Prologue
– I have never seen someone as patriotic as you.
This was something Logan often heard from his colleagues as he traveled the world for independence activities.
But each time, his answer was the same.
– Patriotism is a mess….
There was only one thing he said to those who were confused.
– It’s just revenge.
Most people nodded at those words.
Others say it is revenge for the loss of their country. In other words, it was accepted as another meaning of patriotism.
The reality was completely different, but there was no need to explain.
Because it wasn’t a story worth being proud of.
An immature child who was expelled from his family for a crime he committed during his immature years.
It was only after struggling in this harsh world for over 10 years that he realized how pathetic he had been.
However, it was too late for reflection and regret.
When he encountered a burning family at the end of the road to ask for forgiveness, he shed bloody tears and swore revenge.
Family revenge.
And…
the revenge that took away even the chance to ask for forgiveness.
In the passage of time, I forgot which one came first.
just.
– At least one more guy. Just a little bit more.
Every day.
Regretting the past.
I just continue my life with one purpose.
A life in and of itself a life of asceticism.
When I felt that such a burdensome life was finally coming to an end.
A miracle happened.
Episode 1: I had a long dream.
Memories of happy childhood days.
A bad time when I was consumed by jealousy and committed evil acts.
The regret I finally realized when I was kicked out and wandering around.
The war that destroyed the family and the despair I felt while watching it.
And decades of trying for atonement and revenge.
And until the very end.
The only thing that came to mind at every moment of my life was the final death.
Because I gave big shit to the shittiest of the shitty guys.
However, the biggest regret that permeated my life was one that I could not shake off even after death.
– I should have asked for forgiveness.
Even if it was a disaster that he could not have helped with his own meager strength, he should have asked for forgiveness for the sins he committed.
So I hoped for the last time.
Now that I’m dead, I hope to meet my family in the afterlife.
I hope we can meet each other as we were back then and ask for forgiveness so that our families can recognize us.
And that moment.
Jjiing.
“Ugh!”
The intense headache made me groan out loud.
The moment I let out a moan, I felt something strange.
pain? moaning?
‘I’m alive?’
My eyes suddenly opened and my body jumped up.
Throbbing.
“Ugh!”
Once again, I clutch my head in pain of unknown origin.
“Confucius?!”
“The Archduke has awakened!”
“Inform your superiors!”
When I heard the bustling sound, I looked around and saw familiar yet unfamiliar faces.
That time when I looked at them blankly in an incomprehensible situation.
“Are you okay, Confucius?”
A familiar face that I could not forget came before my eyes.
A brown-haired young man with a playful face.
Logan asked blankly as he looked at his eyes, which were the same color as his hair.
“…Rick?”
“Yes? Yes, Prince. This is Rick. How are you feeling? Huh? Prince, your eyes…? Can you see this?”
A familiar voice chattering.
His personal servant Rick, who had already died over 30 years ago, was looking at him with concern in front of him.
And with the same face as back then.
“how…?”
“Oh my gosh, Gongja! Call the doctor! I heard you’ll be fine!”
As I looked at Rick with a blank expression on my face, unable to understand the situation, the surroundings became more and more noisy.
‘What the hell is this…’
Logan looked around with blank eyes, and the sight he had longed for came into view.
“ah…?”
The training hall and mansion visible from the window.
An old castle wall in the distance and a glimpse of knights.
The same pattern was engraved on all of them.
flame.
It was a symbol of the McLane family.
Although he was just a nobleman from the small border kingdom of Grandia, he was a family he was infinitely proud of.
The scene I had longed for so much was unfolding before my eyes in its original form.
‘Is it a dream…?’
Rick’s voice soon got louder as I stared blankly at the scenery outside the window, distracted by the noise around me.
“Confucius? Confucius, can you see this?! Oh my, our Confucius! Hurry up and call the doctor!”
Rick, who had been his personal servant since childhood, made a fuss whenever he moved even slightly.
and.
“First of all, the doctor said that you must rest absolutely, so don’t overdo it…”
The maids also added to Rick’s fuss.
It was a time when I was confused by a scene that was difficult to accept as reality.
Sigh.
The door to the recovery room was opened carefully.
