If I Can’t Debut, I’ll Get A Death’s Disease Episode 162 Keun
Se-jin, who opened the door, was wearing something similar to a smile, but of course he didn’t look happy.
“hmm…come in?”
“uh.”
I went into the room, closed the door, and lightly tossed the bottle of cold water I was holding.
“What is this, drink cold water and wake up?”
“Compassion and honor.”
“haha.”
The guy who isn’t funny at all is just pretending to smile.
Big Sejin sat on the floor. Then, after opening a bottle of water and emptying it close to half, I slowly opened my mouth.
“first…I know that if this happens anyway, I will apologize and I will solve the problem.”
It was a low voice without any elevation.
“If you calm down a bit, I will apologize and protect you, so don’t worry. I’m not going to harm the group with this.”
“….”
However, the next words were a bit emotional.
“I’m sorry to you and the other members. Everyone must have been surprised by the fight in the car.”
I crossed my arms.
“…You’ll apologize to Bae Se-jin, but aren’t you sorry?”
“Isn’t that obvious?”
Big Sejin laughed. And I wiped my eyes with one hand.
“I really…I don’t understand. Do you think that I have kept all my duty as a team member to him?”
Big Sejin folded his fingers and continued.
“Right now, half of that hyung’s choreography is one-on-one. If you make a noise every time the camera rolls or just shut up, they will fix it once or twice.”
It was true.
Apart from that guy not liking Bae Se-jin, he helped me as a team member whenever he was active.
It’s not for Bae Se-jin though.
“But pretending to be friendly… under.”
Keun Se-jin crumpled the water bottle, then loosened his grip again, as if trying to calm himself down.
“Where is that in front of the camera? It’s a job. Are you telling me not to talk to you when the camera is rolling because you’re uncomfortable with me? At the same time, he is serious about his work, and I am talking about the army like a child’s play… ….”
I knew I was out of line here.
Let’s cut it off before it gets any worse.
“okay. I see what you mean.”
“….”
Big Sejin drank the water without a word.
I chose my words slowly.
“You contribute a lot to the team. Like you said, there are many times when hyung has been unilaterally helped by you without knowing or not.”
“….”
“That’s why you must have felt more pressure that you hated me.”
I spoke calmly.
“Because that older brother has no choice but to keep getting help.”
Aside from Bae Se-jin’s grit and hard work, it was not surprising that his ability as an idol was lower than the other members.
It’s because this wasn’t my wish in the first place.
So, because of the thought that ‘I’m causing damage to the team’, I think it’s my karma, so I must have endured it more.
“So I must have endured it. There was also a misunderstanding. I don’t think I was deliberately trying to make you a bad person in front of other kids.”
Due to this guy’s personality, there’s a high probability that Bae Se-jin intentionally watered him in front of other people, so tell him about this as well.
“….”
Sure enough, it was a bit genuine.
Big Sejin asked calmly.
“…Be honest. Did I sound sarcastic to you?”
“In the car?”
“uh.”
I stroked my chin.
“no.”
Big Sejin continued before answering.
“But it wasn’t like that. I didn’t like it, but it felt like the atmosphere gave it to me.”
In fact, if you look at the situation, Keun Sejin’s words were similar to what the other members said earlier.
The problem is that there are things that have accumulated over the years.
‘Actually, at the beginning of the debut play, you were like X, but since you’re a team, it felt like you were treated with a smile.’
From Bae Se-jin’s point of view, the impression was strong at that time, so it was not strange to say that his insincere tone continued to feel like he was being sarcastic.
“I know you did it because you thought it was better for the team atmosphere than ignoring it. But for some, that may be more difficult to bear.”
“….”
“Of course, it would have been better to discuss it separately with you in a nice atmosphere first…Personality wouldn’t have done that.”
“can not understand.”
I sipped my water and laughed.
“It’s just that you don’t match that hyung’s personality.”
“…under.”
Big Sejin pressed his forehead with one hand.
“Take this opportunity to have a conversation.”
Rather, if we understand each other’s principles of behavior, wouldn’t it be possible to tolerate it on the line of ‘that bastard doesn’t intend to fuck me’.
But the answer came back after quite some time.
“…I’m a little fed up with it.”
It wasn’t very positive.
“what.”
“Has he ever tried to get along with me even once?”
