Episode 1226 I don’t know. (1)
Baekcheon gently bit his lip.
Is this something you hadn’t thought of? No way.
I definitely thought about it. The fact that the residents of Gangnam under the rule of the Sapaeryun will suffer hardships. And that the hardships will be harder than you can imagine.
However, thinking does not mean that you can understand, and understanding does not have the same weight as feeling.
Before I saw their lives with my own eyes and felt with my own skin what they were thinking and living, all these words were just vague and empty floating around in my mind.
But now I know.
What may be glossed over as just a single word, ‘difficulty’ by Baekcheon or someone else, is a tangible threat to those who experience it firsthand. It’s a fear so severe that you have to suppress your emotions and bow your head in humility.
Lim So-byeong glanced at Baek-cheon’s expression and shrugged his shoulders.
“Of course, I’m not saying it’s Assistant Manager Jang Moon’s fault…”
“no.”
Baekcheon shook his head with a bitter face.
“It’s not because I’m Hwasan’s Deputy Chief of Staff. I pride myself on raising my sword for the people, but I don’t understand what kind of life the people actually live, so that’s definitely my fault.”
“⋯⋯Why do you come to that conclusion again?”
Lim So-byeong scratched his head as if embarrassed.
I just wanted to let you know because I felt like I didn’t know much about the reality that the people of Gangnam were going through, but in the end, I ended up being embarrassed because I ended up discussing negotiations with Baekcheon.
“Well… I know it’s not the right topic for me to talk about this. So I hope you don’t think I’m too presumptuous…”
Baekcheon seems to understand that feeling and smiles.
“Don’t worry. Isn’t it said that Confucius also took a child as his teacher and studied diligently? It’s not like Confucius asked the child to learn because he was inferior to that child.”
“Oh. Have you read the Three Character Sutra?”
Lim So-byeong was delighted for a moment. I was surprised and happy to see Confucius’s old saying coming out of the mouths of these ignorant volcanoes.
Baekcheon smiled and nodded.
“Confucius can learn from a child, so what can I not learn from a bandit?”
“What man?”
For a moment, King Greenrim was furious and was about to curse, but Baekcheon turned his head and looked at Hyeongwook.
“sorry.”
When he suddenly lowered his head, Hyeong-wook was startled and tried to stop him.
“Warrior Mu! Why are you suddenly like this? What on earth did you do wrong…!”
Baekcheon did not list out the mistakes he had made. Because it has no meaning. Instead, he expressed only one promise.
“It won’t be long.”
“⋯⋯.”
“There is a fundamental limit to the reign of the Sapaeryeon. No matter how long the night is, dawn will come someday.”
This was also a promise to myself.
“I will try to bring that dawn a little sooner.”
Then Hyungwook smiled brightly and answered.
“Thank you! Thank you so much, warrior!”
“Yes. We will try harder. So don’t give up hope.”
Baekcheon tried to somehow convey his will to Hyeongwook. But that was then.
“Tsk.”
The sound of Lim So-byeong clicking his tongue in annoyance cut Baek-cheon off.
I turned my head in puzzlement, but Lim So-byeong’s eyes were no longer on Baek-cheon. Lim So-byeong, who was staring at Hyeong-wook, opened his mouth angrily.
“I think you misunderstood.”
“⋯⋯Yes?”
“I’m not that kind of person, but this brilliant, brilliant person in front of you here is not the kind of person who gives up on someone just because he or she is in a bad mood or gets a number wrong. Isn’t that true just by looking at his face?”
“⋯⋯.”
“So, don’t try to please me, but just tell me your true feelings. It will be much more helpful. This guy is a lot better than you think.”
Hyungwook stuttered, looking a little embarrassed.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about. I just am…”
“Do you know? If he reveals his true feelings, this situation might get better a day sooner.”
Hyeong-wook glanced at Baek-cheon. While hesitating, he glanced outside the door. As he looked at the people who were busy handing out food to people, his face suddenly became complicated and subtle.
Baekcheon realized something and opened his mouth with a stern expression.
“Please do me a favor.”
“⋯⋯Yes?”
“I’m not just trying to feel like I helped someone. It’s important for me to know the real facts in order to walk the right path. So… please, just tell me what you say.”
“Oh no. My true feelings…”
“please.”
Baekcheon bowed his head deeply. Then Hyeong-wook, who was startled, hurriedly grabbed his shoulder and stopped him.
Jo Geol, Yun Jong, and even the Namgung Dowi party group who had arrived before they knew it, saw the scene and could not bear to enter the house and just watched.
“⋯⋯I have to say it’s my true intention⋯⋯.”
Hyeong-wook, who was mumbling, let out a deep sigh.
“Sir.”
“yes.”
“⋯⋯Please don’t be too offended. The warrior seems like a really nice person, so a lowly person like you would dare to make a fuss⋯⋯.”
“I wouldn’t feel bad at all.”
