Chapter.5 Inside Out (4)
***
“…Ha. “You’re my damn son.”
Woojin, who had been glaring at the professor by the collar, let out a sigh full of meaning and sat down again.
“Hey Metal.”
flinch!
“What! I’ve finished the treatment, so don’t touch it! Neat! “It was tied very neatly!”
“Stop talking nonsense and give me a cigarette.”
Ian’s face, who had been looking at him in surprise in the corner, suddenly frowned.
“Ac… Do you know how many cigarettes you got from me to smoke? Even if you roughly count, it’s more than one carton, and for that, you can buy a cool machine gun from the exchange…”
“So you can’t give it to me?”
“……”
Whisper
!
“thanks.”
“I guess nuclear bombs can catch ghosts too. “When I see an old man like you alive and not dead.”
In the end, Ian emptied his pockets. In fact, if you don’t give it to the end and hold on, it may not be given to you, but in that case, there is a very high probability that that old man will become vicious. Ian was a man who was willing to sacrifice a cigarette for his friend who was captured by a wild beast.
Twisting, twiddling,
“Chin ridge.”
“Oh what else! “No one has a filter!”
“Not that one. “Some fire.”
Quick!
Ian barely swallowed the expletives coming out of his mouth, took out a silver Zippo lighter from his pocket, and threw it with all his might.
Less evil!
“thanks.”
“C’mon. “Get out there.”
Click- Pong!
Chik Chik
Woojin lit the cigarette in his mouth and took a big inhale. Peace was returning to his face, as if the venom that had filled his face, distorted like a demon, was released along with the smoke.
“Whoa. If your gunpowder business goes bankrupt, start growing cigarettes. They say everything in the world happens for a reason. Maybe the reason I picked you up in the truck in the wasteland that day was so I could get these cigarettes to smoke. “Hmm, maybe it’s because I didn’t buy it with my own money, but the taste is really special.”
“….tsk.”
When Ian, with a very distressed look on his face, spat into a spittoon provided on one side of the treatment room, the old man saw the sight and chuckled as if he was going to die of laughter.
The professor sighed in bewilderment as he saw Woojin, who had been so angry as if he would kill someone just a moment ago, but suddenly smiled heartily again.
“If there had been one more doctor in the real wasteland, he wouldn’t have come here. “I can’t believe a patient with bipolar disorder is coming to get psychological counseling.”
“Don’t set the standard as before the destruction, you bastard. “Compared to someone who suffers from PTSD and schizophrenia, who habitually self-harms and attempts suicide, bipolar disorder doesn’t even show up as a business card.”
Woojin turned the professor into a mute and then returned the lighter to Ian. When the smoke from the cigarettes the two people were smoking filled the room and Bex, who had been hiding somewhere but couldn’t be seen, came back, Woojin opened his mouth.
“It’s called ‘encroachment’… Professor Park, didn’t you stop playing that game? “You say you feel guilty because your parents’ copied data is there, but you’re also afraid you’ll end up running there again?”
“Haaah. It was like that. Even now, that feeling is still the same. But life in the wasteland is not something you can live doing only what you want to do.”
The professor went through the last 12 days of his journey with a vague, sorrowful, and vague expression on his face. If you think about it, it was funny. The generator broke down and I started playing the concept. Meeting Notum, entering Turan, surviving as a conscript, meeting Charlotte and Edeorna, becoming a debtor due to Corduro’s misbehavior, and getting involved in the treasure hunt in District 45 while leaving for District 43. And. From meeting two friends who were sitting behind him and listening to him with rabbit-like eyes, to becoming an experiment, overcoming his mother’s trauma, meeting Hyde, destroying the magic tower, and coming here. Even though I said it myself, I couldn’t believe that this had happened in just 12 days. Even though time in the game passes 5 times faster than in reality, too much happened.
Woojin quietly closed his eyes and listened to the numerous stories that calmly flowed from the professor’s mouth.
“…That’s how that guy named Hyde took root in my head. I don’t know how this phenomenon is possible, but according to him, there is nothing more foolish than worrying about a phenomenon that has already occurred. Personally, I agree. “It’s foolish to dwell on the past when it’s not enough to just think about what will happen in the future.”
“Hmm… Very impressive… It’s a story. “Encroachment is a phenomenon that has been an issue in the community for quite some time.”
Woojin put the cigarette he received from Ian between his teeth and burned it all the way to the end, then spit out the remaining ash in his mouth and opened his mouth with a serious expression.
“Professor Park. There are a lot of things I want to say, but let me touch on this one first. “Do you like that guy named ‘Hyde’?”
“….yes?”
No, the old man has finally lost his mind. What does this mean again?
“What does that mean… narcissism or something?”
