207. Noli metuere (3)
It is too noticeable to say that you passed it by without noticing it. It would be impossible to miss it, especially if Remember had the lawn so well organized.
As expected, Remember gave the answer right away, as if he had already known it.
“It’s not that we didn’t organize it, it’s that we didn’t. Even if I pulled it out, it continued to grow. It even blooms all year round. “It doesn’t look like an ordinary flower.”
“….”
It bloomed on Cruel’s grave. If it didn’t collapse due to the providence of nature or Remember’s hand, there must be a reason why.
Deon somehow thought it might have something to do with me. It’s just a groundless feeling, but that’s enough.
I can feel the rough yet soft texture of grass under my palm. When he came to his senses, he had his left hand on the grave and was reaching for a flower.
“…!”
As soon as I touched my fingertips, the flower shattered like an illusion. Deon froze. In Remember’s eyes, it seemed like he was just fixated on an extraordinary phenomenon, but that wasn’t the case.
Flower Cruel was talking.
I died without regrets.
I will wait for you leisurely, and I hope that you too will live without regrets.
“…what.”
It wasn’t an admonition to live. As if he knew Deon Hardt’s current situation, he just hoped that he would ‘live without regrets.’
Deon looked at the spot where the flower was in confusion. It was so strange that there wasn’t even a trace left, so for a moment I wondered if I had seen something in vain… but
then, bang!
‘Is that possible?’
I slapped myself on the cheek and swept the spot where the flower was.
The same phenomenon will no longer occur here. Deon had a hunch.
So, this flower… bloomed all year long just to convey that message, and continued to grow even after being plucked.
Just for me.
‘The fact that he died without regrets must have been something he said to stop me from blaming myself.’
Not saying it directly was actually the right choice.
Because I haven’t forgiven myself yet. If I had conveyed my meaning directly instead of saying it in that way, I might have ended up pointing a sword at myself.
There is something more that needs to be pointed out. Deon slowly caressed the grass with his hands and spoke in a whisper, as if he had been in emotional turmoil.
“The flowers in the vase by the window in my room were probably sent by my brother.”
Hien said he picked flowers that were blooming on a grave near the border.
If Hien, who has no interest in anything other than man-eating plants, had tried to pick flowers from the human world for me, she would have picked as many different types of flowers as possible to make a gorgeous bouquet instead of just one simple flower. So it must not have been purely Hien’s thoughts.
Did you say that one flower caught your attention? There was probably some scientifically unexplainable phenomenon at work.
“Strangely, I didn’t have nightmares when I slept in that room.”
Even when I had a nightmare in the beginning, the white light chased it away before it reached its worst.
And above all, there is the last thing the former warrior Cassius said.
[The day you were kicked out of the nightmare, I was asked to convey words to someone.]
[A man with black hair and green eyes asked me to say hello.]
Oh really.
My head bowed and my forehead touched the grave. Deon muttered as he knelt down and rested his head on the grave.
“You were still protecting me.”
I begged you not to do that.
What should I do with you, who protects me even in death?
Unexpectedly, my hatred toward myself did not soar. Deon, who was rubbing his forehead against the rough grass, said something nonsensical as if he were joking, in a slightly quiet voice.
A soothing atmosphere, as if basking in the spring sunlight, spread around.
“If you’re dead, you should rest, bro.”
When I was young, I secretly visited and observed my older brother, who was busy receiving training for his successor. He was quickly lifted up and moved to a chair in the corner.
It was the middle of the night when I couldn’t sleep. I remember tossing and turning and eventually going out into the hallway to take a walk indoors. Then, I went into my brother’s room after finding that the light wasn’t turned off.
He was studying at that time. He was busy with various things during the day and didn’t sleep until late at night, so my brother asked him when he was going to rest. Deon still remembers what he answered then.
“They say you can sleep when you die.”
What if I’m still not sleeping?
Just as a child is always a child in the eyes of a parent, I expect that in the eyes of the older brother who wanted to save his younger sibling, I will be seen as a child that was thrown into the water.
But even though it looks like this, it’s been a while since I became an adult. I’m already in my late 20s, so what if I’m still like this?
“…Remember.”
I called out to the person who had been standing behind me the whole time.
“I have decided on a tombstone.”
“If you tell me, I will engrave it as soon as possible….”
“No. There is no need for that.”
Deon picked up a nearby wooden stick.
After becoming a warrior and learning to control his strength by fighting the emperor, he became able to break rocks with eggs. I don’t know if this is possible because of strength control or because I am a ‘hero’, but anyway. So it wouldn’t be difficult to dig out a rock with a wooden stick.
As a test, he wrote lightly on the floor and continued speaking.
“I will do the engraving, so can I ask Remember to give me my brother’s body…?”
So that my brother’s body can be made whole.
I gently pushed the wooden box that had been placed next to me towards him.
“…As expected, the box was his head. “Isn’t it corrupt?”
“I’m fine. “I really want to ask if my brother’s body is okay.”
“Do you see the amulet attached to the bottom of the tree trunk? It contains functions that slow down the rate of corruption. “I put it there in case the rest of the body comes back, but I guess that was a good thing.”
As if he had been preparing for this moment, Remember comes carrying a shovel that had been leaning against a nearby tree.
