Episode 1174 A man who can’t even answer. (4)
Cheongmyeong looked at the moon in the sky in silence.
Cheongmun’s face appeared overlapping with the indifferently white moon. A familiar yet nostalgic face was smiling at him.
“Funny…”
Cheongmyeong pouted his lips.
“A man who can’t even answer.”
A resentment that I can’t help but feel. And the inevitable longing.
Even though I knew that he was no longer there, I couldn’t help but think of that face at times like this.
Cheongmyeong, who was staring at Cheongmun’s face overlapping with the moon, spoke in a slightly raised voice.
“No, it’s not like that.”
A new smile escaped my lips.
“No matter how old I am, I would be shocked to hear that bald man’s words. No matter what I say, I don’t even listen. “It’s not like I’ve seen these people who just talk loudly once or twice.”
I waved my hand casually. But soon he spoke in a slightly weakened voice.
“Just…”
He paused as if he was a little hesitant and then raised his head. I saw an infinitely black night sky without clouds and moon.
“It’s not because of what that bald guy said… I just looked back at my situation. “I tried not to think about it if possible.”
Contrary to other people’s guesses, what the court said that shook Cheongmyeong the most was the statement, ‘You must be at the very back.’
Because that statement is not wrong.
Cheongmyeong is not stupid either. The person who leads everything must be in the safest place. Of course I know that much. That’s why, even in the past war against the Demonic Cult, wasn’t Cheongmun-man never allowed to enter the battlefield as much as possible?
The reason is simple. At that time, Cheongmyeong was not capable of leading the entire volcano. No matter how strong Cheongmyeong is, if Cheongjin was already lost and Cheongmun was also lost, the volcano would have lost its central point and would not be able to show its full potential.
okay. Leading is so important.
Despite knowing that fact, Cheongmyeong has been at the forefront so far. And we have repeatedly fought to the point of recklessness. Because I had firm confidence in my experience.
But… Cheongmyeong also knows. This means that the ‘heavenly luck’ that continues from your previous life to your current life is by no means eternal.
If they stick to the current method, one day, as the court said, Hwasan’s disciples may witness Cheongmyeong’s cold body with their own eyes.
And what awaits the volcano after that is probably destruction. Complete destruction that no one can avoid.
“Why am I so amazing…”
Cheongmyeong forced a light laugh.
It’s absurd to think of the word destruction. How many people can one Cheongmyeong try to do? If only the volcano’s babies were fully grown now, they would be able to do much more than Cheongmyeong.
“…Yeah, that’s right.”
Cheongmyeong lowered his head and muttered helplessly.
That’s really what he thought.
If Baekcheon can become a proper scholar and follow in the footsteps of Cheongmun in the past, and if Yunjong can become a proper Taoist and lead the Tao that was lacking in Hwasan.
If only Jo Geol could become the leader of Hwasan’s assault, Yu Iseol could become the textbook for the sword that Hwasan pursues, and Tang Soso could become a strict teacher to Hwasan’s disciples.
If all the other disciples were able to play their roles in their respective positions, Hwasan would become a much stronger and greater sect than when Cheongmun was leading it.
I was confident because Cheongmyeong had watched them for a long time.
Of course, I always ignored them and mistreated them because they were kids, but they are truly great talents. It’s so bad that it can’t even be compared to the old Cheongmyeong.
okay. I’m sure… I’m sure it will happen.
That’s why it’s even more sad.
“Are you going to punish me with a long sentence?”
Cheongmyeong laughed helplessly.
“Just ten more years… I could really make it happen. “Even if I don’t lead them, they will be able to get there on their own.”
The world, as always, does not give them enough time.
Cheongmyeong also knows this, so since returning to this world, he has been leading the volcano without stopping for a moment. To a slightly higher place, to a slightly higher place. But in the end, I couldn’t reach it in time.
If it were ten years from now, Cheongmyeong would have fought on the front lines without any hesitation to save at least one more person. Because there are many people who will play the role he needs to play behind the scenes.
But that shouldn’t be the case now. Cheongmyeong’s death now would be an indescribable loss to the entire volcano. In order to save even one more person, Cheongmyeong must not stand on the front line. That’s right. In order to save more….
“It’s quite a coincidence.”
Cheongmyeong laughed bitterly. He asked the question. What should we do with Haenam? That should have been an unanswerable question for the court.
However, although it is unclear whether the court intended it, the question instead came back to Cheongmyeong.
Just as Shaolin had to prove the cause he was talking about through Haenam, Cheongmyeong will now have to prove what he is talking about.
One day, Qingming will definitely face it.
In a situation where you might have to sacrifice all the other disciples to save one disciple of the volcano.
What will he do when that happens?
