Episode 252
※Caution※
This episode deals with depression and death.
In fact, there is still more time until the Maginot Line, where we must ‘confirm the truth’. Because the status ailment countdown isn’t over yet.
However, the problem is that there is no time to review this leisurely after the Chuseok holiday.
‘I’m preparing for the end of the year right after preparing the new album.’
In order to show the group’s ability to promote albums, we couldn’t spend the end of the year in vain. There is no time for ‘truth-checking’ side effects.
‘I don’t know what will happen… I can’t miss the right flag.’
I made the most reasonable judgment on the premise that I could continue this activity.
…If I go back to my original body, I might regret trying to figure it out for a few more months, but… Let’s not think about that.
Because we agreed to prioritize the future in which we can continue this.
I exhaled.
‘Goes.’
[Truth check’ 〈- click!]
I clicked on the word in the pop-up window.
Click.
As expected, the sight disappeared.
And consciousness sank as if sucked downward.
* * *
“Twenty years old.”
“…yes yes.”
I am sitting in a familiar restaurant.
This is my regular go-to restaurant after I started studying for the civil service exam. It was good value for money and it was convenient to come and eat alone.
But now he wasn’t alone.
Right now, across from me, a child with a bad complexion is sitting and making soup.
In front of the motel next door, he was lying on his face without a coat, so he came to eat while trying to report it.
‘Useless nonsense.’
A guy who should be busy taking care of his own life wants to do everything, but he couldn’t help but do something he had already done.
I sighed. The guy sitting in front flinched and said in a creeping voice.
“I…. I have no money.”
“….”
Would you have thought of asking to see your appearance?
“I bought it while I was eating, so eat it all.”
“…thank you.”
You act like a criminal by getting a meal that costs less than 10,000 won. Is it because I don’t look like someone I’m going to buy?
I briefly checked myself in the mirror next to the cash register.
He is a civil servant wearing a hat and glasses, wearing a southern shirt. The limbs look fine though.
It means that things look better than the guy in front of me.
‘hmm.’
I looked over at the guy who was picking up diced radish kimchi.
I’m 20 years old, so I won’t be running away… He’s just a guy like me, but he couldn’t have gone to college.
“Do you have someone to contact?”
“….”
“What about Alba?”
“…It’s cut off.”
I know roughly how it happened. I took a spoon and scooped up a spoonful of soup.
and said
“Go from the community center.”
“yes…?”
“The Administrative Welfare Center. From there, check if the basic living conditions are met. That way you get money every month. Even if it’s not that, there will be a corner to take care of, so ask persistently about anything.”
I unilaterally recited the method to him and continued eating. The child on the other side seemed perplexed, but did not object.
‘It must be inconvenient.’
At that age, I could have done that. I quickly drank the remaining broth and stood up.
“Then I go. Eat and go.”
I’ll go if I have an idea.
“Wait a minute!”
However, while putting on the padding, a panicked call was heard.
And a trembling voice.
“excuse me…Thank you, sorry.”
“….”
I paused for a moment, then blurted out the words involuntarily.
“Have you ever worked part-time at a meat restaurant?”
“yes? never did it… .”
Well, it’s hard for minors to work part-time at a meat restaurant. It is usually not accepted unless it is a relative.
I crossed out the top of the candidate and pulled out the next one.
“I’ll introduce you to a part-time job at a convenience store, so contact them. Say that the former part-timer told me. I’ll give you my number.”
Although the owner of the meat restaurant was the weakest at telling stories, it would be okay since the convenience store was also a person who knew how to uphold business morals.
But the other side is more bewildered.
“I don’t have a po phone….”
“….”
I sighed and looked through my smartphone and wrote down my number and the number of the convenience store owner on a piece of tissue paper.
“I get a deposit and open a free phone. I can’t work without it.”
“….”
“receive.”
The guy received the tissue paper with a blank face.
And muttered without raising his head.
“thank you…. thank you so much.”
“….”
It was probably crying.
I just turned my head. And that was the moment I was about to leave.
“That name….”
Yes, since I did this shit, it would be right to say the whole name.
“…Ryu Gun-woo.”
okay. You’re really good at it, Ryu Gun-woo.
Look at how you are wasting your time and thoughts by projecting your situation onto someone you’ve never seen before.
“What is your name?”
The young guy on the other side raised his head and answered quite courageously.
“It’s Park Moondae.”
It was an odd name.
I nodded and left the store this time. To escape from this odd situation.
Even after that, I had occasional contact with this ‘Park Moon-dae’.
[I don’t know if you remember, but this is Park Moon-dae, who got a meal. Thank you for introducing me to the convenience store.]
I received a text message saying that I received my first convenience store part-time job and that I would buy food.
