Episode 1608. It’s the same when I open my eyes. (3)
I didn’t really feel like I had to chase after him. I was just looking for a place to avoid the pouring gaze.
As I was thinking of a place that is less visible than the accommodations that everyone knows about, this place suddenly came to mind. Even the appearance of Cheongmyeong, who often climbed this place alone.
Only after receiving the same gaze and walking the same path did Baekcheon come to know.
The belief that I am not wrong or that I am doing the right thing does not necessarily give me comfort.
Baekcheon slowly turned his head and looked at Cheongmyeong.
This guy has probably been under that gaze for several years already.
To be honest, Baekcheon sometimes envied Cheongmyeong.
The insight to see what others cannot see, the courage to discuss what others cannot bear to discuss.
But now I know. What a great weight that must be borne and endured.
Cheongmyeong asked.
“What about Shaolin?”
“If you are asking about the affair with the blood religion, fortunately there was no major conflict. He walked away without any regrets. And the Shaolin people said they would protect Seongsan Mountain.”
Cheongmyeong nodded slowly. Although he didn’t ask any more questions, Baekcheon didn’t bother to elaborate.
“I asked Monk Hyebang to help me dispose of the remnants of Surochae. Since you gave permission, within a few days, those remaining there will be able to leave and come to Shaanxi.”
“okay.”
Cheongmyeong calmly nodded his head again this time. This time Baekcheon asked.
“What about Monk Hyeyeon?”
At that moment, Cheongmyeong’s eyes turned towards the volcano. To the sanctuary of the volcano where no one is currently staying.
“It looks like he was locked in his room the moment he came back.”
Baekcheon’s face was stained with water.
“⋯⋯I see. “Then go and say something…”
“Leave it alone.”
Cheongmyeong simply dissuaded him. It was a short but firm voice.
“Right now… it’s better to leave you alone. “You won’t hear anything anyway.”
A short sigh flows from Baekcheon’s mouth.
“⋯⋯Okay.”
It was difficult for Baekcheon to even imagine how Hyeyeon was feeling right now. Baekcheon would also be out of his mind if the same thing happened to him.
So for now, I can only wait for Hyeyeon to wake up on her own.
Cheongmyeong said, staring into the distance.
“It will happen. Because he’s that kind of guy.”
Baekcheon looked at Cheongmyeong in silence.
Although he pretended to be indifferent, he seemed to be really worried inside. Judging by the way he spoke, it seemed like he had already snooped around the room where Hyeyeon was staying a few times.
Baekcheon took a long breath through his nose and said.
“You will.”
A delicate but strong person. Because that’s Hyeyeon.
“What happened to the room manager?”
Cheongmyeong answered Baekcheon’s question without taking his eyes off the sunset.
“well. Probably… I’ll go back. To Shaolin.”
“To Shaolin?”
Cheongmyeong nodded his head faintly. Baekcheon asked with a questioning look on his face.
“well. Could it be? How dare you bury so many people in the cold ground and return with such a face? “If it were me, I don’t think I would easily go back, even if it were because I was afraid of meeting those who remained in Shaolin.”
“Still, I’m going back.”
Cheongmyeong spoke softly.
“Because there will be nowhere else to go.”
Somehow, a small bitterness permeated me. Baekcheon couldn’t figure out where this bitterness came from.
“Then Shaolin…”
“You won’t be able to go out for a while.”
Even if the power of Shaolin still remains in Songshan, the court will no longer have the power to move Shaolin. Those who remain in Shaolin are the ones who rebelled against the court in the first place.
However, unfortunately or fortunately, those who remain in Seongsan do not have the power to drive out the court. Because Hyebang has not yet established a position to replace the court.
In the end, uncomfortable cohabitation will continue for some time.
Until time dissolves the old resentment between us and the scabs over the wound fall off on their own.
Baekcheon sighed softly.
“What is the manager thinking?”
“⋯⋯Well. “I don’t know.”
