays in its cage and sings, and a beast of prey that takes care of the bird by giving it its own food instead of preying on it.
Which of the two truly owns and controls the other?
to know the answer.
in front of him sitting on the bed.
slowly on both knees
Hasneti bowed her head.
“…If that’s your wish, I’m happy.”
An African tyrant who only knew how to break and burn things.
But in guilt and regret.
The slave of love, who now knew who he belonged to, quietly kissed the instep of his master.
