Episode 1175 A man who can’t even answer. (5)
It was a random statement. At least from Cheongmyeong’s perspective. So I had no choice but to tilt my head and look at Baekcheon.
“What are you saying? “Then I am a person.”
“There are times when it feels like it’s not.”
“Are you swearing now?”
Baekcheon chuckled.
‘It might sound strange.’
Because we both know each other.
Cheongmyeong is not a perfect person. As a human being, Cheongmyeong is full of flaws.
He has an odd personality, is single-minded, and has too much confidence in himself, so he sometimes makes mistakes. They know for sure what they know, but they are ridiculously ignorant when it comes to areas they don’t know much about. I don’t know how to consider the situation when I’m pushing someone, and I don’t know how to admit something that goes against my thoughts.
Therefore, Cheongmyeong will not be able to understand what Baekcheon is saying. But Baekcheon’s position was completely different.
Since there is such a problem, is Qingming not a perfect human being? Bai Qian did not think so.
Although he has a dirty personality, he doesn’t make enemies because of his personality. There are many things I don’t know, so I completely leave the things I can’t do well to others and trust them completely. Although he pushed someone too hard, in the end, no one gave up or turned around because of it.
I don’t admit things that are different from my thoughts, but in the end, my thoughts have been proven right. It’s not perfect at all, but in the end, it’s perfect. So isn’t the person named Cheongmyeong, who ultimately brings about the result, also perfect? Even if the form is different from the perfection that the world talks about.
So it was difficult at times. Pursuing that perfection. But…
“I just had that thought. “I thought you were human too.”
“That’s nonsense.”
Cheongmyeong didn’t ask any more than that. Baekcheon grabbed the bottle of alcohol that Cheongmyeong had put down and drank it again. Cheongmyeong looked at the situation as if it were absurd and asked.
“What did you get me for? “He’s a guy who doesn’t usually drink much.”
“There are days like that, too.”
“They say that if you do something you shouldn’t do, you will die…”
Cheongmyeong, who was joking without any sense, seemed to have gotten on his nerves, so he stopped talking and closed his mouth. Baekcheon, whose eyes twitched slightly, answered as if it was no big deal.
“Don’t worry. “Because I will live longer than you.”
“…Maybe so.”
Baekcheon took a quick look at Cheongmyeong’s complexion.
Perhaps Cheongmyeong doesn’t even know what answer he just gave. Since I didn’t have anything to say, I may have just thrown out whatever I wanted to say.
But that’s when a person’s true feelings come out. If it had been Cheongmyeong a few years ago, I would never have just accepted it with those short words and moved on.
I forgot. No, it might be more accurate to say that I was ignoring it.
Cheongmyeong is by no means a perfect person. No, even if a person is perfect, he or she is not ‘omnipotent.’ Since he is a human being, he also has limitations, and in the end, there are things he cannot handle alone.
‘I had no choice but to forget.’
This time, every time I thought that he wouldn’t be able to do anything on his own, that damn bastard proved that prediction wrong.
But Baekcheon had to remember.
Just because a person can handle a lot doesn’t mean it isn’t burdensome. Training doesn’t make the difficulty go away, and just because you’ve been cut by a knife a lot doesn’t mean you can’t feel the pain of being cut by a knife.
No matter how much treatment is given, scars remain and the memories of moaning in pain do not disappear.
I had to remember. Even if no one else knew, Baek Chun had to remember. Since Baek Chun was speechless, Qingmyeong asked.
“Aren’t you asking?”
“What?” “Isn’t that what you came here for?”
“So what?”
Cheongmyeong looks at Baekcheon with completely clueless eyes.
“I thought you were trying to ask that damn idiot what my answer would be.”
“I’m not curious.”
“…huh?”
“I’m not curious.”
Baekcheon answered harshly and took a sip of his drink. Cheongmyeong frowned.
“Aren’t you curious?”
Baekcheon said with a clear look of annoyance on his face.
“If you wait, the answer will come out on its own, so what difference does it make if you listen to it first?”
“No, you could try to convince me.”
“If I persuade you, will you listen?”
“I’m not listening.”
“But what are you trying to convince me of?”
“I see?”
Cheongmyeong nods with an expression of realization. Then he tilted his head with an expression of ignorance.
“Then why did you come?”
“…It’s not funny.”
“what?”
“I am your quarters and you are mine. “We have been in the same clan and have been seeing each other every day for several years.”
“…Why is that?”
“But you still need business and a reason to sit next to me and drink together.”
Cheongmyeong stared at Baekcheon with a suspicious look on his face. It seems like they are trying to find out what his intentions are. Deep down, I felt embarrassed because I had never heard anything like this before.
But Baekcheon was just annoyed.
“You can just drink it, why do you need a reason?”
His index finger pointed at the moon, which was half obscured by clouds.
“Look over there. “The moon is pretty too.”
“It’s really gloomy?”
“That’s what makes it pretty.”
“…Sasuk. “Did you eat something wrong for dinner?”
Baekcheon laughed softly.
I never knew before. Or perhaps, a gap that he did not need to feel shook him.
