Chapter 40 of the side story. I got a man I love
2022.12.31.
When I woke up after suffering for a long time, my body felt lighter.
When Cianna woke up, the nurse who nursed her worriedly brushed her forehead.
“The fever has gone down a lot. You have no idea how worried the master was.”
“My father?”
“He went to the Hwangseong. Shall we prepare a light meal?”
“I won’t eat, no…I’ll eat.”
It was hard on my heart, but there was something I had to do to get my energy up.
When the food prepared by the nanny was placed in front of her eyes, it was difficult to pass through her mouth, but she ate it anyway.
When Sianna finished eating and said she would go out, the nanny was frightened, but she couldn’t break her stubbornness.
The place where Cianna arrived in the family carriage was the Donovan family’s capital mansion.
The gatekeeper who had blocked the approach of the wagon opened the front door when he confirmed that the wagon that arrived was the wagon of the Marquis of Gardenia.
Considering that Pacifica was almost kicked out when she stayed at the townhouse, it was definitely a thoughtful treatment.
Cyana arrived at the drawing room and Pasifika appeared before the waitress even left the car.
“Long time no see Lady Donovan.”
“…What’s wrong?”
Instead of answering, Siana smiled faintly. When I met Pacifica’s face, fear came over me. A huge sense of guilt overtook Shiana.
‘I came all the way here with great enthusiasm.’
The courage to confess the truth was gradually waning. When Ciana hesitated and couldn’t open her mouth, Pacifica spoke first.
“I heard that you have a cold.”
“How did you know?”
“I met the Marquis of Gardenia at His Majesty’s birthday banquet. Are you okay?”
thud. I felt my heart pounding. Rather than saying that he met the Marquis, he responded to the word ‘His Majesty the Emperor’.
When Cianna’s expression hardened, Pacifica called her back.
“Lady Gardenia?”
“I heard that you have gone through divorce proceedings with His Majesty the Emperor.”
“Is that so.”
Pacifica readily agreed, as if talking to someone else. Since she is a person who does not show her emotions in the first place, Siana did not judge that she would be okay on her own.
“Is Lady Donovan all right?”
“There is no reason not to be okay.”
Shiana bit her lower lip and clenched her fists.
‘I have to tell you.’
When I opened my mouth, a terribly trembling voice came out.
“I deceived you.”
“What are you talking about?”
“I have a man I love.”
“…”
Siana did not dare to look up to see Pacifica’s expression.
I held my trembling hand with the other hand, but the trembling did not go away.
Confession followed.
“The name of the man who introduced himself as a knight of the emperor is Evan…”
“…Evan.”
“That person is the Emperor’s Majesty.”
At last, Cyana lifted her head and faced Pacifica’s face.
There are moments that you want to avoid forever, but you can’t. like right now
‘Pacifica Donovan.’
Seeing her insensitive green eyes, Sianna’s eyes turned red.
solid person. I longed for you standing there without being swept away by any storm.
I wanted to be like you, strong like a reef rooted at the bottom.
But I didn’t want to covet your place.
“Pacifica.”
A faint voice, barely audible, called Pacifica’s name.
At the same time, the two remembered a promise from the past.
A promise from childhood to call each other by name when we meet again later.
Ironically, I never thought the name I spit out for the first time would become now.
While suffering from a high fever, Sianna was finally able to articulate the decision she had made thousands of times.
“I have no intention of betraying you.”
I also have to close this heart.
Let’s kill this agitated feeling just by looking at the sky that resembles that man’s eyes.
Hide the bookmark you made by picking the leaves of the flower the man gave you out of sight.
Let’s stop forgetting that touch that used to be affectionate.
Shiana concluded by herself that it was okay to do something that hadn’t happened in the first place.
He came to Pacifica to confess and atone for his sins.
But Pacifica’s answer was unexpected.
“I don’t consider it a betrayal.”
“How can I take your place…”
“It’s not my place.”
I couldn’t believe at all what Pacifica said, firmly denying that it was not betrayal.
Why is Pacifica so unconcerned when what is visible is so clear?
“He was your husband.”
“Not anymore.”
“…”
“Siana.”
Before long, Pasifika called out to Siana in a low voice.
“yes.”
“I am no longer the Empress. So it doesn’t matter if you are His Majesty’s lover.”
Those stern words did not sound heartless. It was as if she was trying to ease Sianna’s guilt, and she couldn’t bear it even more.
“I also have circumstances that I cannot tell you. What is certain is that neither Shiana nor you should feel guilty.”
What is it that cannot be said?
I wanted to know, but Shiana left the mansion wiping away the tears.
No matter what Pacifica says, everything is already over. Sianna had no intention of reversing her decision.
***
Various rumors swept the capital following the divorce of the emperor and empress. All sorts of malicious rumors spread.
From rumors that the emperor abandoned the empress right after the birth of the prince to rumors that the emperor actually had another lover.
Despite the rumors surrounding him, Esteban did not respond.
However, the officials had no choice but to hold their breath at the presence of the emperor, who was positioned with a sharper momentum than usual during the government meeting.
“You’ve become much gentler lately, but you seem to have become more bloody.”
“Isn’t it related to Her Majesty the former empress?”
“Be careful with your mouth. If it ever gets into His Majesty’s ears, big trouble will happen.”
For some reason, Esteban’s mood was soft recently, and everyone was delighted. However, the atmosphere became quite sharp around the birthday banquet.
Gustav, who knew the circumstances of the incident, unlike other servants who noticed, was stunned.
“I don’t know if he’s not eating and sleeping properly…”
Even so, he was digesting the emperor’s tight schedule.
I was not the only one who was worried that I would fall down.
Esteban, who kept his mouth shut with a bitter face, looked up.
“Gustav.”
