If I Can’t Debut, I’ll Get a Deathly Disease Episode 525
Steer Kim Rae-bin’s life wasn’t bad.
Of course, the group he belonged to suffered from bad news, and he was unable to create or produce his own songs in the direction he wanted.
It weighed heavily on my heart and sometimes caused insomnia.
However, Kim Rae-bin had a family to confide in, and on nights when his schedule wasn’t full, he would usually talk on the phone from the veranda.
– You don’t have to worry too much, Lavin. Originally, all social life was like that. Social freshmen can’t do what they want to do.
His older sister often comforted him like that, citing examples of herself in a similar situation, and added words of encouragement at the end.
– As time passes, you will have another opportunity to do what you want.
And Rabin Kim believed that.
He ended the call by saying thanks and regards and carefully returned to his room from the veranda.
Then, sometimes, I got criticized.
“Don’t stay out too long.”
“sorry.”
Ryu Cheong-wu just nodded and passed by, and it was common for Kim Rae-bin, who was nervous, to let out a sigh of relief.
‘It’s not bad though.’
Kim Rae-bin was good at finding the good points in any situation.
“Kim Raebin, go to sleep!”
“You go to sleep too.”
In this group, there was a friend of the same age who had been a trainee since they were in their teens. For some reason, it was a pleasure for him, who had difficulty getting close to his peers.
And once you debuted, you experienced various stages and gained the experience of releasing a song.
‘Overall, my situation is a thankless one.’
He thought so, and did his best to continue his activities without sinking into depression or despair like some other members.
The years passed as if it would never end, and soon came to a clean end like a lie.
group breakup.
-Goodbye Cha Yujin.
Burnout of exhaustion came to Kim Rae-bin inevitably. It was only natural that I poured out my best effort for 5 years.
However, Kim Rae-bin was not buried.
‘Let’s rest for a bit and carry out as planned!’
Because he has already made up his mind about a new career path.
Singer songwriter!
Even though Steer came to an end after a not-so-great promotion, he still had enough energy to go on tour and sell hundreds of thousands of albums, albeit in a small way.
With the money saved there, apart from sending it home, he could invest in equipment and set up a decent studio.
‘And if I get a chance, I want to challenge myself to work with a song that I made the way I want.’
There were so many things I hadn’t tried yet. You will be able to do more!
Kim Rae-bin thought so and went back to Gangwon-do and melted into a peaceful daily life.
Until then, he was slowly recovering.
-Cheongwoo Ryu: How are you?
It was the same when I received a text message from the elder who was the leader of the group about 15 days later.
‘ah.’
Raebin Kim reflexively straightened his spine and tried to maintain a state of rapid tension, but when he realized that he didn’t need to do that, he forcibly relaxed.
‘yes. I am doing well. Thanks for asking….’ While writing such texts, he suddenly realized that he could now freely use his smartphone.
Specifically, the Internet.
-Rule 3 Do not access SNS without permission.
During group activities, Ryu Chung-woo watched his team members with tight discipline like a boarding school, so naturally, Kim Rae-bin lived a life away from the Internet for several years.
And it continued until now.
At first, I didn’t have much interest in it, and I only used it to upload songs anonymously on the platform from time to time, so I didn’t feel much discomfort.
But that was the group’s rule.
‘Doesn’t that apply now?’
This is because Steer has already been dismantled.
Logically, there were no loopholes. Your objection to this situation is simply your own fears and learned prohibitions.
He almost got a little depressed, but soon regained a sense of purpose.
‘good!’
Kim Rae-bin first sent a polite reply to Ryu Cheong-woo.
And after a bit of hesitation, he started searching for his name on social media to get feedback.
-You look handsome today (photo) #Kim Raebin
-King Rabin.. Black Rabbit Emperor (video)
-I want to see Rabin ㅠㅠ
The texts written during the last active period and the affectionate texts looking for the unknown self recently poured out.
He was almost thrilled, but he read through the writings with a strange and grateful heart.
‘There are still many fans on SNS.’
The ability to search to the extent of knowing that an account has already died or has ceased to be active has disappeared over the years.
He looked around SNS a few times, focusing on popular posts, using only his real name as a search term, and soon remembered another method and changed tabs.
‘Let’s see various places.’
And the moment you search for your name on a search engine.
‘…?’
He saw an unusual text on the first page.
-…Kim Rae-bin, Cha Yoo-jin, Min Jeong-hoon, Steer T-one V-tic Mirinae T-holic… ….
It was as if all kinds of group names and personal names were randomly added.
‘Why is this structure like this?’
Rabin Kim inadvertently clicked on the article. Then the page changes and you are redirected to the new search engine.
“…!”
It was a gossip board.
In < Azusa >, which was also a hotbed of all sorts of rumors, the article that had been posted a few weeks ago and took the rankings unfolded before Kim Rae-bin’s eyes.
———————
[Steer disbanded]
(Capture article)
I thought there would be really great male idols during Azusa, but somehow it’s a bit futile
——- ————–
And I realized why the strange structure of the writing was like that.
The article, with hundreds of comments, was covered with keywords to be caught in a search.
He inadvertently lowered his gaze to the best comment.
and.
Long sentences of pros and cons like crazy covered his vision.
-Steer’s problem is that he pushed a production member for a concept, not X. There was even a personality controversy from Azusa, but I still don’t know why he pushed him
. I hope everyone will live well ㅇㅇ
– Planning power = producing and there is only one member who participated in
producing
. ….”
Kim Rae-bin was not good at guessing the inner thoughts of the person talking around him.
However, language rules and described features could be sufficiently analyzed and distinguished.
So I noticed.
-It looks like the accumulated money x.
That was a story about yourself.
Kim Rae-bin forgot to even breathe and continued to check the related content.
