Episode 1090 What sin did I commit in my past life? (5)
It’s not that I don’t understand the fear they feel.
No, Cheongmyeong understood their feelings more keenly than anyone else. Because he’s already experienced it once.
When the Demonic Cult began to push into the midfield, the moment he realized the might of their power and their purpose, what captured Hwasan was a feeling of fear and pressure that made him feel like he couldn’t even breathe.
A feeling of fear that if something is not done, the central region may be destroyed. And the volcano also feels pressure to share that responsibility. The volcano, suffering from its weight, eventually came to its own feet and made a sacrifice.
That may have definitely been the right choice. As a result, Jungwon defeated the Heavenly Demon and blocked the Demon Cult. But….
‘Long sentence of death.’
Cheongmyeong asks Cheongmun, who is shedding bloody tears.
‘Do you still believe that the death penalty was the right choice?’
There is no need to hear an answer. Because the tears that Cheongmun is shedding are giving the answer.
What if there really was such a thing as a sage world, and you watched with your own eyes the downfall of Cheongmun and the shame suffered by its descendants?
Perhaps, for Cheongmun, that place should be called Infinite Hell rather than a good world. How could the world of heaven be a place where one can watch scenes that would make one feel more comfortable burning in hellfire?
And now Hyeonjong is walking that path.
Cheongmyeong opens his eyes and looks at Hyeonjong. Cheongmun’s face appeared overlapping with the face of Hyeonjong, who was sitting in front of him.
“Jangmun-in.”
“…Speak.”
“I know it’s funny that I’m saying this.”
“…You know this guy.”
Cheongmyeong’s words eased the extremely heavy atmosphere just a little.
Cheongmyeong was always like that. Even when everyone tried to stop him, he would jump into enemy territory without a single hesitation because it was his job to do. It makes no sense for him to stop Hyeonjong now.
“I thought about it for a long time, my disciple. “Why did the volcano collapse even though it upheld its cause and did what it was supposed to do?”
“….”
“Why did I have to shed bloody tears even though I did the right thing?”
Hyunjong slightly closed his eyes. In fact, that question was like an unsolvable homework for those living in today’s volcanoes.
Learn to keep your agreements. But the price of keeping that agreement was very cruel. The gap between what you learn and what you experience. That gap sometimes made them question the path they were taking.
If it were to protect others with one’s own death, everyone here would be able to do it without a single hesitation.
But Hwasan’s disciples know. What they are trying to do now is to force even those they want to protect the most into the cycle of sacrifice.
How on earth can we accept that the price of our efforts to protect our precious ones is the sacrifice of those we tried to protect the most?
Can you really die laughing?
Could it be possible for someone who watched with his own eyes the tragic scene of the deaths of all his colleagues with whom he had trained, laughed and chatted, and died smiling, feeling the joy of having prevented the destruction of Jungwon?
Now, Cheongmyeong brought up the fact that Hwasan’s disciples had been secretly trying not to mention.
“…Have you thought about it?”
“yes.”
“So… did you find the answer?”
Cheongmyeong slowly shook his head.
“I couldn’t find it, Jangmun-in.”
“….”
“I was just hoping. May we become stronger. And may they be weaker than before. So, I hope that if we repeat the same thing this time, there will not be the same disastrous results as before.”
Hyeonjong closed his eyes.
It is an empty and vain answer. However, Hyeonjong was no different from Qingming. In order not to give up the façade of consultation and representation, they simply hoped. I just hope that something worse than that doesn’t happen to aim at their necks one day.
“So when I heard that the Demonic Cult had appeared, I had to go. Not to stop them, but to check them. “To see with my own eyes how strong they are.”
Hyeonjong’s eyelids fluttered.
This is because it was possible to anticipate the gloom that Cheongmyeong must have felt upon seeing the power of the Demonic Cult with his own eyes. No, it was because I could feel it clearly in those eyes.
“…You must have been in despair.”
“yes.”
Cheongmyeong answered calmly. It was so calm that it actually made me feel bitter. A sigh naturally escaped from Hyeonjong’s mouth.
Why does this child always keep such stories inside of me?
If you were to tell me a little more about the story contained within, it would somehow help me. No… even if I can’t help you, I will try my best.
“I fought without finding an answer. “It’s better to fight than not to fight.”
“….”
“But as we fought, I found out. “Why the volcano failed.”
Hyeonjong looked at Cheongmyeong with a blank face.
“Why did you do this?”
“Because I didn’t believe it.”
“…You didn’t believe it?”
“yes.”
Cheongmyeong nodded slowly.
Cheongmun was definitely a great person. If we were to discuss his strength as a person rather than his strength as a martial artist, there would be nothing to compare it to even throughout his entire life. Even Hyeonjong, who is now recognized by Qingming, may be nothing more than a weak person if brought to Qingming.
But…
“The volcano at that time was so strong and the person leading it was so great. That’s why… That’s why Hwasan couldn’t trust anyone but himself.”
I found out only now. Why did the volcano have to carry that heavy burden alone?
Cheongmun always told him not to go out alone and to take care of his brothers. He said not to go forward alone, but to lead those who are lacking with your excellence. That was the way the hearing was conducted. But…
Cheongmyeong bit his lip slightly.
Maybe this might be the first thing he says in his long life.
“That way was wrong.”
The moment I uttered the words, my tongue became sore. Denying the hearing was no different from denying everything about the hearing. But… now Qingming had to do that bitter task.