“well. I’ve been listening to what the four professors have to say, and every time they talk about the parasite or Hyde, I get a very… positive feeling. “Even though he’s digging through your memories, uncovering your trauma, and even controlling parts of your body.”
“I am. “You said that?”
Woojin frowned as he looked at the professor’s embarrassed face. In fact, he had no expert knowledge in this area. It’s just that more than 90% of patients who come to hospitals are mentally ill, so we’re just naturally used to this.
“okay. We’ve seen each other for quite some time. So, I know a little bit about Professor Park…”
Talk knock knock.
When Woojin glanced at Ian behind the professor and knocked on the desk, Ian, who had been listening to the two men’s story with interest, threw the cigarette pack to Woojin.
Click-
“First of all, Professor, you have a very serious affection deficiency disorder.”
With a cigarette in his mouth, Woojin began explaining one by one the professors he knew.
“I guess I consider myself insensitive to things like this. I’ve been through war and survived in the wasteland for quite a long time. But, as you know, what led you through that rough life until now was the memory of the unbearable love you received from your parents. “Your life was just lived without a single milestone, tied to those memories.”
The professor wanted to retort, but had nothing to say. It is true that he has lived with only one goal until now.
“In other words, it’s not that you lack affection… It’s probably closer to love addiction. Even though you have the cool and rational judgment of a wasteland person, you cannot reject someone who approaches you positively.
If I had to express it, should I say that he is a ‘very easy man’? Once someone extends their hand to you, you don’t hesitate to join their hand. Because the memory of the love that was given to you even at the cost of giving up everything is already embedded deep in your soul. “You have become so hardened that you cannot let go of your expectations of such affection.”
Thump, thump
, Woojin said and shook out the cigarette ash in the ashtray. The professor was embarrassed because he felt as if the red flame that shook off the cigarette ash was his inner self that shook off the shell of reason.
“You’re reacting the same way to that friend named Hyd. He was a bit harsh at first, but after a while he started to become nice to you. So, without realizing it, I started to have expectations. ‘He’s dangerous, but how can we live together?’ do. The happy memories I had with the friends I made recently probably also had some influence. “Because the ‘loneliness of living alone,’ which I had lived with as if it were my skin, has disappeared.”
[Giggles. They say the shell is like that? Is it a little touching?]
“That’s ridiculous…!”
“Oh, you’re going to deny it? You know what? Professor, since you entered this clinic, you have not once asked me ‘how to get rid of this mental illness’? I just said I had a mental illness. You too are confused. Even though I instinctively feel that this guy is dangerous, I also feel friendship towards him. A companion who looks into your innermost self. I started to think that maybe I could become something like that. That’s why I came here. You said you came for treatment, but what you really wanted was just counseling. This and that happened. Just listen to me. “This was the purpose.”
He’s twenty-four years old and he’s like a brat.
Woojin trailed off after the last sentence. It was Bex who spoke in silence so heavy that the thick smoke in the treatment room subsided.
“I… I know it’s something important, but it’s very important. So, I want to know what to do, but…”
“Hmm? Ah, that’s right. This, this, I’m old too. You’re just talking nonsense. To conclude, regardless of your opinion, Professor, that guy named Hyde must be eliminated.”
flinch!
[Oh my gosh.]
The professor’s left finger twitched at Woojin’s words.
“If it was just an ordinary ego split, there would have been a way to survive. But after listening to the story, I heard that the consciousness of Hyde is growing at a very fast rate. By using the memories of a person named Professor Park as food. This is a very serious matter. The wealth consciousness called Hyde wants to go out into the outside world, is growing rapidly, and even has complete control over parts of the body. The human body naturally strives to return to normal if something is abnormal. Looking at the fact that the consciousness has not faded so far, it means that the consciousness is growing faster than the natural effort. What would happen if Hyde’s part becomes bigger than you, Professor Park?”
“…It will be swallowed up.”
“That’s accurate. From then on, the body will move in the direction of eliminating the small consciousness called Professor Park in order to return to normal. Of course, there’s no telling how long it will take for that to happen. You still occupy most of your consciousness, and the ego you have built up over the past 24 years is not that weak. “But,”
Woojin said with a serious face, taking off the glasses he was wearing.
“If you leave him alone, someday the consciousness of the name Professor Park will disappear. Like the famous man-eating monster player and other players who lost their minds due to encroachment and repeated strange behavior before dying. GG is not a game made just for laughing and having fun. “It’s a device created for some very great purpose that we don’t know.”
As Woojin said that, he stared at the professor’s left hand, which had been twitching from before.
Toktook – Toktooktook –
A message made up of Morse code sent to the professor by secretly moving his fingers while the professor is immersed in his story and unconscious.
[Fuck you. Eat. Old man.]
