Chapter 74. Other End (1)
Okay. know.
There are definitely times when something unfamiliar is better than something familiar.
The fact that there are such times means that ‘there are’ or ‘there are not’. That means that in most cases, unfamiliar things are not pleasant.
‘Kyrie.’
‘yes. ‘Your Majesty.’
‘What happens after a person dies? ‘Have you ever thought about it?’
‘a lot.’
‘What do you think will happen?’
‘I’ve never come up with an answer.’
‘why.’
‘Does it have any meaning?’
‘Is there no meaning?’
‘Raise Cinasta on the grave, or float Annerusia on the river. It is said to be an act of comforting the departed, but we do not know whether they really accept Sinasta and say goodbye, or whether they walk away following the light on Anne Lucia and truly receive comfort. ‘I don’t know anything.’
‘yes. ‘I don’t know anything.’
‘yes. Isn’t it just something the living created to accept separation from the dead? Then, wouldn’t thinking about what happens to those who have ended their lives have no more meaning than self-satisfaction for the living?’
I am not happy with unfamiliar things.
In general, not everyone is happy.
‘I thought the King was thinking the same thing as me.’
‘It’s meaningless to think or mourn after death?’
‘yes. That’s right.’
‘Why did you think that?’
‘The King has not yet placed Sinasta on the Blue Warbler’s grave. So that’s what I thought.’
‘Did I do that… I don’t really remember.’
‘It’s already been a year. As time passed, whenever he had time, he went there and emptied his liquor bottle. ‘You haven’t taken Sinasta with you even once.’
‘Not for that reason. That’s because grandiose flowers like cynasta don’t suit Aila. ‘Aila, you’re already pretty even without something so loud on your head.’
‘My lord.’
‘huh.’
‘The blue warbler is dead.’
I am never happy with unfamiliar things.
‘… Is that so?’
‘yes. Dead. ‘A year ago.’
‘Yes… Aila is dead. That’s how it happened.’
‘I know how many people the King thinks of when he looks at the grave of one blue warbler. The people the King personally killed and even Devlan. I know that it seems like they are all buried together in that grave. ‘You need so many Synastars that you can’t even climb all the way up to the grave, but I also know that you can’t do it because you think that no matter how many Synastars you raise, it won’t be of any use.’
‘……Did I even talk in my sleep? ‘Why do you know me so well?’
‘My lord.’
‘huh.’
‘The reason people place Sinasta on the graves of the departed is not because they do not know that it is meaningless. It is not because we have meaningful thoughts about what happens to the dead person. Even though people know everything, they still do such meaningless things. That’s because you have to let them go at least that way to survive.’
‘But I want to live.’
‘I do it because I want to live.’
‘If I do that, will I survive?’
‘If you do that, you will survive.’
‘Will you survive if you do that?’
‘Somehow… I survive.’
‘Then Kirie.’
‘yes. ‘Your Majesty.’
‘If you let me go like that, I will. After that. ‘Who do you blame and who do you ask for forgiveness?’
Devlan is dead. And the blue warbler died.
The blue warbler died as if it were payment for the many lives that died for no reason. He died so proudly, as if to experience for himself what he had done, as if to realize for himself what it means to never return.
‘Can’t a king live without someone to blame and ask for forgiveness?’
‘I lived to protect my brother. After protecting them, resentment and atonement remained…’
The world that came after those two died and disappeared was unfamiliar. It was something I had never thought about. There were no more lives to kill for no reason, and there were no more lives to desperately protect. There was no longer anyone to blame or anyone to whom one could receive atonement.
‘If I let go of resentment and atonement as I please. Now then, where should I live?’
Unable to endure that unfamiliar world, he summoned a ghost every night.
Devlan came by every night. Many people came to remember the Blue Warbler without forgetting a single one.
I complained every night. I asked for forgiveness. After waking up, an unfamiliar day with nothing left began again. After surviving that day, a ghost would come to visit me without fail.
‘Do you remember the knight of Tensil who was shipwrecked and washed up dead not long ago?’
‘I remember.’
‘Is there any difference between the King now and him?’
‘Is there any difference?’
‘Is there any difference between the King who lives holding on to resentment and atonement because he has nothing to live for right now, and the person who drank sea water because he had nothing to drink right now? In the end, you will dry up and die, so what difference does it make? So stop drinking salt water. ‘Why do you keep swallowing?’
Kyrie said so.
‘At least spit it out. That way you can breathe. That’s how you live. Even if it’s just occasionally, please… come out of the water and vomit.’
He told me to spit it out.
He said if you have to swallow it, do it.
But Bern did not do that.
It has dried up. I went crazy.
As if it was falling apart little by little. As if it is being chipped away. As if it was being erased.
* * *
The sky, which had been dyed red, shone blue.
