The great mage who transcends by returning, episode 291
Half God.
Of course, I know that the meaning of the word is never light.
Especially if it means something directly related to me.
I am a demigod.
But until now, I wasn’t fully aware that I was a demigod.
In a way, it was natural.
Even if he had half the status of a god, he hadn’t directly experienced it.
It is true that the possibility has increased, but it is not to the extent that the ‘possibility’ can be felt.
The feeling of being located in the intermediate stage between human and divine existence.
So far, that hasn’t been clear to me.
Even reaching the level of a half-god in the first place was not intentional, but a result close to coincidence.
but.
“…What is this?”
“I broke through the passage. I guess this is all I can do, as a mere reenactment.”
I frowned.
The brain has two eyes… ….
The pain came as if it would boil at any moment.
As if a switch that I had unconsciously forgotten was turned on, I feel that my field of vision has completely changed.
The fantasy, which had been nothing different from ‘reality’ until just now, looked different.
Everything was hanging by a thread as if prepared.
As if all this were a gigantic theatrical stage.
It was the same with small trees and grass.
The threads that were connected like that came together and embraced a terrifyingly deep light.
“Ouch…!”
Soon after, I closed my eyes tightly.
An overload of information that feels like a changed landscape right now. It feels like my brain will burn with just that.
Asar’s calm voice was heard.
“It is natural that it is not easy to adapt right now. First of all, it is the realm of God.”
“…Have you always been watching this damn sight?”
“I was always watching. However, Asar was originally such a being. It is different with you.”
He said that and looked up at the sky.
I couldn’t see his face properly, but somehow I assumed he was a bit bitter.
“Eventually you will have to adapt. Awareness of being a being with the status of a god and adaptation to that power… ….”
He was silent for a while after that.
He didn’t seem to want to talk about it any more, but… ….
“Is that okay?”
What I’m curious about is what I’m curious about.
I asked him, clutching my throbbing head.
“According to what I’ve heard so far, you wanted to exclude ‘divine beings’ from this world.”
“…It did.”
The only exception was Hekau.
However, it is also ambiguous to view her as a complete ‘divine being’.
It is certainly a transcendent being and has the qualifications of a god worshiped in religion, but it is true that it is lacking compared to Asar or a demon.
I guess that’s why I left it there in the first place.
Since she was a divine being who maintained the world but could not exert more influence than necessary, she must have been considered suitable for the future.
but.
‘How about me?’
Even if I don’t become a ‘perfect god’, can you be sure that there is no possibility at all?
no it won’t
There is no such thing as zero probability.
As a creature, if you have obtained the status of a demigod, that would mean that even more is possible.
There’s no way Asar doesn’t know that.
But even knowing that, he opened the way for me.
“Did you choose the lesser evil because I am the only one who can stand against the Demon God?”
“No, no. didn’t you say What Asar chose for ‘Humanity’ was the best. Your existence is also part of that ‘best’.”
“That means even my existence is part of your plan….”
“Yes and no.”
It was an ambiguous answer.
He added that he thought that answer was not enough.
“Asar believed in humanity. I believed in the value that Asar’s creatures would create. I believed that the future would yield the right results.”
“….”
“Belief in God is not something that can be explained as a plan or something. It is a necessity in itself.”
“Is that so.”
“You are not a puppet in Asar’s plans. You have won your own destiny, and you are still trying to fight against the gods for it.”
Blue eyes stared at me quietly.
I felt a strong sense of trust.
“Asar only believed. The ‘possibility’ he believed would stop his adversary. It is entirely up to you to create this outcome.”
“….”
“Do you want to become a god?”
A question that came to me out of the blue.
Of course, I didn’t have to think deeply about the answer.
The answer to this question has been decided from the beginning.
“I don’t want to. The value of existence in its own right is only to deal with a god full of malice.”
“So that’s what happened. If you made that decision, that is the right answer and right. you won’t change yes obviously… ….”
Asar’s eyes widened.
Compared to before, his appearance began to look more ‘certainly’.
“Your resolution hasn’t changed even after going through that hell.”
“….”
Asar’s eyes contained my past. No, it contained the future that had already passed.
“You have seen God. A god who has malice towards mankind. Of course, he was defeated and must have suffered indescribable despair.”
“….”
“I know that your eccentric side is a defense mechanism developed in overcoming that despair. You pretend to be fine on the outside, but on the inside you know that you’re so spoiled that you can’t stand it otherwise.”
As if it were natural, Asar knew everything about me.
It easily sees through all of my circumstances and intentions that even Hekau couldn’t grasp.
“I affirm the pain and suffering you went through. There is nothing wrong with that. It means that it is already worth it just for you to go through suffering.”
“Is that so.”
“Your story began with loss and pain. As an immature child, you grew up with one loss and only then did you define yourself.”
“….”
“You tried to atone. You tried to look straight at your mistakes and it made you grow. It all made sense. And finally you came before me.”
Asar laughed.
“As a warrior and protector of mankind, I came to you with the right intentions.”
the past has passed
It is a burden that is still weighing down on my shoulders.