But I haven’t met much. There is no reason to meet, and it is too much to take care of my life.
This guy said he would pay it back, but I don’t have any expectations. I didn’t do anything other than a meal.
It was okay to just meet up and have a meal once in a while. I don’t meet anyone every time, so I think I’m going to have a good time because I feel like I’m going to have a good time.
But apart from that, my report card wasn’t okay.
“Are you crazy?”
I never thought I would fail the interview. I even thought I looked at it objectively.
‘It’s like blinds x cubs.’
There is no indicator that can be guessed except that it received a negative in family affairs.
‘The damn family affair was also well packaged.’
Even the interview with the professor worked well.
Normally, it would be a plus, but it seems that the interviewers weren’t so lucky this year.
“…after.”
I lay down on the mattress. I think my brain is broken.
‘Shall we have a drink?’
Other than that, there was nothing special to do.
After failing that fucking interview for three years as a public official, I drank alone… .
the next morning.
I gave up.
“Let’s lose our hands X-foot.”
The reason was simple. All the money I earned is gone.
From the beginning, I tried to do it until here. Once in the second year and once in the third year.
If the data arm jumps up a notch, how can it be covered… At my age, it was safer to get a job.
‘It was originally prepared for employment safety, but the purpose and means must not be inverted.’
I wanted to have a job that would not starve to death in the worst case and would give me a job and a paycheck in case of some terrible accident.
“….”
I briefly thought about lowering the water supply, but I put it off anyway because of the new cost.
‘I’ll take the last train when I’m 29.’
That year, I got a job at a suitable mid-sized company.
And I thought I had lived quite well… I don’t know.
“You can do it by tomorrow.”
“yes.”
Have I exhausted all my mental strength after living only 29 years, or is my inclination to be a social misfit.
I often thought about it on the bus on the way home from work after overtime.
“….”
It just didn’t taste very good.
There was no inspiration.
Life was exhausting on one side.
Nothing particularly bad, but nothing good either.
Surviving at the company itself is not a big deal, but in-company politics were also boring. Promotion is also not very exciting.
‘I don’t think this is a typical case.’
What is the helplessness that seems to have accumulated throughout this life?
I thought about consulting a psychiatrist for a while, but it was nothing. Is there anything to cut?
I thought about changing jobs, but I wasn’t very motivated. First of all, this company didn’t give me time to prepare for a job change.
“….”
No matter how much I thought about it, no answer came.
Besides having a drink once in a while, is there anything else I can do that interests me?
There was something that flashed through my mind.
picture?
‘It’s too much.’
It was a very expensive hobby. I have neither the time nor the money for that.
However, making money by selling data is not a sustainable job, and it is not something to be done after leaving the company. There were numerous cases where the investment did not earn as much.
“hmm.”
I ordered a rope and painkillers online from my studio. It was interesting for a while.
Still, I thought about it for a few weeks. It’s not an easy decision to make.
However, even after going through that process, the last weekend night was in a very bad shape.
I had the thought of kicking a chair right after the implementation and briefly brushing it.
‘Was this depression?’
However, that thought did not last long.
I’m out of breath… .
* * *
“Heo Eok.”
I got up as if jumping out of bed. And he put his hand to his neck.
‘Breath… .’
It was fine.
“under.”
I put my upper body on the head of the bed. My pajamas were soaked with sweat.
just experienced… No, is this what you’ve been through?
In the meantime, if it was a form of checking other people’s memories, this… .
‘That’s me?’
It was an experience like I was ‘recalling’ a memory.
But the problem is, I have absolutely no recollection of doing anything like that!
My last memory is of falling asleep while drinking alcohol. I have no memory of the subsequent job or the frantic suicide attempt.
Besides, once… .
‘I’ve never met ‘Park Moon-dae’.’
It diverges from this first scene.
If I had to do such a foolish thing to lose money, I wouldn’t be able to forget it.
However, I first saw him after entering the body of this ‘Park Moon-dae’.
Also, the timing was odd.
“Park Moon-dae is not dead.”
Obviously, in the first ‘truth check’ I saw, Park Moon-dae made an extreme attempt at the motel with sleeping pills… .
At that moment, a strange realization came to my mind like a flash.
An attempt is just an attempt.
‘Didn’t Park Moon-dae die?’
Let’s think about it.
Park Moon-dae uses non-prescription sleeping pills… So I just bought a sleep inducer at the pharmacy.
‘Can a person die from over-the-counter medicine?’
I was certain when I started to doubt it. When I searched for it on my smartphone, I was right that no matter how much I ate it, at most I couldn’t die from side effects.
If so, combining the seasons and dates seen in this ‘Truth Verification’… .
‘You met me right after Moondae Park’s suicide attempt.’