I can’t even remember the last time I had a sad conversation with this guy. No, I’m not sure if that ever happened in the first place.
“No, then why did you come?”
“Ha…”
Baekcheon slightly distorted his face as if he was annoyed.
“I saw the young cub looking at the moon alone and shivering, so I took pity on him and came to him. “But still, I’m the older brother.”
“…Did I really do something wrong? Then they say it won’t hurt if you get hit?”
“I’m going to hit you anyway, you bastard.”
“That’s right.”
Cheongmyeong looked at Baekcheon with incredulous eyes, then slowly turned his gaze towards the moon.
“ruler.”
Baekcheon held out the liquor bottle he was holding.
Cheongmyeong, who was staring at the suddenly thrust bottle, accepted it with a slow hand. And then he slowly tilted it towards his mouth.
Baekcheon looked at the moon for a moment and then opened his mouth.
“But…”
“I heard you didn’t ask.”
“I’m not asking. Just curious.”
“But did you really lose your mind today? “We call that ‘asking’!”
Baekcheon waved his hand as if it was no big deal and asked.
“Why do you do that?”
“huh?”
“I know why. I know roughly. What are you afraid of? But… that’s something everyone in the world has to deal with, not something you have to deal with alone.”
“….”
“Even if what you worry about actually happens, no one in the world will blame you. “But why are you acting like you have to handle all that of course?”
That question made Cheongmyeong chuckle. But the smile that had been on his face gradually disappeared.
“…well.”
Of course, I thought it was something he had to do.
But is that really the case?
In the past, Cheongmyeong did its best. The method may not have been entirely correct, but no one can deny that what he did ultimately saved the world.
But why is he trying to handle all of this alone, as if he has committed some kind of crime, as Baekcheon said? I’ve done enough, so I won’t point a finger at anyone if I leave the rest up to you to figure out.
Even if Cheong-moon was watching, he wouldn’t be able to criticize him…
“Well…”
Cheong-myeong thought about what he had said again and quickly picked up the awkward words.
“I do not know either. “Why am I doing this?”
“…Is that so?”
“It’s just, um… I guess that’s just the way it is.”
Baekcheon stared at Cheongmyeong’s profile in silence. And I thought. It’s that face again. Those eyes looking somewhere far away.
“There is no one to do it. “If it’s not me.”
“….”
“Just something… um.”
Cheongmyeong scratched his head.
“Actually, I’m not a very responsible person and I’m not a person who enjoys dragging someone along. Am I just the kind of person who doesn’t do anything and makes fun of what other people are doing? And then I drink alcohol in my spare time.”
“It’s trash.”
“….”
Cheongmyeong, who was speechless for a moment, shook his head.
Actually, this is not just a saying. Because Cheongmyeong in the past was really like that. In a peaceful world before the Demonic Cult took hold, Cheongmyeong was just a person rolling around without doing anything in the volcano.
Those were the most comfortable and enjoyable times in his life.
But how did it end up like this?
“Anyway, I’m not doing this because I want to.”
“Then you don’t have to do it.”
“But it’s not easy.”
“why?”
“There is no one.”
Cheongmyeong sighed with a sad face.
“There’s no one else who can do it but me. “If I don’t do it and throw it away, no one will do it for me, and no one can do it as well as me.”
“….”
“It’s obvious that if I let go and say I can’t do it, I’ll fail, but it’s not easy to just watch it.”
“….”
“As a result, the work I do one by one just increased.”
If I had a little more time, I might still have fun at the volcano sometimes. You would be tangled up with the executioners, giggling and torturing each other, and thus fill the time with a lot of things.
Who would blame it for not having enough time?
“But that doesn’t mean I want someone to do it for me. “It’s just something I have to deal with.”
Because the people who should replace them are no longer here.
Cheongmyeong thought so.
Perhaps because he was unable to share the things he should have shared in the past, he may now have to handle all of this alone.
In that case, all of these things must be accepted and endured by him.
“So don’t worry for no reason. If I don’t think I can do it even after trying as much as I can, I’ll throw it all away. “I just don’t feel like I’ve done enough yet.”
As I kept talking, I felt like I was saying something useless. Cheongmyeong cleared his throat sheepishly.
“Tsk. I’m also really fed up. “I’m talking about this to Dongryong.”
“I’m really dying.”
Cheongmyeong chuckled and took another sip of his drink. I took a big gulp like usual and wiped my mouth with my sleeve. His expression became a little brighter and his voice rose a little higher than before.
“don’t worry. “It’ll be okay soon.”
“huh?”
“Sometimes that happens in people’s lives. “It’s just that I have a lot to think about.”
“….”
“You’ll see something in a day or so. Then it’s just back to normal. “It’s a hundred years too early to worry about me, Dongryong.”
“It’s terrible.”
Baekcheon chuckled.
A short silence fell between the two. Just a quiet silence that isn’t too heavy.
Baekcheon, who was staring blankly at something beyond the moon, the night sky, or the clouds, slowly opened his mouth.
“I… no, if only we were a little stronger. “If that were the case, wouldn’t your worries have been reduced a little?”
That quiet voice lingered for a long time between the two people who were not looking at each other.