It was beautifully colored, conveying signs of regret at leaving the day just before the dark night or joy at welcoming rest. All the colors that exist between red and blue were mixed together as if they were all in one place.
Meanwhile, I just watched my brother sitting with his head down.
If you insist that this is all because of you, they will refute it by saying, ‘Why is it because of me? It’s because of Brissen, Sillike, and Lemain.’ If you argue and say that it’s all because of me, ‘Why is it because of you?’ ‘It’s because of it’ I’ll explain it to you.
Fools can’t even say that to each other.
– …… Tuk.
I was unable to say my final goodbyes to Silike.
Failure to prepare Annerusia for Silike.
‘I’m sorry.’
I just told him what I had been putting off.
– Tuk. Tuk.
There was nothing more to say to the peas, who were only giving salt water to the healthy flowers, so they kept their mouths shut. Now, all I could do was listen to the sound of salt water dripping onto the flower petals that I was barely able to spit out.
I kept seeing only the shadows that continued for a long time in the dazzling sunset light and then disappeared into darkness.
So that the sunset sky turns blue.
So that the longer shadow becomes darker.
He stayed by my side in silence for quite some time.
– Tap… tap.
Then, at some point, I noticed that the sound was quieting down. A little later, I realized that the flowers had stopped getting wet and that I could no longer hear the sound of tapping petals to my bright ears.
Just like that, the crying stopped quietly.
The silent vomiting stopped without a sound.
Calian let out a long, silent sigh. Then he turned his head to look at Planz and smiled faintly. This is because I noticed that the pea kept sitting still with its head down.
Brother, you may not have known this because it was your first time crying, but in fact, people’s eyes swell after crying. Since I don’t have Hina and two circles have been created on my heart, I won’t be able to go to a healer. I decided to have a meal with my fiancé, so I’m sure Lirie is still there. Brother, if you keep lying down like that, your eyes will only swell more. It’s really instantaneous for Lucy to look like the frog she was catching. Are you going to eat with Riri with a frog face? Should I at least teach you how to compress your eyes?
I was thinking about saying something like that.
“Planz.”
“…… why.”
little bit more.
Just a moment more.
Instead of Kalian, he spoke again in Bern. But I couldn’t speak for a while. There was a time when I comforted Jan who was letting out all of his inner thoughts, but I was a bit lost on how to deal with a guy who just cried without saying a word.
“I wish I had called.”
If you call me, say something.
The pea that said this raised its head.
Bern, who saw that, forgot to answer and frowned.
“…… and.”
It didn’t swell.
Vern was looking at Vern with light green eyes that were not as swollen as the eyelids and had the appearance of having just had cat hair removed from his eyes.
It is unfair. The guy who cried a lot, his eyes are fine. No, I even heard the sound of a toad from my Hina, but why is she so fine?
“why.”
“no.”
“What.”
“I just felt unfair for a moment.”
“what.”
“There is such a thing.”
What is it? Sispanian knew that the pale guy would be the youngest, so he generously gave me the remaining blessings, so I guess mine were a little lacking. I guess he was wondering if there would be a third child. Sispanian probably didn’t expect that one of your descendants would be such a mule-like, cow-like, non-existent guy, and that he would have three sons.
I, who am very understanding, should understand.
“My younger brother said that. You asked me to talk to you without even saying that it was unfair.”
“That’s right. Your brother.”
“You too. Shouldn’t you tell me what’s unfair and let’s talk about it?”
“… I feel like I’ve only been talking about myself since a while ago. I’m here to comfort you, but it’s not your place to be curious about me, right?”
“Does it matter?”
“Does it matter?”
Bern, who answered as if repeating the words, looked at Plantz.
There’s still some time left until the dinner date, and that guy probably doesn’t want to show off in front of Riri by showing a cat’s fur in his eyes. It wouldn’t be a bad idea to talk a little more. That’s why I thought that way.
“There are many things that are unfair to me, too.”
And then he opened his mouth like this.
However, instead of saying it was unfair because your eyes weren’t swollen, I came up with something else. Since he doesn’t know how to fully reveal what’s on his mind and just keeps trying to learn, the only way he can do it is to show it first until he realizes and learns how to let out his true feelings.
“When I fell into the sea for the first time, when I picked up a knife without being able to convince myself for the right reason, and when I found out that a blue bird that I thought would be forever beautiful had died. It was unfair.”
“…… okay.”
“Well, it’s not just the big things that are unfair.”
“then.”
“It was unfair that my older brother didn’t give me the money he had bet on and pretended not to know. I also felt very unfair when my older brother suddenly came to me one day and told me, ‘I can’t watch you anymore, so get out of the palace.’”
After saying this, Bern raised his finger and pointed it once at the sky and then at his own ship.