“Just a little…”
Baekcheon lamented as he looked at the distant sky and shook his head.
If only I had known how to listen carefully to what others say… so many lives would not have been lost in vain.
But for some reason, I couldn’t get those words out of my mouth. As if it was stuck around my neck.
Baekcheon caressed his neck without realizing it. It was an action that came out of nowhere due to a slight sense of discomfort.
Cheongmyeong, who caught a glimpse of this, tilted his upper body slightly, placed his weight on his arms, and opened his mouth.
“I guess you believed it.”
“⋯⋯.”
“I’m saying you’re not wrong. No matter what others say that you are going down the right path, eventually everyone will know that it is not the wrong path.”
The moment Baekcheon heard those words, he knew. What was the sense of discomfort you felt?
“That’s…”
Cheongmyeong nodded and asked.
“okay. “Is that really wrong?”
An unknown chill was felt at Baekcheon’s fingertips.
Wrong. That’s all I can say. Because it has already been proven by results. A whole day would not be enough to discuss his mistakes.
However, Baekcheon could not give a definite yes to Cheongmyeong’s question.
I can not know.
No one has any way to know until the results are confirmed. Whether the path you chose is really right or wrong.
It may be easy for those watching from a distance, but it is not so easy for those involved to come to a conclusion.
So in the end, I have no choice but to endure.
All you can do is believe that the path you are taking is right, hope that what you do is not wrong, and just move forward in silence.
It’s like…
“He must have realized it at some point.”
“⋯⋯.”
“But then it is already irreversible. I will regret it again and again. You will find yourself ruminating countless times about things that have already ended and cannot be undone. “Wretched and miserable.”
No matter how much it is, we cannot sympathize with the court. That would be the same for Cheongmyeong as well.
The reason Baekcheon cannot easily criticize someone for whom there is no room for sympathy is probably because Baekcheon has now figured it out.
A world where tens of thousands of people live where their lives depend on a single choice. The feelings of those who have to walk silently on a cliff made of blades.
Can Baekcheon say no? Is he really on the right path now?
It’s not that far off. He went out of his way to dig up a story that everyone else didn’t want to talk about.
What if it’s just a rumor? What if it just seems that way because the circumstances are right?
Then, what Baekcheon did was nothing more than destroying a union that could barely be formed from the beginning. Let doubt and doubt continue to eat away at each other.
Was that really the right thing to do? Baekcheon’s fingertips trembled slightly.
‘Courage…’
I once believed that. Courage is firmly pushing forward for what you believe is right. Courage is to stick to what is ‘right’ even if it means losing your life.
But who is it that decides what is ‘right’?
Like Baekcheon a moment ago, the court probably believed it too. There can be no mistake in the conclusion reached after much thought and deliberation.
Despite numerous concerns, he cannot abandon the ‘justice’ he has achieved.
How did the court feel when that justice dragged not only itself but everyone into hell?
You must not sympathize. It is not worthy of sympathy. Nevertheless…
“I guess you’ve become scared again?”
A clear voice was heard. When Baekcheon looked back at him, Cheongmyeong was smiling faintly with a shadow cast on his face by the setting sun.
The smile was different from the laughter he often gave when he saw Baekcheon working hard.
Baekcheon quietly answered.
“Rather than being scared… I just knew. There is no such thing as a perfect choice in this world. “No matter how hard I try and focus, there will be things I lose in the end.”
Cheongmyeong looked at Baekcheon in silence. Baekcheon continued.
“You might regret it. There will come a day when you lament that things would have been better if you had made better choices. But… no matter what the ending is, it’s better than not choosing at all.”
I didn’t say any reason.
But Baekcheon and Cheongmyeong also know.
Ultimately, someone has to make a choice and take responsibility for it. Postponing a choice ends up leaving the responsibility on someone else.
That’s why you can’t bite back the foot you stepped on.
Even if one day they become another court and end up cursing themselves, it is better than having someone else be thrown into that pain.