The guy who was lost in front of the motel.
that is…back and forth were correct.
“….”
And if this guess is correct, it is also possible that I entered the body of Park Mun-dae, who was not dead.
“Then where did you go?”
But there was no answer. There has never been, so there is no way there will be.
I called the status window and asked.
‘Are you Park Mundae?’
However, there was no response on the status window either. Instead, only strange words appeared.
[-Payment in progress-]
I don’t know what kind of fucking bullshit it was, but there was no sign that he would tell us where Moondae Park was.
No, it is not only the whereabouts of Moondae Park that are important. What is the meaning of my sudden madness that I just checked?
did i really do that?
‘I’ve never thought of myself as such a crazy bastard.’
If I did, why the hell did the memory disappear? How can a 29-year-old become an idol’s last line?
“driving me crazy.”
Laughter is all over
Wouldn’t it be better to meet Park Moon-sik? In the first place, there is no ‘Ryu Gun-woo’ itself, so there is no room to explore anything.
As soon as I first entered Park Moon-dae’s body, I looked through my cell phone number, SNS, and even the university, but I didn’t even have an account… .
‘…for a moment.’
The data I took are still there.
I brushed my hair.
then…What if the proposition was changed to ‘whether Ryu Gun-woo existed here in the past’?
How to find out any traces of it… there is.
-Yes, Moondae. If it’s okay… During this Chuseok holiday, how about going to the members’ houses rather than the dorm? Oh, my house is fine too.
Ryu Cheng-wu’s house.
Whether it’s a family trip album or a video, there’s a chance that traces of me and my parents will remain.
“….”
smart.
Then a knock was heard outside the door.
“Park Moondae? Are you okay??”
It’s Bae Se-jin. Did you hear me talking to myself?
“…yes. Wait a minute after the rat… ….”
“Can you give me that massager?”
“it’s okay. It’s unlocked. wait a minute.”
I got up and changed my clothes.
When I opened the door, Bae Se-jin, who was sitting at the kitchen table, was delighted and hesitated.
“Your clothes….”
“yes.”
Dressed in street clothes, I nodded.
“I’ll be out for a while. Because I have someone to meet.”
I’ll have to check it out.
* * *
It was a particularly peaceful first day of the holiday.
“Come here.”
“king!”
Ryu Cheong-wu put the black toy poodle on the sofa. The smell of the former and the sound of holiday specials on TV lifted the mood.
However, since it wasn’t my grandfather’s house full of people, the feeling was relatively soft.
“Brother, I’m going!!”
“Okay, have a good trip.”
“You’re coming a little late!”
“Haha that’s right.”
The younger brother left the house grumbling that he hadn’t been able to get a big bite from his older brother who had come home after a long time. Liu Cheng-wu smiled and saw off his younger brother.
It was a family of four, including a dog, but it was not empty. Warm words were exchanged.
“So, how are your younger siblings?”
“They are still good kids. nice and… .”
Ryu Cheong-wu, who inadvertently thought of including Bae Se-jin as his younger brother, hurriedly put Bae Se-jin in a position of the same age.
Then, I thought of a member who was quite an adult even though he was a younger brother.
“Yes, since they are good kids, my son was going to invite them to my house for the holidays~”
“Hahaha.”
Just then, my parents brought up the story.
The most mature brother. Liu Cheng-wu said to invite Park Mun-dae to this house for the holidays.
Of course, my parents agreed with this idea, but they did not warmly welcome it.
Even for Liu Cheng-wu’s close brother, it’s not comfortable to have strangers at home during the holidays.
‘Hmm, I think it would have been better if Sejin had gone home.’
Ryu Cheong-wu reflected on himself that Park Mun-dae could have been rather uncomfortable because he was quick-witted.
‘I’m sure he’s doing well.’
Ryu Chung-woo posted a picture of a dog in Testa’s group message room and saw all kinds of holiday food that came up like a reaction.
“Everyone is doing well.”
It seemed like such a peaceful day passed by.
But that evening. The time period just before going into the night.
Ding-dong –
Someone rang the doorbell. And the In-young outside the door doesn’t leave, whether it’s a courier or not.
“I will see.”
“Okay, son~”
Ryu Cheng-wu got up from the sofa.
‘Are you a stalker?’
Liu Qingyu had a rather negative premonition and immediately checked who was standing.
“…!”
An unexpected person was standing outside the intercom.
Ryu Cheng-wu immediately opened the door.
“…Mundae?”
“Yes brother.”
As he said, Moondae Park was standing in front of the gate.
Without any warning. However, not with calm eyes like usual, but with big eyes.
“I came to play as you said, can I come in?”
Liu Chengwu felt a little creepy.