-I really sighed when I saw him making songs like X and taking care of the G part every time
. It seems like everyone must have gone crazy
when they saw you pretending not to be a no-jam personality and being
greedy
. Comments with a similar tone, as if they were throwing up because there was no one, were up to date until a few hours ago.
-Ah, it’s really cool ㅠㅠ Finally, I realized that muggles are like this X -It was annoying that they were treated badly, but it feels
like justice has won haha.
would not have received
He could have realized that he just wanted to leave the cause of Steer’s failure to someone comfortably, and that there was only one member there who did not want to look like him out of personal feelings.
However, each sentence Rabin Kim saw had a logical structure. It’s also very analytical.
Why is there a problem with Steer’s production and marketing? Why is the distribution of parts unfair and problematic? Why is
this all happening because of Kim Rae-bin?
One-sided claims based on factual analysis sounded like the truth. Especially from the point of view of a person who has fallen into a panic over writings expressing intense criticism and contempt for himself.
He didn’t come up with a calm rebuttal that he wasn’t involved in the overall production and that more than half of it was just speculation.
I couldn’t see the opposing opinions saying, ‘Aren’t these guys crazy?’
It’s just that all these accusations seemed convincing.
Besides, these ‘fans’ weren’t just criticizing.
-I don’t think Eugene will return after going back to his country.. What should I do
? -I really want to die. Seriously ,
why did my child get beaten up?
“….”
That’s why Kim Rae-bin was contemplating as he rubbed his cold hands as if his blood had cooled.
‘How wrong I was.’
Have you made a big mistake?
“….”
He was speechless.
Originally, he was not the type who was good at social chatter, but his propensity to speak kindly and talk nonstop about the things he liked had disappeared.
Even before three days passed, the family came to ask him at the end of their worries.
“Rabin, what are you doing?”
“….”
“Kim Raebin!”
“…So”
In the end, Kim Rae-bin confessed to his sister that he had seen an article on a gossip bulletin board he had seen and an anonymous site he had found through a link.
“Why did you see that!”
My sister freaked out and started patting him. Kim Rae-bin felt his heart grow hot, but in the end he could not stand it and asked.
He needed an answer.
How much was his fault for the group called Steer not doing well.
However, the family was stern and cut off his words.
“Rabin. They’re all crazy kids. Live your own life. Why do you hate celebrities so much? None of you have done that, so don’t look at that in the future. Understand?”
I couldn’t understand it because it seemed like he was just defending himself, but I couldn’t continue to ask questions.
The more I talked about it, the more my family seemed to suffer.
On the day he saw his grandmother wiping away tears in his room alone, Kim Rae-bin decided to think for himself and find the answer.
He lay down on the bed before going to bed, and he decided not to be afraid, but to ponder and judge.
So I thought about it as hard as possible.
‘first of all….’
After summarizing numerous criticisms, it can be divided into two main causes.
Topic 1.
-The quality of the album has declined because of Kim Rae-bin’s producing.
Kim Rae-bin could not take the lead in producing. I was just assigned. And the company wasn’t being selfish because it tweaked the output to its liking.
But goodness and competence were not the same thing.
‘So I think it’s my fault that I didn’t act more wisely and express my opinion.’
Kim Rae-bin concluded that he should reflect.
Next is Topic 2.
Kim Rae-bin tossed and turned on the bed feeling his throat choke. And I barely remembered the sentence.
-Kim Rae-bin monopolized good parts and could not digest them properly, which had a great negative effect on the team.
Kim Rae-bin… I tried my best to digest the given part.
It really was.
‘But maybe that wasn’t enough.’
Looking at the analysis articles, it was strongly written why the part had to go to someone better suited than Kim Rae-bin, who ‘eats the part’.
Besides, there was empirical evidence.
‘Our group didn’t do well.’
He himself could not digest the important part attractively enough.
So, on the contrary, the possibility that it would have been more beneficial if someone else had digested the impressive parts, rather than himself, is fully open.
And if the fans think so… that would be correct
“….”
So maybe the answer is simple.
-Conclusion: Kim Rae-bin has no ability as an idol.
It was right to produce as I had decided when I was young.
He inhaled and exhaled, trying to think correctly.
in a good way.
‘The elements of our active songs that these fans criticize, I also felt a problem.’
His eyesight was still fine. So it was okay to continue doing it.
‘okay. Let’s do it.’
Kim Rae-bin came to a conclusion and finally felt his head clear.
he will make a song
‘I can do that far.’
Lying on the bed, he looked up at the ceiling and made a revised plan for the future.
“….”
I didn’t cry, but somehow my heart felt empty and sad.
* * *
Testa’s quarters.
Kim Rae-bin was hit as if she was soaked in a waterfall through her memories.
It was as if I had endured it and finally heard the words spilled out.
Just like when you hear someone close to you sadly share their concerns, you deeply sympathize with them and feel sorry for them.
Now, to Kim Rae-bin, that someone was himself.
“….”
The two older brothers were still talking in the living room.
But he stumbled back to the dimly lit living room and quietly returned to the dark room.
Then he sat down at his desk and opened his laptop.
My head was tingling and pale, as if it had been bathed in cold water.
However, the final question that emerged at the end of the data collection was resurfacing.
clearly.
-Who am I as a performer?
this had to be corrected
shorter.
-Who am I.
And specifically.
– Who am I at this moment.
And he quietly put his hand on the laptop and tried to accept what he was feeling right now without distorting it.
It was a feeling that I was able to avoid without tasting deeply because I debuted as a testa.
It was an essential element that was most clearly revealed when one was at his weakest.
irreversible failure.
pain.
“….”
Rabin Kim decided to talk about suffering.
* * *
A few weeks later.
[TeSTAR’s ‘Overture’ Comeback Trailer]
Teaser has been released.