Not for those left behind in the past, but for those living in the present.
“The reason the volcano was able to fight at the forefront was because there were people supporting it.”
The reason Cheongmyeong was able to fight at the forefront was because there were people supporting him.
“Yet the volcano thought it did everything.”
Nevertheless, Cheongmyeong thought he did everything.
“If only Hwasan had been able to look at those fighting behind him even a little…”
If Cheongmyeong had been able to look at those fighting behind him even just a little.
“The results might have been different.”
Maybe I didn’t have to lose it all.
Cheongmyeong, who had said that far, quietly closed his eyes.
The volcanoes of the time were clearly a strong and great sect. However, it was also an arrogant and self-righteous faction. He also looked coldly at those who did not understand the rightness that the volcano pursues. This is a fact that has no choice but to be acknowledged.
Cheongmun always scolded Cheongmyeong for not being able to come together. However, Hwasan, which had such a Cheongmun as its head, may also have been a sect not much different from Cheongmyeong. Because the harmony that Cheongmun spoke of was simply harmony within the clan.
Nevertheless, Cheongmyeong believed that Cheongmun was unconditionally correct.
Because Cheongmun was always the right person and was too big of a person for Cheongmyeong to follow.
But I learned it while fighting Danjagang.
There was Tang Bao behind him, but there was no one behind Huashan.
Cheongmun, whom Cheongmyeong regarded as a great mountain, was also not perfect. He too was just a human being who suffered repeatedly throughout his life.
And now, for the first time, Cheongmyeong is free from the shadow of Cheongmun that was cast over him and looks at the world. It was so warm, but it also escaped the heavy and dark shadow.
“Jangmun-in.”
“Yes… yes, Cheongmyeong.”
“When people become anxious, they forget what they have.”
“….”
“What do we have?”
Hyeonjong could not readily answer those words. What do you have…. What do you have….
A cause? discussion? Or… powerlessness?
Hyeonjong looked around at those sitting here with deep, deep eyes. And then he opened his mouth as if he had nothing more to think about.
“Volcanoes have so many things. But if I had to name the most precious and important thing among them, there would be only one.”
Hyeonjong nodded with a slight smile.
“He’s just a person.”
Cheongmyeong laughed at those words. What he wanted from Hyeonjong came out exactly.
“It’s different from the past. We have people. “There are not only volcanoes, but also people who are with volcanoes.”
Hyeonjong shook his head.
After Qingming came, Huashan gained many things. But no matter what anyone says, the biggest thing is relationships and bonds.
“It was the same for me. When I was overwhelmed by the power of Sapaelyeon, the first thing I chose was to simply increase my strength. “I could give up everything for him.”
“Yes, I did.”
“Originally, the Heavenly Alliance should have collapsed at that time. Who would want to wait for someone who has abandoned all responsibilities and stepped down in order to increase his power? But… the Lord of the House took on the burden of what we had to do and waited for us in silence.”
Qingming turned his head and looked at Tang Kunak. Tanggunak, who received that gaze, let out an awkward laugh as if he was embarrassed.
“Why did you do that, matriarch?”
“Is there any particular reason? “It’s just…”
It was a humble voice rarely heard from Tang Gunak. So, I felt that it was full of sincerity without even a doubt.
“Because we are close friends.”
Tanggunak lightly cleared his throat, as if he was embarrassed to say such a thing with his own mouth. Cheongmyeong smiled.
If then.
A time in the past when they lost something they shouldn’t have lost.
If there was a sect like the Tang family in Huashan, and if there was someone like Tang Bao in Huashan to the Qingming, did they really just watch the fall of Huashan? Did he just sit back and watch as a flock of wildcats rushed to the volcano?
No, that can’t be true. That can’t be possible.
If it were a party report, I would have risked my life to stop it. The current Tang family would not have allowed them to set foot in the mountain gate of Huashan, no matter what.
What the volcanoes of today have and the volcanoes of those days did not.
“Jang Mun-in….”
These are the words that Cheong-myeong, a disciple of Hwasan, gives to Hyeonjong, the long-time master, and the words that Cheong-myeong, the Master of the Plum Blossom Sword, gives to Cheong-mun of the past.
“What a swordsman who falters in front of a powerful enemy must believe in is his sword and the time he has spent training.”
“…yes.”
“Then what should the sect believe?”
“That’s right…”
Hyeonjong looks at the people sitting in front of him once again. And he looked at Cheongmyeong with gentle eyes and answered.
“It is the value of what I have maintained… and the confidence in the path I have walked.”
“Yes, Jang Mun-in.”
Cheongmyeong also smiled softly.
“The reason we created the Cheonwoo Alliance was because we needed people who would trust and fight for each other. “Because I believed that we would become each other’s strength and fortress.”
“Yeah, I see.”
Cheongmyeong slowly lowers his head.
“So, it’s a long story. When you are wondering what to do, think back to what Jang Mun-in has protected Hwaseong. “I think all the answers are there.”
Hyeonjong quietly looks at Cheongmyeong, who lowers his head.
What they have done. What they have kept.
“…I see what you mean.”
Cheongmyeong closed his eyes.
‘Long sentence of death.’
In the darkness, Cheongmun was still looking at him. But Cheongmun’s face is no longer filled with pain.
‘Don’t worry, the kids are better than us now.’
At that moment, a soft smile appeared on Cheongmun’s lips as she looked at him.
Cheongmyeong looked at that smile for a long time with his eyes closed.
For a long time.