This burden won’t go away until the problem with the Demon God is resolved.
No, even after that… ….
‘Will it disappear?’
The ‘future’ I returned to has disappeared.
yes it is gone
Even if I defeat the demon and win a happy future, that future won’t come back.
colleagues who were with them.
Those who sacrificed for me.
can’t be saved
It just went on and on.
At that moment, my heart felt heavy.
“You mean it right….”
The reality that I had been trying to ignore was quietly pressing on my shoulders again.
Originally, he wouldn’t have shown weakness.
Isn’t the existence of a warrior like that?
Even if I was shameless, I wanted to be a believable supporter.
But you can’t always be strong.
“…Do you really think I will never change? will not break… …Do you like it?”
“Yes.”
Asar answered without any hesitation.
“I acknowledge that you are the successor of ‘Asar’ and that you are the right person to carry on the arrangements he left behind. Your trajectory I saw was worth it.”
“It may fail.”
“No, it is not. The ‘Mikhail Walpurgis’ I saw is something to be won, far from being broken.”
Say you deserve to stand up and everything you’ve done so far has been meaningful.
But but… ….
Is it really like that?
What about my colleagues who couldn’t be saved in the end?
Soo-king Moo-hyul.
Fairy King Jihad.
Saint Ariandel.
Siegfried… ….
And the many lost ties… …?
“…I know you won’t come back. I know it has passed and I must admit that I have lost it.”
“….”
“But it won’t be easy. No matter what I say, the guilt I harbor will not go away.”
If I truly stand tall as a ‘god’ on an equal footing with the demon god beyond being a demigod.
If this longing I feel right now catches my ankle… ….
“I may somehow try to get back what I lost.”
remember
I remember the moon in the night sky I saw with my colleagues.
I clearly remember the moment when I felt happy and laughed in that short moment.
I vomited on Asar.
A secret that has been hidden until now.
The craving that I was trying to turn away because I knew it was ‘not right’.
And Asar, who had been quietly listening to my words, spoke.
“Why was that craving so bad?”
“Because it might make me make the wrong choice.”
“No, no.”
Asar took a step.
At that moment, the surroundings changed again.
night sky.
The meadow where I sometimes stayed up all night with my colleagues was spread out.
“It is the opposite. Your ‘craving’ and the belief that blocks that craving is what completes you as an extremely human being.”
“…!”
“I believe. As a completed human being, you will maintain a precarious boundary between the two.”
Nevertheless, Asar affirmed.
As a god, he affirms the anxiety of creation and at the same time affirms the future.
“…Haha, aren’t you saying that we have to let go of past memories?”
“It would be unwise to ask to do the impossible. I just believe.”
I laughed unconsciously.
I never thought I would hear something like this against God.
Would you say that it is also a god?
For some reason, the pain in his head was less than before.
My eyesight seems to have adapted quite a bit too.
“I feel a little better now.”
“Then I’m glad.”
After he said that, he put his hands behind his back and suddenly frowned.
“I guess I’ll have something to take care of as soon as I get out of here.”
“I guess so.”
Due to Asar’s measures, his understanding as a demigod increased, and he could clearly feel things that he would not have felt originally.
I was able to see what the current situation was outside of this fantasy and what ‘what’ would happen in the near future.
Should I call it future?
“How are you?”
“How will it be?”
Asar smiled faintly as if it were natural.
“It just disappears like this. It’s funny how remnants of a god that existed long ago still exist.”
“…Is that so.”
“There is no need to be sorry or sad. Because it’s natural.”
He said, looking over my shoulder.
“Then go now.”
“It is.”
I too have work to do, so I can’t delay any longer.
I left Asar.
The space where you can go outside is fixed.
You have to go there first.
But then.
– Contractor Can I stay here for a minute?
Weiss looked at me while saying that.
Of course, there is no reason to refuse.
After all, I own this ‘similar world’.
“It doesn’t matter. why?”
– I just want to see it because I have a little interest in this world.
Wise fell off my shoulder and landed.
– Will you allow me?
“Do whatever you want.”
If Wise wants to do that, it means that he has a good reason.
– thanks.
Weiss said that and lowered her head.
Leaving behind the guy who was getting farther away, I threw myself towards the ‘outside’.
Now back… ….
The time has come to hunt demons.
* * *
With his hands behind his back, Asar looked up at the unchangingly clear sky.
Compared to before, his body was fading in an indescribably clear way.
I mean really disappear.
“Hmm….”
Although he was only a representation, he was still thinking and moving as ‘Asar’.
Even if he denies that he is the real Asar, that fact does not change.
That’s why he had no fear of disappearing.
He also has no desire to continue his life.
but….
Still, there are stories that must end.
how long was that
A man with red eyes shining like Mikhail, who had just spoken with him, reached Asar.
A smile formed on his lips.
“Ah, come on.”
Asar greeted the visitor with a smile on his face as if he had been waiting since the beginning.
“My son Solomon.”
And with him, another story that had stopped began.