“Brother Tongue. Are you okay?”
Logan’s head turned at the sound of a voice he couldn’t ignore, even as his mind was spinning.
A slightly open door.
The boy, who still had chubby cheeks as if all his breast fat had not yet gone, was carefully sticking his head in.
The boy’s red hair and eyes looked exactly like Logan’s.
“…Ronian?”
A younger brother with monstrous talent who beat the 19-year-old, who had been training as a knight for 10 years, only 3 years after picking up a wooden sword.
There was a time when I cursed and envied him endlessly.
And when I heard of his death in his later years, he was a younger brother whom I felt infinitely sorry for and missed.
‘This…’
Jjiing!
“Ugh!”
“Confucius! You still need to calm down.”
“This Confucius, please go back.”
As I grabbed my head from the sudden headache that came again, Rick blocked the door.
He hurriedly sent Ronian out with a puzzled expression, but he was constantly watching his own thoughts.
Looking at that scene, Logan felt déjà vu.
Bandages wrapped around his head and pain.
And Ronian’s youthful face.
The familiar feeling of déjà vu eventually brought out old memories.
If this is really real, now.
‘The time when we had our first official sparring…’
A day when the feelings of self-destruction and inferiority that had been building up for three years rose to their peak amidst the surprise of the knights and retainers.
He verbally abused his younger brother, who came to his hospital room.
– go away! How dare you talk about a bastard…!
It was an extension of the abuse and verbal abuse that continued for three years.
However, those words were also the words that made his younger brother, who had followed him despite all kinds of mistreatment, no longer look for him.
And in his later years, he regretted this moment until just before his death.
So I was even more confused.
‘Is it a dream again? No, do you still dream even if you die? Besides, this pain….’
“Keuung….”
But it couldn’t stay like this.
‘Even if this is a dream, especially if it’s a dream.’
Just as I have hoped for for decades.
It may be useless, but I wanted to relieve my conscience.
“It’s okay. Ronnie, come in.”
“Confucius?”
“That’s it. Come here Ronian McLane.”
The boy’s expression brightened at those words.
“I’m really sorry, brother. I should have been more careful…”
Ronian, who ran to Logan like the wind, stood in front of his bed and repeatedly lowered his head.
Shorter than his peers.
An innocent-looking face and an even kinder personality.
This guy is really sorry even though it could easily happen during a sparring match.
It was so funny that my past self resented and envied this guy.
“It’s okay. It’s okay, bro. You don’t have to keep apologizing like that.”
The boy’s expression of confusion at the hand ruffling his hair and the warmth he felt in his own hand were so real.
So I really wanted to say something I couldn’t say in my previous life.
“You didn’t do anything wrong. Not at all.”
“But…”
“Rather, I…”
I wanted to keep smiling and talking if possible.
When I remembered the memories from that day on, I couldn’t do that.
He remembered what he had done to his younger brother, who was completely broken and was becoming more and more vicious.
He was stripped of his successor status, placed on indefinite probation, and eventually kicked out of the family.
The memories that followed were filled with regret.
“I’m… I’m… keuhmm.”
“…older brother?”
Even though I thought it was a dream, my mind was so choked that memories of the past or the future that followed naturally came to mind.
‘This guy died like that.’
The younger brother led the family in place of his father, who passed away in the early days of the imperial war, and always fought on the front lines according to the orders of the kingdom.
Because of this, the power of the family, which had already declined, diminished endlessly.
The royal family took refuge in another country, taking advantage of the family’s power to block the imperial army.
Eventually, he was captured by the Empire, tortured, and publicly executed.
He died miserably after being thoroughly exploited.
do not do that.
never.
As I was overcome with tears, I naturally gained strength in my hands as I hugged my younger brother.
“I’m sorry Ronnie. I’m so sorry about you.”
Words of atonement that I could not say in my past life.
The pain in my heart turned into tears and flowed down.
“Brother Tongue? Why are you crying…”
“I’m sorry. I’m really sorry.”
There were many things I wanted to say, but only one came out.
The big young man cries endlessly.
Instead, the little boy who was sobbing loudly patted the back of his older brother, who was much bigger than him, with his small hand.
A short and long time passed like that.