“Then…”
Hyeong-wook pondered for a moment with a face that had not completely let go of the conflict, then closed his eyes tightly and opened his mouth.
“How can you believe it?”
“⋯⋯Yes?”
“How should we believe what the warrior says?”
The words that came out of his mouth shocked Baekcheon greatly. This was a different shock than anything he had ever felt.
Baekcheon looked at Hyeongwook with a blank face for a moment and then opened his mouth.
“I know I can’t be trusted, but…”
“No. That’s not it, Musa. It’s not that I don’t trust you.”
Hyungwook shook his head. Then he sighed deeply again.
“Warrior… do you know how many times we’ve heard this?”
Baekcheon could not bear to answer those words.
“Everyone is sorry. We are the ones who will help you, and we truly care about you.”
A sad smile appeared on Hyungwook’s lips.
“Those who have served in the military and those who have come from the government all say the same thing. I am truly grateful and grateful… But why are we always like this?”
“⋯⋯.”
“Where are all the people who say they care about us? Why… Why do you talk so much when life is good, but when life becomes really difficult, you don’t see them?”
Hyeong-wook asked in a defeated voice.
“You told me not to give up hope, right?”
“⋯⋯Yes.”
“Warrior… That hope really makes people suffer. We always had hope whenever we heard good things. But… I always feel that when that hope turns into disappointment. It would have been better if we had not had hope at all. “It would have been less difficult if I had just thought that it was like this.”
“⋯⋯.”
“Wouldn’t we have expected it from the beginning? We believed it. We believed it naively and completely. But… the world has become like this before we know it, and all those who told us to believe are just watching from across the river.”
Baekcheon clenched his fists. What broke his heart more than anything was Hyung-wook’s expression, as if he had already given up everything.
“They tell us to be patient and wait. But… as a poor person, I don’t understand. Why do we have to wait? Why are those prominent and great people… why are they just watching those evil enemies? Why are those who say they care about us so much? Aren’t you going to fight me?”
“⋯⋯.”
“For times like this, I tried my best to share the household items I didn’t have and give them a little bit of strength, but when something happened, everyone was like, ‘I don’t know.’
“That’s…”
Baekcheon opened his mouth to say something. But Hyeong-wook did what he had to say for him.
“Yes, I know. If you carelessly try to save a few people, you might end up ruining the Great Precepts. How would idiots like us dare guess the deep thoughts of our superiors?”
“⋯⋯.”
“But… But, warrior.”
Hyeong-wook’s eyes fell on his unconscious father.
“It’s so strange. People like you, samurai, always tell us that people like us are the most important. You took up the sword for people like us. Is that right?”
“⋯⋯Yes.”
“But… why are we always the last ones when something happens? Why are we always the last ones to be saved?”
Hyungwook’s voice grew louder.
“Why are we people who can die and suffer? Why are we people who beg like scum and live through all kinds of humiliation, but all we have to do is survive at the end?”
“⋯⋯.”
“Why us, why! Why do we have to shed tears and be thankful for the small favor that was given so generously, and why do we have to worry about what will happen next? Why?”
Baekcheon bit his lip in front of the increasingly loud voice.
“You said to have hope, right?”
“⋯⋯.”
“I’m not blaming you, warrior. If it weren’t for you, we wouldn’t be alive anymore. Thank you so much. We’re not those shameless bastards who even covet the bundle after you saved them from drowning. In this situation, “It is wrong to blame the warrior for this.”
Hyungwook quietly shook his head.
“But… But, warrior. What we have seen… and what we have experienced is too much for us to have hope again because of this gratitude. That… Yes, those are too harsh words. It is too burdensome to even have hope… .”
Baekcheon quietly closed his eyes.
How careless were these words for someone who had to curse even his own father as a useless old man in order to survive and somehow save others?
I thought I understood, but I didn’t. I thought I knew, but I didn’t.
Baekcheon opened his mouth with difficulty. It wasn’t that I had anything to say, but I still had to say something.
“I… just wanted to give you some comfort… but I was short-minded. I’m sorry.”
“Oh no, that’s not what I meant.”
“But not everyone is that irresponsible. Not everyone thinks that way. I want you to know that.”
Hearing those words, Hyungwook’s expression hardened slightly. He chewed his lips and finally opened his mouth as if he couldn’t hold it back.
“Sir.”
“yes.”
“Are you in a hurry to go somewhere to save someone?”
“⋯⋯.”
“And that would be really important, wouldn’t it?”
Baekcheon’s face hardened.
“So, you’ll be leaving soon. You’ve done everything you need to do here.”
He knew it too. What will Hyungwook say?
“I don’t know. The warrior thinks that we are people who can be saved later and who can do this much for us, but he thinks that there are more important people… Everyone is like that… We are just beings who can die in the meantime. You are handling it.”
“⋯⋯.”
“What should we believe and hope for… I… I don’t know.”
I felt like I was falling into an endless bottom.