To put it in the extreme, if there is no other way than to charge the entire volcano into the Demon Cult’s main base to save one Baekcheon person who has fallen into a trap… what choice should one make?
Are you going to throw your life away along with everyone else, ignoring Baekcheon’s words, coughing up blood and yelling that you shouldn’t come?
Or will you turn around, feeling like you’re tearing out your own eardrums, stabbing your eyes, and cutting off an arm?
“…execution.”
Cheongmyeong muttered bitterly.
“You’re a really great guy too. “I tried to get closer, but I was still far away…”
I never thought about going beyond the hearing in the first place. But still, I thought I could now understand a little bit what he felt and worried about in the past.
But every time something like this happens, I learn something new. This is what past hearings went through.
“It’s the sword of the volcano…”
Cheongmyeong chuckled.
I really wish I could do that. Because a sword is something you just swing without thinking about.
That was exactly the position that Cheongmyeong wanted. A place where you don’t have to think for yourself. A place where you don’t have to fight and take responsibility whenever you feel like it.
But he knows.
He cannot be the sword of the volcano. Someday it may be able to return to its original state, but now it cannot become a complete sword. Because no one in the volcano will be able to wield him freely. Because you won’t be able to properly lift the sword called Cheongmyeong.
In that case, you have no choice but to move on your own. I must think and choose with my own will and self.
“Long sentence of death.”
Cheongmyeong sang slowly and laughed softly.
“sorry. I didn’t even know the subject at the time…”
When he tried to go to rescue Cheongjin, Cheongmun stopped him. At that time, Cheongmyeong did not hide his emotions and poured out his anger on Cheongmun.
But now I know. How presumptuous that was.
That a person who does not have to take responsibility for a choice should not have dared to say such a thing to a person who must accept the full cost of that choice.
“But… I still don’t know about death penalty.”
Cheongmyeong’s blank gaze turned to the moon.
“I know I have to choose, but I don’t know what to choose. So I put it off and put it off, but in the end, I got here.”
I thought that if I raised the volcano’s disciples to be stronger and somehow made them stronger before the enemies showed up, I might not be forced to make that absurd choice. No, I believed that.
Although the executioners were angry that they could not face the approaching death, it was none other than Cheongmyeong who was ignoring the death they faced more than anyone else.
I know it painfully because I have seen death too many times. How painful the sudden absence of those who were with us is.
That’s why I don’t have the confidence to choose.
Like the court, it is right to save more people, so we cannot say that we should put aside our personal feelings and boldly throw away what needs to be thrown away. However, we cannot drag everyone into the middle of death and laugh after saving one person by saying that it was great.
If he really faced such a situation, Qingming wouldn’t be able to do anything. I would just let go and sit down without knowing what to do.
And that will one day lead to the destruction of the volcano. Cheongmyeong’s hesitation, Cheongmyeong’s indecision will push the volcano into a pit from which there is no way to survive.
“I thought I would become an adult if I lived longer.”
He had already lived enough. No, I lived to the point where it was too much. A life that should have already been lost has been persistently maintained.
“But… I guess there are separate people who can become adults in the first place. “I was a person who couldn’t do that.”
How good would it be to have Cheongmun by your side at times like this?
If only there was someone here to make the choices he couldn’t make and bear the burden for him. At the very least, if Cheongjin were here instead of Cheongmun…
“That’s greed.”
Cheongmyeong shook his head.
Nothing will change if you miss those who are no longer there. Missing them is nothing more or less than proof that Cheongmyeong has become that weak now.
Cheongmyeong glanced down at the liquor bottle in his hand. He stared at the drink that had not diminished even a drop, sighed, and opened his mouth.
“Did you bring a glass?”
There was no answer back.
However, Cheongmyeong spoke without even turning his head, as if he knew this would happen.
“I didn’t bring a glass.”
Jerk. Jerk.
Baekcheon approached with the familiar sound of footsteps and sat down next to him. Then, he snatched the liquor bottle from Cheongmyeong’s hand.
“It’s surprising that this guy doesn’t even drink from a glass.”
Baekcheon tilted the bottle and gulped down the liquor in one go. Cheongmyeong stared at his profile in silence.
“nice.”
Baekcheon frowned and lowered the bottle.
“It’s strong.”
“That’s how alcohol is.”
Cheongmyeong took the bottle of alcohol that Baekcheon had handed back. However, unlike usual, he did not put it in his mouth but simply placed it down.
Baekcheon, who had been quietly watching the scene, cast his gaze forward and opened his mouth.
“What are you doing here?”
“just.”
“okay?”
Baekcheon, who was staring at the moon in the sky, slowly opened his mouth. “I was relieved.”
“what?”
“You too…”
Baekcheon’s voice was just calm. But somehow, it contained an unknown sound.
“You are human too.”
The moon rising over the Yangtze River was torn apart by the waves.
