Episode 1444. What should I do? (4)
Tanggunak stared at the sky in silence for a long time.
‘It’s happiness…’
Cheongmyeong’s words may be right.
Did the founder of the Tang family, who first took root in the land of Sacheon and gathered his family, really want his descendants to make a name for themselves throughout the world?
Probably not.
He probably just wanted his family and their descendants to live in an unfamiliar and remote land to be at peace. That may be why we taught them how to build a fence and protect themselves.
“⋯⋯In the end, your words⋯⋯.”
When Tang Gunak looked towards Cheongmyeong, Cheongmyeong cleared his throat and naturally wiped his face with his sleeve. And he calmly shrugged his shoulders.
“Of course poison is important. Memorization is also important. And the reputation of the party is also important.”
“⋯⋯That’s right.”
“But isn’t that just a means for those who belong to the party to live a peaceful life? “The more we can get them, the safer our people will be.”
Tang Gunak nodded. That is definitely true.
“But humans are so strange. If you become obsessed with the means to achieve that goal, at some point the means will become the goal. It’s like…”
“You mean like me now?”
Cheongmyeong shook his head.
“I’m not just saying this to the head of the family. At some point, Sacheondanga became like that. “Already from a long time ago.”
If those stars are the eyes of Tang people looking down on Tang military music, then among those eyes there will also be the eyes of Tang Bao.
‘I was frustrated.’
Party officials realized that fact early on. Even though he saw the limitations of poison, he thought it strange that people were obsessed with poison, and he worked hard to break that mold.
However, what he faced was an unbreakable fortress firmly armed in the name of family law. No matter how much he raised his voice, he alone, not even the head of the family, could change anything.
The fact that Tang Bo was unable to stay attached to his family and spent time wandering around the world, and the fact that he eventually came to Qingming and tried to raise his reputation by making a secret bid, may have been his own effort to change what did not change.
‘What a bundle of contradictions.’
He was disgusted by Tang family, but he also could not let go of Tang family for the rest of his life. Even the moment you take your last breath.
Is the party news the only one that has lived with contradictions that cannot be resolved?
“I heard that those who make poison in the Tang family cannot leave the fence of the Tang family for the rest of their lives.”
“⋯⋯That’s right.”
This is to prevent leakage. If they leave the Tang family and are kidnapped in a hostile place, many secrets about the Tang family will be revealed.
“The same goes for the workshop. “Those who have learned the vision of the Tang family live in bondage to the Party for the rest of their lives.”
“⋯⋯.”
“Women, no matter what you say, your mouth will only hurt.”
Tang Gunak nodded heavily.
He knows it too. The fact that those who support the party lead a difficult life. The name of Sacheondanga was established on the sacrifices of so many people.
“But it’s not like the Tang family martial artists who learn martial arts based on their sacrifices live such great lives. “You can tell just by looking at the head of the family, right?”
“⋯⋯What do you know when you look at me?”
“Your eyebrows always look like this.”
Cheongmyeong deeply wrinkled his forehead with his fingers. Tanggunak burst out laughing at the somewhat comical imitation.
“…Isn’t that inevitable? “Because I’m going.”
“Who decided that?”
“hmm?”
“Who decided that the head of the Tang family must take on all the burden and somehow make the Tang family the best martial arts family in the world? “Was that the matriarch’s dream in the first place?”
Tanggunak closed his mouth. Normally, he would of course have answered ‘yes’. But now those words didn’t come out easily.
Because I just believed that.
From a childhood he couldn’t even remember, he just knew he had to do that.
“The matriarch is not that kind of person.”
“⋯⋯Why do you think that?”
“You can tell just by looking at how he treats Soso. The head of the family is a person who just wants Soso to be happy. “It won’t be any different just because the opponents are different Gasols.”
Tang Gunak was silent as he could not find anything to refute. Meanwhile, Cheongmyeong opened his mouth again.
“It’s sad. Because the system created to make everyone happy is starting to make things difficult for everyone. But at some point, it became something that had to be endured for granted.”
Tanggunak opened his mouth in a slightly stiff voice.
“Hwasan Sword Association. But can’t you know the intentions of our ancestors who created the Tang song?”
“I can tell.”
“⋯⋯You can tell?”
“yes. It’s so easy to see. Especially if it’s a party song.”
Tang Junak frowned at Qingming’s words. Isn’t this too much of an assurance?
“How can I know? “They are already hundreds of years old.”
“It’s still the same. “Even if thousands, if not hundreds, of years pass… the way parents think about their children will not be different.”
At that moment, Tang Kun-Yeok looked at Qingming with blank eyes.
“Did you say parents…?”
“yes. “They talk grandly about being our ancestors, but in the end, they are just parents who were worried about their children after they died.”
Cheongmyeong chuckled softly.
“Did those noblemen really worry about the head of the family hundreds of years later and create family laws?”
“⋯⋯I guess that’s not true.”
“yes. Then it’s easy. Why did they create such a law? “What did those people really want?”
Cheongmyeong’s laughter died down slightly. He spoke quietly with his eyes fixed on the sky.
“I don’t really know what a parent’s feelings are, but I know how a teacher looks at his students or the death penalty.”
Cheongmyeong’s gaze slowly moved from the sky to the side. In that unseen place beyond the thick reeds, the people of the volcano are sleeping.
“I hope I become stronger.”
“⋯⋯.”
“But I hope it doesn’t go too far. Then it’s difficult. It would be enough to just satisfy oneself, but they are too greedy.”
