Episode 187
Adela stopped in place and embraced her forearm.
Saaaaa –
A blizzard that seeps deep into the bone.
A field of pure white snow spreads out in front of you.
Adela remembered the hell of a five-year-old wandering aimlessly down the street.
[Adela. I’ll be back soon, right?]
The father smiled as usual and stroked her hair.
[Only 3 days. I’m waiting alone for 3 days. Huh?]
And before leaving, he remembered his mother’s arms that held him tightly.
However, those memories gradually faded.
‘I…’
Even when I ate cold soup after a day. Even when two days passed while hugging a teddy bear. Even after the promised three days passed, the parents did not return.
A week passes.
A month passed.
When she couldn’t even remember her own voice, little by little changes were taking place inside Adela.
And time passed, another month.
Adela no longer missed her parents. I couldn’t even remember the taste of the soybean soup I ate while waiting for three days.
I couldn’t remember my mother’s face or my father’s face. I wasn’t sad anymore.
[…I’m sorry. Adela. If only I had stayed in Italy. This wouldn’t have happened.]
Maybe that’s why?
Even when your own grandfather falls on his knees and weeps. Adela said this with eyes too calm for a five-year-old who had lost her parents.
[are you okay. Grandpa.]
After that incident, Adela rapidly became less talkative. I didn’t laugh anymore. And the day of my parents’ death. Putting a vase by the window, 10-year-old Adela said to Aden.
[…Grandpa.]
In a weak voice, Adela continued slowly.
[I’m not really sad. I don’t feel anything when I look at the picture.]
After saying that, Adela took a seat next to the vase. I fiddled with the old teddy bear sitting by the window.
[That’s why I hate myself so much.]
The only treasure left to Aden.
Adela’s expressionless story made Arden’s heart feel heavy.
[Adela…]
Adela touched the arm of the teddy bear with a face that was insensitive to Aden’s sad expression.
[grandfather. …what is it like to be alive? Am I alive?]
Aden approached Adela without a word and held her delicate hands.
[Adela. swear by my name you are alive go out into the bigger world Meeting many people and going through heart-pounding things.]
Aden’s hands were warm.
The young Adela felt her frozen hands melting from the warmth.
[…you will have a precious person. I laugh with you when you’re happy and cry with you when you’re sad. On lonely days, he will quietly stand by your side.]
[So…. how you feel right now. Limits… don’t be hasty. So don’t rely on someone else’s answer. Wait slowly until that time comes.]
[When that moment comes, ask yourself.]
What is being alive?
Ask yourself if you are alive. Wait for that moment to come.
As a child, Adela did not understand what Aden was saying. I didn’t know what ‘that moment’ that Arden said would come.
I just lived a boring life, feeling insensitive in a gray and frozen world.
but.
thump thump!
just now.
Adela’s heart was beating like crazy. Adela was confused by her own emotions, similar to fear but completely unknowable.
Swoop.
Adela put her hand on her chest. The fast beat was like that of a herbivore being chased by a predator.
Are you afraid of yourself?
So what are you afraid to see?
make your feet freeze
What is the fear that opens the door and prevents you from moving forward?
Seeing the frozen Adela, Shin Yoo-seong slowly approached the door.
Then he put his hand on the huge door and said to Adela.
“…whatever is in front of this. You have no choice but to open the door yourself to see the results.”
Someone else can open the door.
I cannot make a choice for you. The only thing you need to approach the truth you’ve been ignoring is your own choice.
Bubbly.
Adela walked slowly towards the door.
A little hesitation to block Adela before opening the door. But Adela kept her mouth shut and pushed the ice door with both hands.
Goo –
the door opens.
Inside the ice castle, cold air like a cold winter spewed out.
Unlike before, Adela could see the sparsely placed ice statues.
The number of statues decreases as they get closer to Louis’ throne.
In an unknown tension, Adela slowly walked towards the end of the road with an expressionless face.
Bubbly.
Adela never looked at the statues placed next to her. As if he had seen the correct answer, he was walking alone.
And at the end of the road are two statues of familiar yet very different people. Adela looked at the statue’s face with a nonchalant expression.
My mother was spreading her hands with all her might to use the barrier, an attribute. My father was staring at something with clenched fists.
‘…It’s a fact I already knew.’
Mother and father battled Louis and were defeated. The now frozen statue was just the result.
This statue is just a block of ice.
It is nothing.
Even if you grieve in front of a statue, the dead do not come back. Adela’s mind was too rational.
But for some reason, Adela’s hand did not move even when she tried to reach for the statue.
I couldn’t stop shaking.
‘Why…’
Adela frowned and looked at her trembling right hand.
And then.
Yoosung Shin looked at Adela and opened his mouth.
“It is natural. Adela.”
Adela was acting as if her feelings for the first time were strange. But Shin Yooseong knew.
Adela’s feelings are not strange, they are very natural feelings. That’s why Yoosung Shin held Adela’s trembling hand.
“…is it natural?”
Shin Yoo-seong’s warmth transmitted through his hands. Adela was feeling a forgotten warmth, like when Aden held her hand.
Yooseong Shin smiled at Adela who looked at him.
“huh. If this happens, it’s natural to be sad… and to feel like crying. Adela.”
Adela looked at the statue with a blank expression. Adela’s time has passed for more than 10 years, but the time of the frozen statue is still the same.
Adela looked into her father’s eyes reflected behind the clear ice.
[Adela. Mom and I are hunters.]
The father’s voice came from forgotten memories.
[Hunters are people who fight hard to protect the world.]
Even if my father dies in the process. He said he had no regrets.
[Don’t you want me to see you? I can’t see you when I die.]
When Adela, who was less than 4 years old, tilted her head and asked, her father laughed and said.
[…I’m fighting because I miss you.]
I finally remembered.
I didn’t forget That’s such a stupid story. There was no way I could ever forget these memories.
Adela had been deceiving herself. When you find out that you really love your parents.
It was too painful to admit that I couldn’t see you anymore.
Because I couldn’t afford it.
He lied to himself saying that nothing was wrong. I didn’t want to be broken anymore, so I broke myself.
pop. drip.
Adela grabbed the statue’s frozen hand. There was no way I could feel the warmth from the frozen statue.
The frozen statue couldn’t feel its own warmth.
And yet, Adela was doing herself what she dismissed as stupid.
“I…”
Adela opened her mouth, keeping her gaze fixed on the statue.
“Both of you… I didn’t want you to go.”
pop. drip.
Adela shed tears without even the usual sobs.
“I just thought it would be nice to be by your side.”
His house is too large to be alone. because it’s so cold
that’s why she
“I missed you very much…”
I missed you two.
I didn’t forget the two of them. It wasn’t that I didn’t like the choice of the two. It wasn’t that the time we spent together wasn’t happy. I just gave up because I knew I couldn’t go back anymore.
The cruel truth I faced only after seeing the frozen statues of my parents after more than 10 years.
“…I want to go back.”
Shin Yoo-seong silently stood by Adela’s side as she sobbed with her face bowed like the wind in Aden.