“It was just this time. When I started getting hungry.”
“…I’m hungry.”
“It was even more unfair because I was hungry. No matter how much you kick people out, you still have to give them food before sending them out.”
Nod.
I can’t believe I thought about starving that guy.
The purple-eyed king is definitely a terrible guy.
“And. On the cliff.”
“Why the cliff?”
“Your brother once told me that there was a time when I fell off a cliff after drinking.”
“There was.”
“After leaving the palace, I started out on the road without any help. I was walking day after day as if I were going to survive, but a rocky cliff blocked my path. As I was looking at it, I felt a sense of jealousy. Just because I left the palace, I was wondering if something was blocking my way.”
“You can just go back.”
“It was after drinking.”
“… I understand.”
“Okay. Anyway, so I climbed up, wondering if I could get past that one thing. I felt good after everything went up. Then what would I have done?”
“Drinking.”
“Okay. I happily sat down and had a few drinks.”
“I was drunk.”
“I woke up while climbing the cliff. So I drank more. After drinking half of my drink, I was about to go down to the other side, but I felt a little sad. Then what would I have done?”
“Alcohol.”
“That’s right.”
Who taught me that?
He’s really smart.
“So I thought I should just have one more drink and took out the bottle, but my hand slipped.” “I was drunk
. ”
“No, I said I slipped. I slipped and missed the bottle. So I took a step to catch it and rolled down.”
Bern said this and held up a thumb.
“It took a long time to go up, but it came down very quickly.”
Plantz let out a long sigh as if he had asked a pointless question.
Bern grinned and continued,
“I lost my mind when we all came down, but I remember that clearly. “I came down really fast.”
“… Yes.”
“Then I opened my eyes and there was strange grass all over my body and everyone asked me if I was crazy, why I climbed up there and why I drank alcohol. . Not knowing that I was the king, everyone believed that I was drunk and ran away.”
“It’s true.”
“Oh, of course I was crazy. It’s true that I was a little drunk. But obviously I didn’t roll over because I was drunk. I fell while trying to grab the bottle. It would have been less unfair if I had heard those words after I had finished drinking.”
“That… is unfair.”
“That’s right. That’s unfair.”
“At best.”
“At best. That’s harsh. People are a group of people who feel wronged over everything that is not that big of a deal.”
Bern said this and pointed at Plantz.
“So, it’s okay for you to feel wronged about anything, too.”
“Anything.”
“Except for bullying your younger brother and ignoring him. ”
“…… I know. “That is.”
“Then you should also know the opposite. “If you leave out that, it’s okay to be unfair about everything.”
I told him that not because I didn’t know that he wasn’t the type of person who would feel unfair about that, but because he was someone who didn’t know what in the world to consider unfair. Just as a teacher informs the scope of the final test.
Planz, who had been silent for a while, spoke up.
“Cuffs. “It wasn’t stolen, but it was misunderstood as such.”
“It seems like you think that you changed it without your brother’s knowledge and that it was an exchange of your own accord. It’s okay to feel unfair. I made it for my birthday, but instead of something that wouldn’t have suited ‘me’, I changed it into something that would look better on ‘me’.” I guess I made a
cuff that would look good on Calian because I wanted to take care of Bern’s birthday. Instead, I gave it to Bern. It would be okay to change it to a more suitable cuff.
“I didn’t get to see Anne grow up properly.”
“You asked to go to Secretia yourself. You can feel unfair about that too.”
“The reason my younger brother keeps talking down to me is…”
“That’s because you’re young… but. You can feel unfair.”
Plantz chuckled.
There are a lot of words attached to each thing that is considered unfair, but in any case, it is permission for Plantz to consider it unfair in his own way. It is permission that it is okay to feel unfair about anything, really. So.
“… Okay.”
“Okay.”
“Calian.”
“Why… Yes.”
My face looked like what would happen if, not only my humanity, which was already torn to pieces, but my personality as well, went crazy when I tried to fix that guy? Calian looked at Planz.
So, what can I do?
If it breaks into pieces, my smart brother will pick it up and put it back together.
“I. It’s not Brisen.”
I saw light green eyes that were clearly human’s, and the light purple eyes that were said to not be human’s. The broken and shattered pieces were shed a little and the dry things that were shaken off a little began to shine again and ripen well again. I looked at his thin pea-like eyes.
“Are you stating the obvious? “Someone grew peas.”
“So. Kalian.”
Pea, who turned a blind eye instead of barking, continued.
“I. There is no need for Vriesen.”
Calian looked at Plants.
It wasn’t just Plants that left Vriesen behind. Of course, the family needed it for Plantz’s safety, but they couldn’t destroy that huge thing right away, so they left it as is. . They did not know Serenti’s arrangement or the reason why Plantz turned the axis of time, so they left
it as is to prepare for it. They said that they did not touch it in order to give it to Plantz intact so that their power would soon become Calian’s.