– I’ll come visit you again, brother.
Ronian returned with a smile.
Leaving behind the scene that surprised everyone who was watching, he prayed with earnest hope.
If this is not a dream, if I really have returned to the past.
It would change everything.
And closed my eyes.
When I opened my eyes again like that.
Logan silently cheered when he realized he was still alive in the past.
* * * Warm sunlight shining through the window.
The sound of chirping mountain birds brought in a refreshing breeze.
Logan woke up, got up from his bed, and looked down at his body with disbelief.
There was no trace of the numerous scars he had acquired from 10 years of mercenary life and 20 years of independence army activities, and his knees, which often felt sore when he woke up in the morning, were just fine.
“…It’s not really a dream.”
Decades of memories.
And until the last moment.
-Where is the holy relic?!
– Dare to take the imperial treasure!
– Let’s die together!
Wow!
Grrrr.
I vividly remember the pain of my whole body being torn apart.
I am clear now. was alive
Burrr.
My fists suddenly tightened, and my limbs trembled from the shiver that passed through my whole body.
The past I wanted to look back on so much.
Here is a chance to change all that.
Of course, there were unanswered questions.
‘What on earth happened?’
According to common sense, this could not have happened.
Even in theology, the realm of time and space is considered to be the realm of the Creator God, who is no longer involved in the world.
If you go around bragging that you have returned from the future to the past…
‘At least treat me like a crazy person. In the worst case scenario, you will be caught by the church for blasphemy.’
But what does this situation mean now?
“Oh my…”
I can only guess one thing.
‘That explosion. It was a lot more powerful than I thought. But…’
Does it make sense to return to the past after being killed in an explosion?
I have seen hundreds of people face similar deaths on the battlefield.
Could it be that these people have all gone back to the past? This is nonsense.
‘Keueuung.’
Even after holding my head and thinking for a while, I couldn’t come up with an answer.
at last.
“…Let’s put it aside.”
I deliberately spoke out loud and shook off useless thoughts.
If there is no answer even after thinking about it enough, I don’t think deeply about the problem anymore.
It was one of the wisdoms of life I gained while treading the thorny path for decades.
It was time to think about what needed to be done right away rather than worrying about things that would never come up.
The first thing you need to do is….
Sigh.
“hmm?”
“Hi! Go Confucius!”
At that moment, the eyes of the maid who carefully opened the door and came in met his.
At the same time, the maid, who had frozen as if frozen, soon trembled and lowered her head.
“Lord Confucius. Please forgive me.”
“Hmm? Why do you do that?”
The maid’s reaction was so strange that I just asked her back, and her face turned even more pale.
“I’m sorry! I’ll be more careful next time!”
No what?
I was so confused as to what I was sorry for that I couldn’t say anything.
And in the meantime, Rick came running in from somewhere with a clattering sound.
“Oh, my Mary woke you up. I forgot to warn you. I’m sorry, Prince.”
The sight of Rick blocking the maid’s path and gesturing behind her seemed all too familiar.
And only after seeing that image, forgotten memories came to mind.
– I told you not to make any noise in my room! Even the maids ignore me?! Just these!
Wow!
– Ouch!
– Confucius! please!
“Ugh.”
Scenes that come to mind like fantasies along with a throbbing headache.
Small evil deeds that had been forgotten and buried under the great sins he had committed came to mind one after another.
Excited.
It feels like the headache has moved into my chest.
My face heated up with shame.
“ha.”
“Now, my prince. I will give that child special attention. Don’t get excited…”
“No, that’s not it. You said Mary… right?”
“Oh, that’s right. Come here and apologize quickly!”
My face became hotter when I saw Rick running wild.
“stop!”
“No, Master. I will take care of it…”
“Stop it. That maid has done nothing wrong!”
“Yes. So I said yes? What did you just say?”
ha.
A sigh came out of my mouth.
“No, that’s okay. Rick, get some paper and a pen. As much paper as you can.”
“…yes?”
“Didn’t you hear?”
“Oh no. What are you trying to do to Mary with paper and pen…”
“…No! Just let her go! Just bring it back!”
Now my face was so hot it felt like it was going to explode.
The beginning of a new life was not so smooth.