“⋯⋯Aren’t you the one who made it like that?”
“that’s right.”
Cheongmyeong nodded.
“It would be nice if it were just appropriate, but I don’t know where that appropriateness is. When you think it’s over, the thought suddenly comes again. What if some stronger guys attack these guys? “What if I’m not there then?”
“⋯⋯I understand.”
“yes? What?”
“That’s what happens because you’re a coward.”
Cheongmyeong distorted his face and grumbled.
“I don’t think there’s much difference between us.”
“⋯⋯I can’t deny that.”
Tang Gunak chuckled. Nothing in particular has been resolved. But as we talked, I somehow felt at ease.
“Parents…”
What kind of life do you want your children to live?
What does Tanggunak, a human being who is not the head of the Tang family, want?
At that time, Cheongmyeong spoke again.
“It’s really difficult. It is difficult for parents and children who spend their entire lives to fully understand each other’s intentions. “After all, people cannot look into other people’s hearts.”
“⋯⋯.”
“I can only guess.”
“Because that’s how I feel.”
“yes. that’s right.”
Tang Gunak nodded. I felt like I knew what Cheongmyeong was trying to say.
There is no need to worry about what the ancestors of the Tang family felt. All he has to do is become the ancestor of the party.
“What I want for my children now that they have to change their home and settle in an unfamiliar place…”
Tang Gunak closed his eyes.
Now I felt like I could vaguely understand the feelings of my ancestors. Because I am in that position now.
“I can’t help what I lost. Regret and resentment won’t come back. Are you blaming yourself? “If you want to do it, do whatever you want.”
“⋯⋯.”
“but.”
Cheongmyeong’s eyes turn to a distant place.
“There are some things you have to lose to learn. So, because we lost something, there is something we can gain.”
Tang Gunak quietly squeezed his hand.
“I am sure. “No matter what form it takes… Those who have lost something they should not have lost are the ones who will become stronger.”
Tanggunak silently nodded his head in approval.
If Tang Gunak had heard what Cheongmyeong was saying just a few days ago before things happened like this, he probably wouldn’t have sympathized. He would have devoted his entire life to simply making things that were already solid a little stronger. Even if it means causing hardship to everyone he cares about.
Tang Kun-Yeok stared at Qingming.
“Hwasan Sword Association. “Is that why you gathered those people?”
“Yes?”
“I’m talking about Cheon Woo-maeng.”
It is truly an unfortunate incident.
Most people who belong to the Heavenly Blindness are those who have lost something greatly and have lost something. As even the party line became like this, this fact became clear once again.
“⋯⋯No. I didn’t collect it on purpose. “I just collected it and found out that only those people were there.”
“⋯⋯.”
“It just happened that way. Before you know it, it’s one thing, and before you know it, it’s another one. “When I came to my senses, I realized that a lot of people had come.”
“That’s right…”
“I guess those guys also needed someone. We just happened to be there, and those who weren’t sick didn’t need to look for anyone. “It just so happened that these people met each other.”
Cheongmyeong laughed out loud.
“And those who are naturally a bit lacking stick together well.”
Just like he and Tangbo did. People who share similar pain tend to find each other.
“So there is no special or grand reason. “I just couldn’t leave it alone.”
A hint of bitterness appeared on Cheongmyeong’s lips. It just caught my eye because I knew so keenly the feelings of those who lost something. I just couldn’t bear to refuse it.
“So, even if I went back in time, it would be the same. “I regret it, lament that I only suffered losses, and wonder what it had to do with me that I had to bleed and fight…”
Cheongmyeong closed his eyes slightly. When he opened his eyes again, his eyes were just clear.
“Still, I will go again. “They cursed me for doing something stupid.”
Tang Gunak sighed without realizing it.
“⋯⋯I’m not saying that’s stupid.”
“Tsk.”
However, Cheongmyeong suddenly stood up without listening to what he said. Tang Gunak raised his head with a puzzled look.
“hmm?”
“I want to go.”
“⋯⋯Suddenly?”
“Because the head of the family will need some alone time too.”
Cheongmyeong grinned and turned around. No, without trying to turn, he suddenly took a step towards Tanggunak.
“huh?”
chin!
He stretched out his hand and lightly tapped Tang Junyue on the shoulder. And then he put some force on his shoulder as if pushing down slightly.
“⋯⋯What?”
“then.”
Cheongmyeong, whose intentions were difficult to guess, turned around and walked away. Tanggunak, who was staring at his back as he walked without regret, opened his mouth.
“Hey, Hwasan Sword Association.”
“yes?”
Cheongmyeong only turned his head and looked at Tanggunak.
“⋯⋯Thank you.”
Then, Cheongmyeong, who was looking at the Tanggunak in silence, pointed up with his finger.
“Thanks to those above.”
It was an incomprehensible word. The figure of Qingming disappeared completely, and Tang Junyu looked up at the sky again. Numerous stars were still shining in the black sky.
A little while ago, it felt like the lights were watching and reprimanding him, but now they didn’t feel so cold.
I smoothed out the sleeves inside my sleeves. Suddenly, an absurd laugh came out of his mouth.
“In the end… you didn’t say a word about what I should do.”
I shook my head and closed my eyes.
Know. That is something that no one else can decide. A path that only he must decide. It is only his own fight.
However… there is a small thing that joins him in his own fight.
The small warmth that Cheongmyeong left behind as he pressed his shoulder. That warmth that seemed to have come from somewhere seeped into Tang Gunak’s shoulder.