Well, I think this will be enough. Deon, holding the wooden stick, scrubbed the writing on the floor and placed one hand on the tombstone. The hand holding the stick began to move more carefully.
A calm voice spread through the air as if flowing in silence.
“Was the reason the grave was made in a southern style to prepare for this time?”
“Couldn’t we just leave the body unattended for the rest of the body that may return at some point? “That’s rude to the dead.”
Rather than the northern style grave, which involves placing a coffin deep in the ground, covering it with soil to level the ground and erecting a tombstone, this is a southern style grave with earth piled up in a hemispherical shape.
Originally, Southern-style graves were the same as placing the coffin in the ground, but this time, it was placed on the ground and dirt was piled on top to make it easy to take out. Later, when the body is intact, it can be replaced with a northern-style tomb.
With strength and stamina that was not typical of an old man, the burial mound was quickly dismantled and the coffin was exposed. At the sound of the lid opening, Deon stopped his hand and raised his head.
“…ah.”
A moan came out of nowhere.
I see my brother’s body in disarray, as if it was a reflection of that time. A body with torn clothes and signs of being pierced by various weapons. And above that…
I closed my eyes tightly before the cross section of the neck came into view.
Remember, who opened the lid of the wooden box as if to divert Deon’s consciousness, took out a light-colored thread and needle from his belt and asked.
“What are you engraving on the tombstone?”
“…There is a phrase I saw in my brother’s book when I was young.”
A phrase I saw in my brother’s book that I was studying at the time.
I said it was an educational book. When I tilted my head at the unfamiliar language, my older brother pointed out the words and recited their meaning one by one. To be exact, he glanced at me and pointed out each sentence of the book, reading it out loud as if he were self-studying, but now I know.
That was also out of consideration for me.
“…I want to engrave that.”
Those words came out after a long time.
Even though he finished speaking late, Remember just glanced at him and without saying anything, cut the end of the knotted thread and put down the needle.
A sweet, indifferent answer flowed out softly.
“okay.”
There is a rustling sound as if it is busy.
I’m not looking, but I know what he’s doing just by hearing the sound. Deon asked, stopping his hand again after engraving a few words.
“…What on earth does Remember do?”
Before leaving, I packed a bandage and bandages. Even though the identity of what was in the wooden box was not revealed, it was a natural action, as if it were natural.
He has a lot of questions. As if sensing this question, Remember answered while holding a bandage in his hand.
“He is a mercenary broker dispatched from the Kingdom of Esperanes.”
“…That’s something we’ve already found out to some extent.”
“What makes it unique is that it comes from a high-ranking noble family.”
“If you are a high-ranking noble…”
“He was the duke’s second son. “It doesn’t mean much now.”
“It can’t be meaningful.”
Deon picked up the given clues without missing them.
“If you are from a high-ranking noble family, you must have a strong influence among brokers.”
“….”
“Even if you are a duke, you must have considerable connections. I don’t think it would be enough to simply explain that they have a strong influence…”
“…I don’t think I can handle it. How much are you trying to torment the old man? “First of all, he plays a central role among the intermediaries dispatched to the empire.”
“Then…”
“The recovery of the intact body has finally been completed. Would you like to see it?”
“….”
He changes his tune.
But this time too, Deon had no choice but to pass over. Because my head turned reflexively without even thinking.
There, in perfect condition, Cruel Hart lay embracing the last days of his life.
‘…at las.’
Perhaps because I was nervous or because I was stiff from kneeling in front of the tombstone for a long time, I forced my stiff body up and approached the coffin. The closer you get, the clearer Cruel’s appearance becomes.
He looks no different from when he was alive, only with a bandage wrapped around his neck.
It actually took a long time. Deon’s face contorted as if he were crying.
“Cruel.”
Remember quietly steps back. Either way, Deon, who had already pushed his existence out of the realm of recognition, opened his mouth again.
“brother.”
Of course, what you prepare for and what you see in person are two different things. I slowly closed my eyes in an unexpectedly difficult situation. A familiar darkness has arrived.
I cut myself off from the world with just one eyelid, and after a short silence, as if I was possessed by something, an unplanned word came out like a cough.
“…Sorry.”
It was like that last time, and it’s like this again. My apologies to him were always impulsive.
‘I didn’t mean to say this.’
I was thinking of just checking to see if it was really intact, putting the lid on it, and then burying it again.
Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Deon, who was stupidly repeating the same thing, chewed the tip of his tongue and stopped talking.
I suppressed the emotions that rose up and stretched out my hand towards Cruel’s face. His face, which I touched for the first time since his death, was cold without any warmth.
It was sad rather than scary.
“…My brother said he died without regrets, so I guess I shouldn’t have felt sorry.”
What do you think?
“I am already an irredeemable piece of trash.”
Still, I won’t ask you why you saved me.
I will not ask whether I should have just let the evil person who killed my entire family, who was a burden to my family, die.
Because that means denying both your life and death.
“But… just like my brother said, I will live a life with no regrets.”
I express my gratitude to you for not forcing life on me.
You, who willingly gave up your life for my survival, had every right to force me to live. Nevertheless, I am thankful that you did not do that, and at the same time, I feel suffocated by your kindness that is still conveyed even after you leave this world.
‘Why didn’t I notice this when you were there?’
