[Episode 117]
“How can you go back…”
I looked blankly at my father, and he smiled. This whole situation really felt like a dream.
There was a scream outside and the mother was sitting on the floor as if her strength was exhausted, but the father was so calm and peaceful.
everything is unreal
“You can do what you do. How about thinking about wanting to go back this time?”
“Ah…”
“So let’s go home now.”
I was just about to nod my head after understanding what Dad had said.
“Where are you going!”
Unknowingly, Chai Do and Chai Hyun reached out and pulled my wrist roughly.
Even if it wasn’t so, her body, which had been weakened by the long stay in the hospital, swayed greatly.
My father, who tried to hold my shoulder so as not to take me away, narrowed his forehead and let go of his hand as if he was worried that I would be pulled from both sides.
“Someone is so precious that he can’t even touch him properly…”
Dad murmured lowly.
“Your house is here. Are you crazy, really? How the hell did you know that crazy person?”
“Hyung is right, it’s dangerous, so stay behind. You don’t have Stockholm Syndrome or something like that, do you?”
“…Leave this.”
I frowned at the discomfort rising from the gripped wrist.
I tried to twist my wrists, but the grip of the two was stronger than I thought.
Even after becoming a full-fledged adult, the use of herds did not change.
“Sister, are you really crazy?!”
“Did something happen to that human? Why are you wrapped around me like that!”
Laughter flowed out.
“I should have been sleeping here the whole time, but what happened to me?”
At my questioning, the two men’s mouths fell shut.
Two people who graduated from prestigious universities would know how absurd this is from common sense.
“go away.”
I desperately pulled my wrist and ran to my dad. My hand was so red that I thought it might be bruised.
“Crazy Mr. X! you are really crazy! Turned now! Even in a mental hospital…!”
“Yeah, I went crazy. So please don’t come and pretend to be family. Because of you, my whole life was like hell and I was unhappy.”
It was a life that could not die. How much do these guys really know?
I probably won’t know for the rest of my life.
Lonely, lonely, loathing themselves who are nothing. I hate myself for breathing, but I hate myself for not having the courage to die
.
“What are you really saying…!”
I laughed wildly.
As if my behavior had been very ferocious, the two men flinched as if they were still in their childhood.
It was worth it. I hadn’t stood up to them since getting scolded as a child.
“I should have died horribly that day in front of you guys.”
As soon as I finished my words, my mother jumped up from her seat and strode forward.
My mother, who had met eye level with me without seeing me, glared at me with her mouth tightly shut, then raised her hand.
Contrary to my expectations, the trembling hand did not strike my face.
Even though I was looking at her eyes full of tears, there was no emotion. just a little funny
So I put the words I always thought of on the tip of my tongue.
“Mother I… I thought you guys would regret it when I died.”
So even though I knew it was a stupid choice, I didn’t try to run away from the truck that skidded that day.
I don’t know what kind of courage it was.
If it wasn’t that day, it would probably be a choice that could never be made again.
“So it was a pity that I couldn’t die…”
I wasn’t in the mood to laugh, but I forced myself to laugh. Just like your father smiles, brighter than anyone else.
Hoping that your heart will be torn to shreds if you have any guilt with me.
“Seeing my mother’s face makes me feel glad that she is alive.”
“you…!”
“I’m glad I was going to die that day.”
“you…! How could you say such a thing in front of your mother…”
Tears flowed down her mother, who was always sharp and sensitive.
“mother.”
“….”
“Do you really think that day was the only time I tried to die?”
Upon hearing my words, Mother’s pupils widened and widened.
Looking at the swaying eyes, a low pleasure rushed from the stomach.
“That day was finally a success.”
It was fun to see each word I said hurt as if it were a dagger.
I thought you were the one who knew that you were sick too.
I just stared at my mother’s trembling eyes.
“Anyway, mother and father were the only children. Why was I born?”
Yes, I always wanted to do this.
I hope you know even a small part of what I hurt because you were hurt and hurt and hurt again.
“I’m so glad that something remains, whether it’s guilt toward my mother or affection for me.”
“…you.”
