[Episode 139]
‘He was a strange person.’
I felt embarrassed as I erased the dark red marks on my clothes.
“Should I have reported it?”
No, I reported it, so what the hell is falling on me? Just leave it alone and it will take care of itself.
‘It looked pretty far-fetched.’
His voice was very kind. It was quite different from the cool face.
When I turned on the TV while sitting on the sofa attached as an officetel option, the TV, which had been crackling for a while, soon illuminated the screen.
The TV came out well, perhaps thanks to the timely payment of the maintenance fee.
‘Nothing much to say.’
The world seems to have gone round and round without me.
I yawned lightly and scratched my cheek. While I was fiddling around with the cell phone I bought today, a novel suddenly came to my mind and I jumped up from my seat.
I turned off the TV, went back to my room, buried myself in the bed, covered myself with the blanket, and cautiously turned on my phone.
I turned on the ‘Cocoa Page’ I always used and typed the title I remembered in the search bar.
[I thought I was adopted, but I was mistaken!]
My eyes widened naturally.
“Hey?”
The world I said I had created became a novel and was being sold on an app.
‘What is it….’
I hurriedly entered the app and looked at it.
In my memory, the novel, which had already been completed, was serialized until an abduction for some reason.
It was also in the middle of a serialization.
I hurriedly pressed episode 1 and started reading the novel. And I read all the novels that are close to 300 episodes without sleeping all night.
The contents were like this.
It is correct that ‘Eirin’ exits from the initial incident without gaining the surname ‘Etam’.
In the meantime, all the stories were originally told with the main character ‘Sharnet’.
And the main character of the side story was ‘I’.
All the things I’ve been through so far have been written down and left as a record.
“Is this the world I made?”
I let out a short sigh with a disapproving face.
I couldn’t figure out why the world I created was being recorded and sold here.
“I don’t know.”
Suddenly, a bird was chirping outside. I swallowed a laugh and closed my eyes.
I had a dream that day.
It was a dream that first made the world.
* * *
“Mom, I got 100 points on the test at school today!”
“Mom, I’m tired, so come back later.”
“Yes…”
“Because she is a girl, she is always noisy. Stop talking nonsense and enter the room. A girl is good at studying, so what do you use it for…”
“Dad…”
I was just lonely.
‘Why does everyone hate me?’
It was a delusion that started from a small question.
‘I wish there was a world where everyone loves me.’
It was a wish that any child could make.
‘I’m bored in my room…’
The room was stuffy. When I went out, stinging eyes hit me fiercely, and no one scolded me when I was imagining.
“I want a loving father too.”
just imagined
I wondered what it would be like to have a strong dad who doesn’t bend to anyone and lose to anyone.
“I want to be very pretty and have great abilities. And you will be loved by everyone.”
I wanted to be Charnett.
The main character was very cute and lovable, a kind and sweet person who would forgive everyone for any mistake.
I also wanted to have a pretty mother.
A mother who can do anything for her children. Yes, I needed a mother who would love her child even if my life was dying out.
I think that’s how I created my first family.
* * *
“Oh hello. grandma! My name is Cha Miso…”
“Tsk, unlucky. Someone told me to bring this to you!”
“I’ll be away for a week, but I can’t leave that kid alone, mother.”
“Oh, my son is having a hard time giving birth to something like that. Somehow… Tzuyu But it’s a relief that you’re doing well and gave birth to two sons. I was wondering if the 4th generation reader would be born…”
It was only later that I found out why giving birth to a child is because of a good father, and why it was such an absurd story.
Looking at it this way, it wasn’t like my mother got married in a good environment.
“I can’t stop making noise in the house!”
“…Honey… Ugh. I’m blown away.”
“Grandpa…”
“I’m not going to shame the family.”
I thought that the cold and chilly eyes were not exclusive to the grandmother.
My grandfather, who didn’t even look at me and turned around as if he were invisible.
It was very familiar to curl up under the thick blanket and bury your face in the pillow.
“It’s okay…”
It’s okay. I’m fine.
“Sharnet won’t cry even in this situation.”
Rather, I will smile and approach you again.
Then, obviously, even the tough grandparents will melt in an instant.
Because Grandma and Grandpa, who were like ice fields, weren’t really that bad people.
‘There’s no one who hates Charnett.’
That’s right.
Grandma is actually a cold person by nature, and she loves me but is unable to express it.
Grandpa… that’s it.
‘That’s right, I don’t really hate it.’
Charne is always a beloved child.
That day, I seem to have reimagined it while buried under the blanket.
In this way, Charnett’s family members had disingenuous grandfathers and grandmothers.
* * *
“Ah, that’s embarrassing…. I told you not to go around calling me older sister!”
“I didn’t tell you.”
“But how come everyone else knows! Aren’t you ashamed of being really embarrassing, going around like that?”
“The reason I go around like this is you guys…!”
“What are we? Because you’re such a noob, even Mom and Dad are offended when they see you.”
“Yeah, it’s all your fault. It’s stupid. There is nothing that I know how to do.”
My body, pushed by the male students in their prime, stumbled and fell into the muddy water.
“ah!”
It was common.
After my two older brothers instinctively realized that I was below them, they didn’t stop bullying me.
‘Does this make any difference?’
If I’m unhappy, do they even become happy?
I wanted to ask that.
But what do you do then? no one answers it’s just for fun
are you okay.
“Charnet…don’t cry over things like this.”
Let’s not give Charne such a bad little brother. I’m giving you mature older brothers.
The older brothers who can protect Sharnet with a friendly smile and forgive her no matter what mistakes she makes, and who can forgive her no matter what mistakes she makes.
When bad friends harass you, the older brothers who pull out their swords with their own hands and use magic to defeat the bad guys!
Yes, let’s make brothers.
They are the older brothers who use swords extremely well and use magic extremely well.
I gave up going to school, sat down on the playground floor, took out a sketchbook and took notes, and all of a sudden I lost all my energy.
‘Then what should I do?’
I can’t be Charnett.
Charne is an imaginary character I created. I can’t be Charnett. Charne is not me.
Charnett isn’t so mean like me, doesn’t get beaten up every time, and doesn’t get depressed like this.
“I…”
I can’t be happy anyway.
No matter how much I imagine, no matter how happy I draw a dream.
That my world won’t change
“I want to be happy too.”
I want to have a happy family too. I want to be Charnett too.
I…
no more…
“No, no.”
I wondered if a shadow had grown thicker over my head, and I heard a familiar yet very unfamiliar voice.
“I thought I was still up to the limit, but the concentration of unhappiness was too thick.”
A small sigh was heard.
When I looked up, I saw a man whose face was invisible, wearing a bowler hat.
“Who…”
“I’m just pushing it to the limit, not wanting it to break. Could you hold out a little longer?”
The man reached out and cupped my cheeks with both hands.
“I need to erase some memories. You weren’t that unhappy. Be happy. The world will move happily with the sacrifice of one of you.”
The man smiled kindly.
“It’s okay. If I’m born again, this kind of misfortune is nothing, it’s just a piece of the past.”
He seemed to be smiling coldly, but his voice sounded infinitely friendly.
“Make a wonderful world.”
A friendly voice fell.
When I woke up from a long dream and opened my eyes again, I was facing young Cha Mi-so, shedding silent tears.
“why are you crying? Eirin.”
Young Cha Mi-so asked with a faint smile.
“If it weren’t for me… there would be no one to cry for.”
Since no one has cried for us, I have no choice but to cry.
so you’re crying
That’s all.