“So I won’t back down.”
Cheongmyeong quietly stares at Baekcheon. Now the sun had disappeared beyond the western mountains, and only the light that had not yet completely disappeared spread around him.
Baekcheon looked straight at Cheongmyeong and said.
“So it’s not your fault.”
Cheongmyeong’s lips twitched slightly. But Baekcheon was faster.
“It must have been there somewhere. “The lengths to which you were able to prevent the room leader’s choice in the first place.”
“⋯⋯.”
“You’re probably still looking for it. Because you are that kind of guy. “If you had made the right choice, if you had been able to find the way, you would think that they would not have died like that.”
Cheongmyeong’s face hardened.
“I…”
“He’s really not funny.”
“⋯⋯Huh?”
Cheongmyeong looked a little dumbfounded by the sudden criticism. Baekcheon twitched the corners of his mouth as he looked at him.
“I have no idea how much you have to think of yourself as such a great person to think like that. “Aren’t you a little strange?”
Cheongmyeong’s mouth slowly opened.
“No…”
These words themselves were not shocking, but it was absurd to hear these words from Baekcheon and no one else.
“Don’t ignore people.”
“⋯⋯.”
“Even if it was the head of the room who made the choice, it was everyone present who decided to follow it. And even if you make a mistake, we are the ones who decide to follow that mistake.”
Cheongmyeong pursed his lips.
“So, don’t give me this absurd idea that you are carrying everyone’s lives on your shoulders. “Because I feel bad.”
“Sasuk.”
Baekcheon jumped up from his seat.
“It’s me, not you, who decides how I live my life.”
And I gazed at the sky. The night is pushing out the sunset. The sunset will eventually disappear, but it will not lose its color until the end.
“So, don’t be nervous and make that unbecoming expression on your face.”
“⋯⋯.”
“I won’t wait long.”
With those last words, Baekcheon turned and started to go down the mountain.
Cheongmyeong, who had been staring blankly at the back, turned his gaze to the darkened sky.
dump.
And soon he lay down on the spot.
“⋯⋯You’re all grown up now. “You brats.”
He seemed lost for a moment, then chuckled.
Was this what hearing felt like one day when I saw him?
No, probably not. Cheongmun would not have seen him like this until the end.
Cheongmyeong led the way.
He somehow dragged the collapsed volcano, believing that it had to be brought back to life with his own hands.
But at some point, they started leading him again. No, I am urging you to do so. Don’t hold on to your ankles and hang around.
“⋯⋯Death penalty.”
When I closed my eyes, the image of Cheongmun came to mind. It’s not a kind smile. The face looks stiff.
That look is definitely…
– I won’t be able to accept this decision until the moment I die.
Cheongmyeong’s eyelashes fluttered as he closed his eyes.
This is what Cheong-myeong said to Cheong-moon, who had prevented him from going to rescue Cheong-jin in the past.
These are words I have repeated countless times and regretted just as many times. However, these are words that can never be completely erased from one’s mind.
Maybe he is still a ghost of the past.
Being caught up in the past, you know you have to move on, but you can’t take that step because you’re afraid of losing it. A pathetic being who only knows how to fiercely protect what is in his hands.
A laugh escaped Cheongmyeong’s mouth.
“Anyway… I heard you won’t be able to rest for a while.”
I got up.
Wouldn’t it be nice to know?
It doesn’t matter if you are a pathetic person who can’t get out of the mud of the past. Because there are people here now who live lives that are different from that muddy world.
That’s why it’s dazzling, and that’s why it’s heartbreaking.
The sky now has the same light as when he faced Cheongmun in the past.
But now Cheongmyeong stands where Cheongmun used to stand. So now we have to give a different answer than in past hearings.
The answer that Cheongmyeong wanted to hear the most at that time.
Cheongmyeong chuckled and took a step downward.
Cheongmun, who had been frozen in the fantasy, finally sent Cheongmyeong a soft smile.