“…!”
Big Sejin said calmly.
“I remember? Ever since Azusa, if you said anything you didn’t like, you’d be serious.”
…Even from the first team match, numerous examples have passed by. I put up with the silence.
“…It did. Although there were circumstances.”
“Moondae, where is the person without mercy? There is no one who does not try.”
Big Sejin smiled.
“But let’s not say that I should have done better because that hyung is hardworking, has circumstances, and is naturally sensitive.”
It was a nuance that seemed to have abandoned expectations for Bae Se-jin.
“You saw it, that hyung, he still does. As soon as I got caught on a variety show, I hated it. Isn’t that rude again? Even if I don’t like it, you treat me kindly, so it’s obvious that you’re being sarcastic?”
Big Sejin seemed a bit tired for some reason.
“Yeah, I get what you mean anyway. you said I’ll apologize. Get some sleep… We can talk about it tomorrow.”
“….”
driving me crazy.
I held my breath and just exhaled.
“Hey, don’t do it if it makes you that uncomfortable.”
“…!!”
“It’s not like the album is ruined right away just because the two of them fight…. I don’t feel like it, but there’s no need to apologize out of heart. I’d rather curse and fight when I have time.”
Big Sejin shook his head.
“no.”
“what?”
“The schedule is from tomorrow afternoon. Before that, you have to loosen it so it won’t show.”
“….”
Wow, he was a really great guy.
‘It’s my own mind, it’s Nabal, and work comes first.’
Because of this, it’s hard to get better feelings for Bae Se-jin, who can barely digest even one serving.
‘Besides, this guy has a background.’
I remembered one of the reasons I had to come to this guy.
Let’s break this guy down first.
“We have 7 members. Even if the two of us don’t talk, it’s going to be a coincidence once or twice. Even though my attitude was trash for about a month, it didn’t turn into a big problem.”
And let’s get to the point. A little bit to say… It’s embarrassing, but there’s no other option.
“And what I told you to talk about is also a kind of experience. I also talked to Chungwoo-hyung, so… It’s fine.”
“…! It’s different from that.”
“No, there are some similarities.”
I drank my water.
“It’s not that I was uncomfortable with him, it’s because I was uncomfortable with the incidents associated with him.”
“….”
“I think you are similar.”
“what.”
“Among the many reasons why you keep giving Bae Se-jin hyung harshly, isn’t it uncomfortable because there is an incident like mine that reminds me of it? It’s ‘the last member who was an actor’.”
“…!”
Yes. The past that Keun Se-jin confessed while preparing for the concert unit stage in the past was on my mind.
Why was he cut from the debut group?
-Why, right before launch, a new kid whose parents are both actors came in? I should put him on the team because he has a reputation… The top man said he would make it with 7 people. What can I do? One cut off.
Looking at Bae Se-jin, the last member who lacks skills compared to himself in the actor keyword, he wondered if this trauma would not have been lost even unconsciously.
“….”
Big Sejin kept his mouth shut with his face slapped on the back of the head.
Actually, if I do this wrong, I want to be able to fight with me, but since I am not an idiot, you should have understood what I meant.
“…Maybe.”
okay. I thought so.
I nodded.
“So, I wanted to have a conversation and find out what kind of person Bae Se-jin is. I’m not asking you to understand or apologize right away, but to judge the other person calmly.”
“….”
Big Sejin smiled slowly and bitterly.
Then he sighed and shrugged his shoulders.
“…OK got it. I’ll try.”
It was a different nuanced answer from the previous ‘Let’s talk’.
The nuance of not apologizing moderately to get over the situation, but trying to have a serious conversation.
‘Enough.’
With this, the intended purpose was achieved.
I closed the lid of the water bottle and got up from the floor.
“Good idea.”
“Oh, you did a great job, Ms. Mundae.”
“stop.”
“haha!”
Big Sejin had a face that was slightly lost in thought, even though he was smiling.
Perhaps you are checking to see if there is really such an irrational aspect to your rejection.
‘I’ll take care of it myself.’
Whether it be porridge or rice, I will no longer be able to eat because I am tired. I kneaded the back of my neck and opened the door and left.
“I am going to bed.”
“Sure. Oh right.”
“why.”
I thought it might be a question related to Bae Se-jin, but something unexpected came out.