“Yes, Your Majesty.”
“…Siana?”
“They say you’ve improved a lot.”
“I’m glad.”
Like this, Esteban would ask Gustav how Siana was doing several times a day.
Gustaf, who watched the scene as it was, was troubled.
‘May I report this.’
Reports had come in that Cianna had stopped by Duke Donovan’s mansion, but he had been putting it off because he didn’t know what the consequences would be.
Esteban, noticing the aide’s dubious side, raised his gaze.
“Tell me.”
“That… This is the information that came in as a report earlier. It looks like Lady Gardenia met Lady Donovan.”
Esteban’s face, which was otherwise pale, became even paler.
It wasn’t hard to guess why Cyana was looking for Pacifica.
Since he was a kind person, he would have confessed the truth to Pacifica and apologized.
And that meant abandoning Esteban.
“Siana…”
A sorrowful voice escaped her lips. The papers he was looking at didn’t even catch his eye, so he threw away the pen and buried his face in his hands.
It’s been a while since I haven’t seen Siana. Now even when I close my eyes, the face doesn’t immediately come to mind.
Gustav, who had been staring at the groaning Esteban, cautiously opened his mouth.
“Your Majesty.”
“…”
“Why don’t you ask Lady Donovan for help?”
“…what?”
Esteban watched Gustav with sharp eyes. Even as he flinched, he clearly said what he had been thinking all along.
“The reason Lady Gardenia broke up was because Lady Donovan was the empress.”
“so.”
“It is to prove that no feelings remain between Her Majesty and Lady Donovan.”
It was then. As soon as Gustav finished speaking, Esteban jumped up from his seat.
Gustav followed him out of the office without hesitation.
“Where are you going?”
“To see Pacifica Donovan.”
It was worth moving if there was even a hint of a way out of the situation.
Even if it meant stripping away all of his dignity as an emperor.
Pride was a luxury. He suppressed the desire to cry and pray to Siana right away, but there was no reason that meeting Pacifica would be more difficult.
Esteban was aware of malicious rumors circulating. In such a situation, meeting Pacifica in a carriage with the emblem of the imperial family was an idiot.
I don’t mind ruining my reputation, but I didn’t want Pacifica’s reputation ruined.
Esteban rode in a carriage without a coat of arms and arrived at the Donovan capital’s mansion.
Although it was an unexpected guest, Pasifika came down to the drawing room right away.
“Meet Your Majesty the Emperor.”
“Siana-.”
Esteban, who immediately mentioned Siana’s name, closed his mouth again.
My mind was tangled up and I didn’t know what to say. Pacifica waited patiently for Esteban.
Before long, Esteban asked her a question.
“She said Cyana found you.”
“yes.”
“What did you say?”
“I cannot tell anyone about the conversation.”
Pacifica’s attitude of not being able to tell personal stories even though the other person is the emperor was as expected.
“Yes…”
Esteban smiled bitterly and nodded. I could tell without hearing it. It will be as expected.
“I must have asked for your apology.”
“…”
“I feel sorry for the princess.”
I was absorbed in the tickling of my first love and had no time to think of anything else.
That he was the emperor and that he was not yet officially divorced from the empress.
Even though only the person concerned knew the inside story, he thought that Siana would understand because he was generous with himself.
“You don’t have to apologize to me.”
“no. I lacked respect for you. It’s my fault.”
“What are you going to do now?”
Esteban’s expression collapsed endlessly at that question.
“She asked for forgiveness from Siana…”
At that moment, I remembered Siana’s back as she was walking in the rain with her back turned.
Siana will not forgive herself.
As soon as I thought about it, my head felt dizzy, as if I had been hit in the head with a blunt instrument.
“I heard that you have a close relationship with Siana. So, can’t the princess help me?”
“…there is nothing I can do.”
Pacifica told Sianna that she meant nothing to their relationship.
However, he couldn’t bring back Shiana’s already broken heart.
“Princess please.”
“You have been away for a long time.”
Esteban slowly rose from his seat at Pasifika’s euphemistic refusal.
and got down on his knees
Pasifika, watching the collapse of the emperor, was not agitated, but it was enough to cause some confusion in her emotions.
Esteban begged bitterly.
“As you wish, I will support you so that you can rightfully occupy the duchy. So… please help me to change Siana’s heart.”
It was the first time he had seen the emperor crumble to the point of crumbling.
I always thought he would be a cynical man.
Pacifica remembered Ciana’s face as she left with tears in her eyes.
‘It’s really funny.’
One person who kills her heart even though they share the same mind, and one person who would even kneel down to have her heart.
Pacifica, which did not want to intervene, eventually gave up.
“…then would it be all right if I disclosed my prenuptial agreement with Her Majesty?”
“It doesn’t matter. If Ciana accepts me.”
With those words, the condition of not divulging the story of the contract marriage to others became a piece of paper.
“great.”
So the two signed a new contract.
Side by side, the two signed a contract that detailed both material and political support for her to assume the dukedom.
Before long, Esteban sang Pacifica.
“Gongnyeo.”
“yes.”
“You were right. In the end, I regretted my past choices.”
Esteban was foolish.
“You won’t regret it. Maybe later, if His Majesty finds someone he likes—”
“Princess. You’re a rather sentimental person than you look.”
“Well, is love really that important?”
“That would never come in my life.”
I felt like I wanted to kill my past self, who spewed reckless remarks without seeing an inch in front of me.
Pacifica smiled bitterly at Esteban, who regretted it.
“Having a crush on someone comes at an unexpected moment.”
Whether it’s the opposite sex or between parents and children.
Just as Pacifica was helplessly enthralled by a child with identical green eyes.
The next day, Pacifica invited Sianna to her mansion.
It was time to fulfill the new contract.