“Thanks to you, I can see this expression. I hope you will suffer from guilt for the rest of your life. Then…”
I pursed my lips and forced a smile.
“…don’t die.”
I approached my father.
Dad hugged me as if he had been waiting. My mother was startled and reached out to me.
“…Go back, Dad.”
“Where are you going! don’t go!”
Mother reached out to me. My mother’s hand brushed the air as my father took a step back while holding me.
A crack appeared between Dad’s eyebrows.
“So be it. But before that…”
Dad slowly took my hand. I didn’t feel good when I saw my bruised wrist before I knew it.
“Are you going to kill them all?”
“…”
My eyes looking at my father grew bigger without me realizing it.
Dad looked at me for a long time as if he was estimating something, then shrugged.
“It’s a joke.”
“Ah yes…”
I nodded and slowly closed my eyes.
Will this imagination really come true in my reality?
There was a little uneasy element, but I still couldn’t come up with a way to go back.
‘I want to go back with my dad. I want to be Eirin again…’
I didn’t want to be in this world anymore.
When I thought so, my eyes froze. My mind sank far below as my father held my staggering body firmly.
* * *
Erno Etam witnessed in real time that his body became transparent as he watched the child slowly crumble.
thump thump thump!
There was a familiar sound. It stretched slowly, like the sound of a broken musical instrument.
cooong cooong cooong.
It was someone’s heartbeat.
Erno Etam suddenly realized that the place where he was standing had changed.
Into the pitch-black darkness where there is nothing in the unfamiliar and cold world where everything is seen for the first time.
‘That was the child’s world.’
That’s why he was smarter than I thought, and that’s why he seems to be mature enough for his age.
It wasn’t surprising at all. Because the child always had a special corner.
‘It was true when he said he would kill me.’
The meaning that the string of previous life has not yet been cut is because they thought that it might be because they are still alive.
If he had arrived in that world alone, he would have killed the child’s old family without regret.
So it must have been made so that the child could fully belong to himself and his world.
However, the child seemed more surprised than I thought by my suggestion, so I lightly changed my words as if it were a joke.
‘So, where is this place?’
It’s in the dark with no way out.
Kiki-Kik-Kik.
I was walking slowly through a lonely and dark space looking for a way, and I heard the sound of a broken cogwheel rolling with difficulty somewhere.
Erno Etam turned his gaze toward the source of the sound. There was a very old, huge cog wheel.
And in front of him, a small child was squatting and busy drawing something with sketchbooks, notebooks, and scattered crayons and pencils lined up.
Next to the child, there were several buttons surrounded by transparent, round spheres, and to the left of them, several books that looked like children’s books were piled up.
Erno Etham approached the child with a muffled step.
It was because I felt like the child would be very surprised if I made a sound.
But even that didn’t seem to be of much use.
Crunchy.
Erno Etam didn’t notice the rolling crayon and trampled it.
Sure enough, the child, startled by the sound, turned his head to where Erno Etam was.
The terrified child with round eyes had a familiar face.
“You…”
“Who counts…?”
The child, startled by the sight of Erno Etham, hesitated and stood up from his seat.
“I…”
“It’s strange… I shouldn’t come… No one can come here…”
The child held his breath and shivered.
Erno Etam looked at the frightened child and pursed his lips several times.
“…the way…”
The child’s eyes widened at Erno Etam’s words.
“I am lost.”
Erno Etam, who couldn’t find anything to say, spat out an excuse that was pretty pathetic to think of himself.
“Ah, the road…”
The child nodded as if relieved only then.
“Then I’ll send you back.”
Mister…
At the unfamiliar title, Erno Etam frowned and recited lowly, then smiled.
“You mean?”
“yes!”
“how?”
“Oh, you didn’t know! This is a place where anything I can imagine comes true!”
At the child’s words, Erno Etam’s eyes widened slightly.
It was because it felt very similar to the dragon Eirin’s ability.
“…I see. Why are you here?”
The child’s expression became even more sullen at Erno Etam’s question.
The corners of her eyes drooped down, her lips formed a triangular shape, and her pupils rolled as if looking at her eyes.
“Sasireun…”
The child lowered his voice as if he was talking about a secret, and his lips parted slightly.