“You didn’t have such a trashy attitude back then, Moondae. I was just sick, but I worked hard. Even Chungwoo-hyung was just worried.”
“…!”
“Thank you for caring. good night.”
Big Sejin smiled faintly, waved his hand, and closed the door.
Click.
“….”
I didn’t expect to hear these words.
The feeling was a bit strange.
“hmm.”
I stood in front of the closed door and came to my senses and walked into the living room.
If Bae Se-jin was still talking with Ryu Cheong-wu in the room, it would be a little awkward to go in there.
In the living room, the three I had seen earlier were gathered side by side, watching TV and whispering.
“When are you going to the room? I feel sleepy.”
“Joe, let’s wait a little longer….”
“Hold on, you idiot. You can sleep in the living room.”
“I hate floors, I like beds.”
“Is that more important than the hyungs’ feelings?”
“Both are important!”
Cha Yoo-jin and Kim Rae-bin were on the verge of fighting by the collar. Seon Ah-hyun was breaking out in a cold sweat.
“Hey guys. don’t fight… !”
I put up with my silence and spoke.
“…You all go in.”
“brother!”
“Moondae hyung!”
“I was reconciled…?”
“no.”
After getting the promise to ‘do not ask anything’, I sent Cha Yu-jin home to the room where Se-jin was, and sent Rae-bin Kim to the room with a request not to wait for Chung-wu Ryu.
And he said to Seon Ah-hyun.
“Let’s just sleep in the living room.”
“Yes!”
It’s the first time since debut that I’m sleeping in a place other than a bed. Once again, I want to have a good time.
However, the moment I took the blanket out of the closet in the other room, Ryu Cheng-wu came out of my room.
“brother.”
“Oh guys. …Did you bring out your blankets??”
“I’m afraid this story will be long….”
“Oh it’s okay. go in and sleep I’m done talking with Sejin.”
“Are you okay?”
“hmm….”
Ryu Cheng-wu had a complicated face.
“…It seems that Sejin has suffered a bit. It’s hard to say who’s to blame, but… I need to find a place for the two of us to unwind. How was Sejin Lee?”
“I’ll talk to you when you wake up.”
“good. Then, let’s look at the situation tomorrow and talk again.”
“yes. You worked hard.”
“What is suffering? You did a great job.”
It seemed that Ryu Cheong-woo continued to listen carefully to Bae Se-jin’s words. After roughly saying goodbye and going back to the room with Sun Ah-hyun, Bae Se-jin was definitely in a stable state.
“…Sorry. The atmosphere was uncomfortable because of me.”
“Oh no…! Brother brother are you okay… ?”
“are you okay. just a little… sorry anyway I’ll be careful.”
Bae Se-jin said that with a pale and swollen face, then lay down on the bed and became quiet without a slight movement.
Even without looking, I could feel the stress swirling inside.
‘It must have been extremely troubled.’
It was obvious even if I didn’t hear it.
Starting with ‘Am I going too far?
“….”
When Seon Ah-hyun quietly went to bed, I sighed, turned off the lights, and lay down on my bed.
‘I couldn’t monitor it.’
Originally, I was thinking of doing it in the car, but as you know, it was an impossible situation.
‘Should I do it now?’
After turning on my smartphone, I slowly checked public opinion, starting with news articles.
But it wasn’t long before I heard a small voice.
“…sit down?”
It was Bae Se-jin. It was a very small voice, probably conscious of sleeping Seon Ah-hyun.
“Not yet.”
“….”
Bae Se-jin was silent for a while.
And after a while, a very hesitant hoarse voice was heard.
“excuse me…Did I do something wrong?”
Anxiety was felt.
“no. It will be fine.”
just…The two filthy mismatched guys put up with each other for the sake of the group in their own way, and it’s been a long time since.
If I had to argue, Bae Se-jin was the weaker one, so it must have been more difficult for him.
“…hmm.”
flaw.
I heard a very small sniffing sound, probably because I had covered myself with a blanket. I didn’t want to be found out.
I turned off my smartphone and closed my eyes quietly pretending not to know without making a fuss.
‘A conclusion will come after the conversation.’
Until then, I’ll have to keep the two apart.
That was the thought I had when I never imagined that the two of them would be in the same group on W Live the next day.