Plantz had already A fact you know well.
A fact that was told to Plantz as a notification without asking for his opinion.
He never said those words again.
“Yes.”
“I can make a replacement for Briesen.”
Plantz said of Calian . He pointed to his hand.
Bern’s hand, a large hand full of scars. The hand eventually had a new scar on it. He opened his mouth as he looked at that hand.
“So close it together. Brisen.”
After a long period of discussion, he came up with an opinion.
“Whether it is force or military force. I will make as much as I can and give it to you.”
Instead of informing, persuading, not resisting, he finally started talking.
“If that happens, you will have a lot of unfair things to do.”
“I know.” ” It’s not just silique,
it’s even Brysen. Through Evan and Lennon, to Brissen. Not only Gray and Rashid, but all of Brisen were not satisfied with anything and betrayed all of them. They said they destroyed everything. Even that appearance resembles a silique. The resemblance is so striking that they even raise their heads without knowing the end. “I will definitely say that.”
“I let go of my mother’s hand and hide in my brother’s shadow, saying I will live alone.” Put Brisen on your back again as you feel comfortable. Even if there is one more thing added to it. It doesn’t matter.”
“Have you forgotten everything I’ve told you so far?”
“I’m sure your brother will figure it out and keep his mouth shut.” ”
No matter what.” “Even if
you keep your mouth shut and your fingers bent, if there’s something handed to you. I’m sure you will listen to me even if I say that it is unfair.”
“Who?”
“Are you asking the obvious?”
Plantz’s lips rose.
“Either my brother or not. My friend is such a fucking idiot. Anyone would listen. Isn’t it?”
Calian looked at Plantz again. He
stared at Plantz for a long time with sharp starlight that made it impossible to even guess what he had forged.
“If you think so…”
He answered quietly. – Clack.
Soon
, Calian took off the bracelet that had been used for today. The
long hair that had been lying on the ground gradually became shorter. The wind blew in the snow field of the great desert that was said to not melt no matter how much time passed. Little by little, the same light became darker. As if losing its light and being immersed in darkness, as if walking in the darkness chasing the light. No, rather. It
sparkles with a black light that will no longer be submerged, stained, cut off, or faded.
Little by little, the scarred hand It has changed. Instead of the wounds that left numerous marks, it has been replaced with a long white hand with one wound that will soon heal again and one wound that has already healed. Calian raised his red eyes and
looked at Plantz.
“I will get rid of Brisen… … Willingly.”
He answered his brother.
* * *
Complete darkness had descended.
Those who finished the day a little late sat around the table and started eating, and those who finished the day early were time to return to their rooms.
“Would you like to go to the study or the bedroom?”
The person who was asked gestured with his chin.
The sharp jaw line pointed toward the bedroom.
“Yes, Marquis. I’ve finished tidying up, so please come inside.”
Gray looked down with fearful eyes at the waist bending too deeply and took a step forward. The butler following him opened his mouth again. I know it’s a useless question, but I’m waiting for a useless answer. He asked in a voice full of formality.
“Can I prepare tea or alcohol for you?”
“No need.”
After saying a few useless words as if exchanging a set question and answer, Gray entered the bedroom. And followed me. I bit the butler who was trying to come in and closed the door.
That’s because I couldn’t trust anyone.
In this house, I always prepared a sword that might come at any moment and was always on guard for poison that might be contained somewhere. I couldn’t trust anyone.
“Ha. ……”
I let out a long sigh.
It wasn’t like this when I was in Margin Baekryeong.
So this is it.
“Oh my. It looks like you’re still going through a lot of trouble because of me.”
This…
everything.
“Gray Brisen. Marquis.”
Gray narrowed his eyes.
The culprit of all of this.
The black cat with red eyes had once again come to Gray’s bedroom.
Gray, who had been bitten with pains to the bone, made a delicate face. And his calm demeanor. He bowed his head and said hello.
Because he knew that Calian would not be able to kill him right away. Because he believed so.
“Anyway. “I’m guessing something.”
The black cat smiled happily, as if he had read my thoughts, and opened his mouth.
“What do you mean?”
“You and your son. One is no longer needed. I was worried about which of the two I should kill later to gain greater benefit for myself.”
Then he said,
“Who should I leave behind? No matter how much you think about it, that guy is that guy. What should I do with this?… I couldn’t erase those worries, so I came back again. If I become a person who knows how to listen to the opinions of the parties involved, won’t I be a good king in the future?”
With a delicate face as if he was contemplating which of the delicious fruits in both hands to eat first.
“So, tell me, Marquis. “I will listen carefully… willingly.”
He asked a truly useless question.