“…Professor Park, do you know how to use Morse code?”
“yes? Oh yes. “I learned it when I was in the military, but… I forgot everything?”
“okay. That’s right….”
You arrogant bastard.
A fierce smile appeared on Woojin’s lips as he looked at his fingers still twitching.
“This treatment took too long. I’ll come to a conclusion. From the looks of it, this isn’t a problem that can be solved with drugs like tranquilizers. He has a program called GG planted in his head that can read a person’s consciousness and express it in action. “There is no way to do anything with current technology as the world has been destroyed.”
Green onions!
As Woojin said that, he stretched out his arm like lightning and firmly pinned the professor’s left hand on the desk. Before he knew it, he was holding a sharp scalpel in his right hand.
“Ugh!”
Jump up!
“Hey, old man Woojin! “What are you doing?”
“Put down that knife. “The moment you touch Hepburn, I will rip your ass off.”
“under! Why not try it? This is the first method. “He said the moving parts right now are these three left fingers, right?”
A scalpel as sharp as a razor blade touched the skin, and bright red blood flowed out.
“Cut it all down. “So that he can’t do anything and just spins around in his head.”
“Hey! “The old man is saying that now…!”
“Vex calm down…. “Holy shit!”
Craddangtangtang!
Ian said as he overpowered Bex, who rolled her eyes when she saw the blood on the professor’s hand.
“Young Master! That’s really the only way! hey! professor! “Please say something too!”
“It’s not that I don’t speak, it’s that I can’t! The guy who is in danger of losing his share is going to run amok! If not, please answer! “If you can’t answer, I’ll judge that you don’t have the strength to overcome it on your own and I’ll cut off your finger!”
“Keuuuuuu!!”
As Woojin said, the professor’s consciousness was in great confusion. Hyde, who had been running around playfully just a moment ago, was confused as to where he had gone. Emotions that could not be put into words, such as embarrassment, anger, greed, worry, and a bit of sadness, were running wild and swirling in the professor’s head.
The professor could tell. Hive was clearly targeting his body, but he wasn’t that bad of a guy. I’m just a child who hasn’t learned yet. It was an understanding that could be shared between beings who were at a level of consciousness that could not be explained in words.
‘I need to explain that, but explain… Please stay still!’
I can’t move my body or open my mouth. It’s not that Hyde occupies a large part of the body, but that he loses his temper and runs wild, paralyzing his brain.
“I’ll count to three and cut! one!”
‘Damn it, Hyde! Please calm down! If things continue like this, both you and I will have our fingers blown off!’
I could feel it clearly. Hyde was horrified. Anxiety that I would lose my only remaining sense organ, which was my sense of touch, and that I would have no choice but to feel my senses indirectly like before.
‘No, that’s not it. A fundamental anxiety that goes deeper than that… loneliness?’
Only then did the professor realize where and what went wrong.
[I need to treat this ‘mental illness.’]
A word I blurted out as I left the shelter.
He is close to my cloned soul. Now that he has come to the hospital to solve Hyde, he is overcome with fear that he will be abandoned. From the moment he was born in my consciousness until now, he has talked to me, learned through me, and felt the world. To him, I was his only family.
“two!”
‘If that’s the case, we should talk about it a long time ago! I’m just stupidly pretending it’s nothing, keeping my mouth shut, pretending to be okay, pretending to be fine, and making jokes like I always do! Just make sure…’
Just like me. Resembles. This guy resembles me before I overcame the trauma.
‘Anyway, if you don’t want to learn something, make sure you learn it first! “You’re either talking nonsense or talking about something you don’t have-”
“Seh-”
“You’re sitting there sulking alone like an idiot!!”
Quang!
Just before Woojin’s scalpel sliced off his finger, the professor, whose eyes were so wide as to explode, let out a scream and hit his head on the desk.
Pop. Pop.
The professor, who regained control of his body just before his finger was cut off, looked straight at Woojin without even wiping his bleeding forehead and spoke.
“Why are you scaring a child who is less than a year old when you don’t even know him well? “The kid is so scared that he’s gone crazy now!”
Woojin, who was glaring at him with a cold face at the professor’s shout, and Vex, who was writhing on the floor, and Ian, who was suppressing Vex, also froze.
“Huh huh huh huh huh! Hehehehe!”
And Woojin’s mouth, which had been as hard as ice, twitched and immediately started laughing like a crazy person.
“Oh my goodness! I thought it would be good, but I never thought it would be this good! ‘Ae’ is ‘Ae’! What are you doing to my ‘child’? Hehehe! “Oh my goodness!”
Woojin spoke while laughing endlessly in front of the professor who was frozen in a daze.
“It’s just a test, you idiot! See how far you and him have come!”
***
